Fixing a Toxic Employee Problem - a real life example

Last week I posted about how to identify and deal with a toxic employee. This week - I want to expand on it and give you a real life example.  

These are my answers to the reporters questions about dealing with a toxic volunteer and the damage that was caused. 

We keep referring to “toxic,” but not describing what it looks like. This one volunteer was toxic in what manner? What was he or she doing?

This volunteer was acting as if she was in control of the volunteers. She felt her job – and therefore the job of all the volunteers – was to spy on staff and report them for – behaving “badly” however she defined it. This created toxic staff volunteer relationships – because – no member of the staff wanted to work with a volunteer who thought it was their job to get them in trouble. No one would want to voluntarily work with someone who was out to get them fired! This – approach – her approach - killed – trust.

Also, are we saying that this one toxic volunteer affected 10 other volunteers such that they were contributing nothing to the organization? Can we describe this more specifically? Morale was low because of this person? Or something else?

Yes. This is exactly what I am saying. This one volunteer – destroyed staff volunteer relationships by acting as if – every member of the staff was a horrible person up to no good.  She was actively threatening people’s jobs if she didn’t get what she wanted. She didn’t trust anyone and her actions and “assumed authority” meant that there was no trust between the staff and the volunteers.  And that meant – the staff didn’t want to work with volunteers. The volunteers had no direction from staff. The relationship between staff and volunteers was toxic.  The volunteers weren’t being given the opportunity to contribute. Their only impact on the organization was the fear and intimidation campaign this – “head volunteer” waged. The staff that could have done something – and should have done something to stop this volunteer – were scared of her and scared of the impact she might have on donors. So – they allowed it to get out of control. They felt they needed her – because – non-profits rely on volunteers and donors. And we had so few when I arrived. Only 10 – at a major non profit in Los Angeles with a good national reputation!  They wanted it fixed – but didn’t know how to do it without making things worse – because – again – this woman was threatening to destroy everyone’s reputation and the organizations reputation.

How did you fix this?

The way I fixed this was – 1^st – I consulted with staff to find out what volunteers could do that would be helpful. I then wrote up a job description and interviewed the volunteers to see if they wanted to do the volunteer jobs we had created. All but the toxic one were thrilled to finally have some clarity around what they were supposed to be doing and how they could be helpful and that finally – they could ignore the toxic volunteer and not have to deal with her anymore. The staff who had agreed to experiment with volunteers loved having the help and the volunteers loved being helpful – finally.  And the program took off.

The one who refused because – she thought it was her job to spy on staff and get them in trouble – was fired. And that was the end of that. Literally – one toxic volunteer – destroyed trust to the point that she was holding an entire organization hostage.  Trust was pretty easily rebuilt once we had some structure and an authority (me) who held her accountable. As much as this one volunteer tried to get back into the organization – absolutely no one wanted her back.

She was not collaborative at all. She was just – very authoritarian. Her way was the only way – and no one could be trusted – and that attitude – is what caused the toxic relationship between volunteers and staff. The fix – was to build in and reward collaboration and – to fire the toxic person so they could no longer hold anyone in the organization hostage with their threats.  

 If you want to learn how to do this - I provide online learning programs that teach behavioral based approaches to harassment and conflict situations. 

https://humanistlearning.com/category/bullyingharassment/ 

Identifying toxic workers before they can do damage

I teach how to stop bullying and harassment in the workplace using behavioral science. My company is Humanist Learning Systems.  I also teach humanistic management and leadership techniques as well as critical thinking.

1. What kind of damage can a toxic worker do to a company or team/dept. operating in a company?  

A toxic worker is expensive. And not just because of the potential for lawsuits. Toxic workers kill productivity because they kill trust.  One of my first jobs out of college was the director of volunteer services for a non profit.  We had toxic volunteer staff relations when I was hired and I was hired to fix it. And I did – and was able to fire the toxic volunteer.  We went from 10 volunteers contributing – basically nothing of value to the organization to 500 volunteers donating 20,000 hours a year in 3 years. One toxic part time volunteer was literally costing the organization – the equivalent to 10 full time employees in productivity.  Now imagine what kind of damage a full-time paid staff member can do.

2. What are the early signs or red flags that a toxic worker is hurting workplace performance? 

Negativity. Lack of psychological safety. Though I want to caution – people who are negative – may not be toxic – they just may be responding as any normal human does when they encounter a toxic individual that they can’t get away from because they work with them.  My point is that if morale starts to get bad, and social trust starts to erode and the gossip/whisper network starts to kick in – you have a problem – and you need to identify the person who is causing that and get rid of them.  Don’t assume the people complaining are the problem. They are just the ones telling you – you have a problem – pay attention. 

3. What are the first steps a manager should take to deal with a toxic worker and why?  

1st step – don’t assume they are toxic.  Everyone has dignity and worth and you do not know what is going on in a person’s life.  Also – the person you are being told is the problem – might actually be the victim of bullying and harassment and a rumor campaign. So do not jump to conclusions about anyone.  Instead – investigate. 

2nd step – set up conditions for people to succeed.  Often – a toxic worker manifests as conflict.  So – you have a conflict situation. You don’t know what is going on. I give people guidelines for my expectations on how they will handle the conflict – using a mediation model. Meaning – if whatever you are complaining about keeps happening – let me know – and I will handle it. Generally speaking – the people who work the system – are not the problem. The people who keep doing the inappropriate thing – are the problem.  I have entire courses dedicated to how to do this.  People who are in control of their behavior – will behavior appropriately. People who are not  will not.  

Your goal is to determine what is going on – assuming that all parties are well intentioned until proven otherwise. And let people live up to your fine expectations for them. Most people will do well with this if given the support they need.   The mistake I see managers make at this stage – is that they don’t want to put in the effort to moderate a dispute and they don’t understand why  - after telling people to come to them if there is a problem – that they keep coming to them with their problems.  So  - instead of rewarding the people telling you there is a problem – the manager gets frustrated and then – starts believing the bully that the victim – is a complainer and toxic and needs to be let go – when it’s the bully who is causing the problem.

When you set people up to either behave professionally or not – and you set up a system to report – reward the people who use the system. Not the people who spread rumors and sabotage other people’s work.  What I tell people – is start to document everything. And I mean everything.  It’s the documentation that surfaces the true problem employee – whose behavior will get worse and worse as they can no longer hide. 

4. If a toxic worker does not respond to direct interaction from a manager or HR, what are a company's options? 

If a suspected toxic worker does not respond to the changed expectations for behavior – and instead fights it and starts spreading rumors about the manager and their behavior escalates – only then can you really decide – well – I guess they are toxic and not simply cranky or frustrated.

5. Is termination the ultimate answer? Or, can a toxic worker be salvaged and kept on a team, or at least moved to another department or team? 

 If someone is truly toxic – it’s not really worth the time and resources to salvage them in my opinion. And I say this as someone is a huge fan of giving people additional changes. In fact - I used to work in a department - that actively hired people that had been fired from other departments. We were the most effective department in the company - built entirely of people who had been kicked out - of other departments. 

But with toxic people - we are not simply talking about people who are cranky and negative or who don't get along with someone. We are talking about people who are actively sabotaging the work with their toxic attitudes and behavior by destroying trust and psychological safety required for an effective work environment.  Everyone is already spending so much time working around the toxic person just to get things done – do you really want to invest even more time trying to get them to behave better.  Remember – you gave them and everyone else – an opportunity to shape up earlier in the process. If they could change and were amenable to change – they would have already – changed.  Their failure to change is what gets you to this point. And at this point – don’t sink any more costs in – get rid of them. You should experience an immediate relief from everyone else in the workplace and an increase in productivity as people – can now – put 100% of their mental energy into their jobs without having to spend any time thinking about how to politically maneuver around the toxic worker. 

 

Saving your company from a toxic employee

What can you do when you see a toxic attitude spreading among your employees and can't let anyone go?

Organizational culture is determined by the last person promoted.  If you promoted a toxic person – you taught everyone else that the way to get ahead is to be rude.

Without knowing exactly what the “toxic attitude” is, it is hard to give you a course of action to take.

But in general – you don’t reward the behavior you want and you do reward the behavior you do want. If there is toxic attitudes being adopted, it’s because you are rewarding – inadvertently – the toxic behavior.  In other words, whatever incentives you have – they are perverse and need to be corrected or the status quo will remain.

Also – you can always let someone go. Always. The idea that someone is so important you can’t function without them is lazy thinking and counter-productive. Toxic individuals are productivity black holes. The reason they seem to be the most productive is because they are taking up everyone else’s time and making everyone else less productive.  Once the toxic person is gone and people don’t have to spend half their day catering to the toxic person’s whims, the productivity of the remaining staff flourishes. Exponentially so. I used to work at a non-profit. I fired a toxic volunteer and within 3 years we gained an additional 20,000 hours of volunteer time that was no possible while the toxic volunteer was there. That one toxic volunteer was costing us the equivalent of 10 full time employees! 

Truly toxic employees drain productivity. The best way to prevent their toxic attitude from spreading – is to get rid of them. As long as they are tolerated  - you are sending a message that this behavior is not only acceptable – but rewarded.

To learn more about how to stop bullying and other unwanted behaviors in the workplace - take one of my online courses:
https://humanistlearning.com/category/bullyingharassment/

Dealing with a Toxic Narcissist in the Workplace

The nice thing about narcissists – especially the raging ones – is that they aren’t in control of their behavior. They behave pathologically – which means they are insanely easy to manipulate because their behavior in response to certain stimulus is predictable. You can use that to trigger them in certain ways. Run circles around them basically.

The problem is that it is physically and emotionally draining to do this.  Like all bullies, managing their emotional needs takes time away from actually getting work done.  It is better to get the toxic person out of the office and fire them. They are a massive black hole of lost productivity.

I once fired a toxic volunteer from a non-profit I worked at and in 3 years, we had increased volunteer output to 20,000 hours per year. That’s the equivalent of 10 full time employees. That’s a LOT of lost productivity caused by 1 toxic person.

How do you deal with them?  It depends on who they are.  If they are the boss – you either manage their narcissism so that their impact on workflow is minimized, or you quit.  There are no other options if you cannot fire them. You either help manage their condition to create space for everyone else to get work done, or you allow them to wreak havoc in the workplace or you quit.

If they are a co-worker, the best course of action is to manage their narcissism so that it isn’t directed at you or your team while simultaneously setting them up to be fired.  And again, that’s fairly easy to do because their behavior is super predictable.  And to answer your next question – yes – I’ve done this before – successfully on more than one occasion. I’ve only experienced retaliation a few times but could ride that out because of the weakened position of the narcissist by that point. In a couple of the cases the narcissist didn’t know it was me who set them up.

How does someone do this?  You must have a good grounding in how behaviors are shaped and triggered. This allows you to set up conditions that will trigger the narcissist’s bad behavior and gets them to escalate. While you are doing this, you are simultaneously – personally – feeding their ego so they come to rely on you to keep them sane.  You do this to keep the narcissist from interfering with employees and the work flow by keeping them occupied elsewhere.  It’s a defensive move – not an offensive move.

If they are not the boss, you can then trigger their bad behavior in an area that doesn’t impact workflow, but that makes it obvious to upper management that this person is a problem. It takes a little bit of planning and strategizing to do this well.

What you don’t do is try to change them. Narcissism is a personality disorder. If you aren’t a therapist, you can’t fix it and it’s not your job to fix it. Your job is to minimize the harm the narcissist does to the company and the employees and the workflow. It’s pretty much a full time job managing the mental health of a narcissist in the workplace, which is why it’s best if they get fired. But if someone doesn’t take on the task of managing them, they will persist and continue to wreak havoc. This is one of those – someone’s gotta do it situations. Unfortunately.

And before anyone accuses me of not having compassion for someone with a legitimate mental health issue - don't. If they were responsible and taking care of their mental illness and dealing with it constructively - they wouldn't be toxic to the workplace. It's because they aren't dealing with their illness constructively so that they minimize the harm their condition does to others that they are a problem. Until or unless they take responsibility - they will continue to be a blackhole of lost productivity. And again, it's not the employer's or coworker's job to fix them. It's their responsibility to seek the mental health care they need. Not allowing a narcissist to wreak havoc - may actually help them understand - they need help.

If you want to learn more about how exactly - to deal with the behavioral problem that narcissists create - I recommend my comprehensive program on bullying in the workplace. It is 6 hours long. For a reason.

https://humanistlearning.com/workplacebullying1/ 

Navigating Minefields in the Office

Not every workplace has a toxic employee – but even non-toxic workplaces have their challenges.

If the Workplace Bullying Institute’s numbers are correct, then 48% of us have either been bullied, are currently being bullied or have witnessed bullying in the workplace. (see: http://workplacebullying.org/multi/pdf/WBI-2014-US-Survey.pdf) That’s half of the workforce. That’s a lot.

And for those of us lucky enough to not work in a workplace where that happens, we still have to deal with interpersonal dynamics. Even if we do get along, conflicts between people happen.

How can we navigate the potential minefields that exist in every office? Reason, compassion and action. The hallmarks of the humanist approach to life (see:  http://happiness.jen-hancock.com/)

In my career, I have dealt successfully with toxic people, annoying people, passive aggressive people and I’ve even survived a coordinated attempt to attack my character and get me fired, successfully.

I’ve survived all of these things because a) I’m a good person who is honest and conscientious. b) I own up to and correct my mistakes quickly. And c) I apply my reason and compassion to the problem to develop a strategy that will help me succeed despite what is being thrown at me.

Is it easy? No. Whenever these things happen, they catch me off guard like they do all of us. Most people are nice. Most of us just want to get our work done and do it well. People who are walking time bombs of insecurity are not the norm. It’s upsetting to become targeted by these people. The only thing worse than being targeted, is to be a walking time bomb of insecurity. I feel sorry for them.

By considering them compassionately, I resist the urge to demonize them. Not only can I treat them with respect, even if they fail to respect me, I can also often defuse the problem by using my reason to solve our collective problem because I’m not so upset or angry that I behave immorally in response to them.

While fighting back or defending yourself may feel emotionally satisfying, it does more harm than good. Behaving morally and ethically and conscientiously means I’m not adding to the problem. I’m just trying to get my work done and get along as best I can with other people. If I make a mistake, I correct it. I don’t blame anyone else. This is why it has been easy for all of my managers to see that I’m not the problem. I’m not!

Navigating the minefields of the office is hard, but you don’t need to tip toe around people who are just waiting to go off. You don’t serve your company or your coworkers well by avoiding them. Do your job. Do it well and be nice to everyone, including the jerks. If someone is intentionally making it hard to get work done document that fact. If they want to dig their own hole, you can’t stop them. But you can provide proof that they are the ones who dug the hole.

If you need help dealing with anger in yourself and others – consider taking this course by Dr. Leon Seltzer - https://humanistlearning.com/angermanagement101/

People to avoid

How to recognize toxic people and find the courage to get them out of your life.

If you have read my book, The Humanist Approach to Happiness: Practical Wisdom (and if you haven’t you should), you know that there are certain people I advocate that you don’t just avoid, you run as far away from them as possible as quickly as possible. Or as my husband likes to say – run for the hills!

Turns out I’m not the only one who thinks this is good advice. OmTimes has a list of the top 10 people you should avoid at all costs (http://omtimes.com/2013/08/top-10-toxic-people-to-avoid-at-all-costs/)

1) Really angry people
2) Charming liars
3) Narcissists
4) Drama queens and kings
5) Perpetual cynics (can’t be happy ever)
6) Complainers (what I call Negative Nellies)
7) Boors (name droppers more concerned with status than anything else)
8) The wild child (who are actually fairly suicidal – don’t let them kill you)
9) The perpetual dreamer (reality and them are not on good terms)
10) Perpetual child (can’t be an equal partner because they won’t grow up)

I agree with this list. In fact, pretty much everyone on this list is on my list in my book. Given that I’ve taken a little bit of crap for being so heartless to not give some of these types of people continued access to me and that I’ve counseled young people how to recognize these people and avoid relationships with them, I just want to say, this list was put together by an actual psychiatrist who specializes in trauma and recovery as well as healthy relationships. Do I feel vindicated? Oh heck yeah.

Run for the hills and carry on.