And yes- people dismiss men and label them jerks, aholes and other things too. We humans find all sorts of reasons to justify not listening to other people regardless of gender or skin color. If we can label the other person - evil or insane - in some way - we can justify not listening to them. This is our tribal brains at work.
- A man calling a man disgusting - is probably referring to his hygiene or something he has done that was disgusting.
- A woman calling a man disgusting probably means he did something sexually disgusting.
- A man calling a woman disgusting - is dismissing her as some sort of sexual deviant who is not worth his time to take seriously.
The demeaning and dehumanizing people - to win arguments - is - as old as time. But - it's a mistake to dismiss people we disagree with - by denigrating - not their ideas - but them as human beings.
Which is why I wanted to say - can we all stop being sexist for a little bit. In a discussion board on the male congressman calling a young female congresswoman - disgusting - another white male - go figure - said - yes - he's an ahole - but she's a performance artist - so - it was a perfect storm.
And - when people call you out - don't get defensive - just say - my bad and try to improve in the future. Especially if you view yourself as an ally.
No - this is not tone policing. Not it's not language censoring. No - this doesn't stifle legitimate debate. It's just a request - from people who get called these stupid sexist names all the time to dismiss us as unworthy of speaking in a public forum - that - you please - stop.