Hack Your Brain: Mastering the 5 Managerial Superpowers

 What if I told you that your brain is running on autopilot most of the time? That your reactions, decisions, and even conflicts are often driven by deeply ingrained habits rather than conscious thought? The good news is that you can take control. You can hack your brain, reprogram it for success, and become the leader—or simply the person—you want to be.

That’s exactly what my book and course, Mastering the 5 Managerial Superpowers, are designed to teach. Using behavioral science, I guide you through the process of rewiring your brain to manage yourself, your responses, and ultimately, your interactions with others more effectively. Here’s how:

Step 1: Build Your Foundation – Self-Awareness & Compassion

Before you can change anything, you need to understand how your brain works. Most of us operate on autopilot, reacting to situations based on past experiences and deeply ingrained patterns. Developing self-awareness allows you to recognize these patterns. Pairing that with compassion—for yourself and others—creates the space for real change.

Once you’re aware of how you react, you can begin to practice self-control. This is the key to breaking automatic responses and gaining the ability to choose how you respond instead of letting emotions or old habits take over.

Step 2: Hack Your Brain Using Behavioral Science

The science of change is clear: small, intentional shifts create lasting transformation. Your brain thrives on reinforcement and repetition. This means that with deliberate practice, you can create new neural pathways that make strategic thinking your default instead of knee-jerk reactions.

This is where behavioral science techniques come into play. By understanding how habits form and how reinforcement works, you can train your brain to make better choices automatically. The result? You become more effective in managing yourself, your work, and your relationships.

Step 3: Manage Conflict by Managing Your Response

Conflict is inevitable—but how you respond to it determines the outcome. The difference between escalating a conflict and resolving it effectively comes down to one thing: your response.

When you learn to pause, assess, and choose your response strategically, you take control of the situation rather than letting it control you. This shift empowers you to handle even the most difficult interactions with confidence and clarity.

Your Superpower Awaits

Mastering these skills isn’t just about leadership—it’s about harnessing the power of your own mind to create the outcomes you want. When you learn to control your responses, you gain the ultimate superpower: the ability to shape your own reality.

Ready to start hacking your brain for success? Check out Mastering the 5 Managerial Superpowers and unlock the skills that will change the way you lead, work, and live.

Why Our Brains Struggle with Women in Leadership—and How to Fix It

The human brain is an incredible pattern recognition device. Every day, it sifts through thousands of pieces of information, creating and reinforcing patterns to help us navigate the world efficiently. But this incredible capacity can also become a barrier, especially when it comes to bias against women in leadership roles.

For many, the traditional image of a leader is a man. This isn't surprising, given that for centuries leadership roles—whether in business, politics, or other spheres—have been overwhelmingly dominated by men. Over time, this has solidified a powerful mental model: leadership = male.

So, what happens when a woman steps into a leadership role? For some people, their brains simply don’t recognize the pattern. The brain, accustomed to a different model of leadership, resists this new input because it doesn’t align with the established mental pattern. As a result, people may unconsciously doubt, resist, or even undermine women in leadership positions—not because of conscious prejudice, but because their brains are wired to expect something different.

This isn’t an excuse for sexism, but it is a way to understand it. Our brains tend to fight what they don’t recognize. But the good news is that we can retrain our brains. Just as any other skill, brain patterns can be changed with enough repetition.

Training the Brain: The Power of Representation

One of the most effective ways to reshape these mental models is through repeated exposure to new patterns. This is where representation becomes critical. The more we see women in leadership positions—whether in real life or in stories—the more our brains can adapt to the idea that women belong in these roles.

Think of it as updating an old operating system. With enough repetition, the brain learns to recognize women as leaders just as easily as it does men. This is why representation in media, stories, and everyday life is so important. It's not just about fairness; it’s about retraining society’s collective brain to recognize women in power as the new normal.

The Resistance to Change

Of course, not everyone is on board with this change. Some people push back against the idea of women in leadership—or against representation of diverse groups in stories—because their brains don’t like the disruption. When you hear complaints about “too much diversity” in media, for example, it’s often a reflection of discomfort with shifting mental models.

The key to overcoming this discomfort is understanding that change takes time and repetition. The more we expose our brains to new leadership models, the easier it becomes to accept them. It’s not about forcing change on people, but rather about giving their brains enough new information to work with, so that eventually, the idea of a woman in charge becomes as familiar and comfortable as any other well-established pattern.

Dealing with Resistance and Sabotage

While repetition and exposure can help many people adapt to new patterns, not everyone will welcome change, and some may actively resist or sabotage your efforts to create a more inclusive leadership culture. This resistance often stems from discomfort or fear of the unfamiliar, but it can also manifest as deliberate actions aimed at undermining progress. In these cases, it's crucial to recognize that not everyone will adapt—some may dig in their heels to maintain the status quo. My course, Safeguarding Diversity and Inclusion: Unmasking Saboteurs, delves deeply into how to harness behavioral change for good while addressing those who resist. When faced with individuals who continuously sabotage your efforts, the best course of action is to remove them from the equation. Firing individuals who are undermining change not only protects the integrity of your initiative but also sends a clear message that diversity and inclusion are non-negotiable values in your organization. https://hr-credits-us.learnformula.com/course/safeguarding-diversity-and-inclusion-unmasking-saboteurs

More learning at: https://humanistlearning.com 

Conclusion

Bias against women in leadership isn’t just a cultural issue; it’s also a brain science issue. Our brains are wired to recognize patterns, and for too long, leadership has been synonymous with men. By increasing representation and normalizing women in positions of power, we can retrain our brains to see leadership in a more inclusive way. The solution lies in understanding that change happens through repetition and exposure—and that’s why representation matters so much.

Unveiling the Secrets of "Mastering the 5 Managerial Superpowers"

I am thrilled to announce the release of my latest book, Mastering the 5 Managerial Superpowers. This is not just another book on management and leadership—it's a deep dive into the science of how you can truly gain control over your responses, hack your brain using behavioral science, and manage conflict with unprecedented effectiveness.

I honestly believe it’s the most important work I’ve ever written. Here’s why.

Foundational Skills: Building the Bedrock of Effective Leadership

At the heart of Mastering the 5 Managerial Superpowers is the concept of foundational skills. This starts with cultivating self-awareness and compassion—because understanding yourself and showing empathy towards others are the cornerstones of effective leadership.

Once you’ve laid this groundwork, you can move on to mastering self-control. This isn’t about repressing your emotions but rather about understanding them so deeply that you can choose how to respond. Instead of reacting with a knee-jerk impulse, you can respond strategically, turning every situation into an opportunity for positive outcomes.

Hacking Your Brain: The Science of Change

The second big idea in the book is about hacking your brain. I explore how you can use insights from behavioral science to literally rewire your default reactions and change how you deal with problems. Change isn’t just possible; it’s something you can engineer within yourself.

Imagine being able to shift your mindset, break free from unproductive habits, and approach challenges with a renewed sense of clarity. This book shows you how to harness the power of behavioral science to make these changes not just aspirational but achievable.

Managing Conflict: Mastering the Art of Response

Finally, Mastering the 5 Managerial Superpowers delves into one of the most critical aspects of leadership and - life: managing conflict. The key to effective conflict management isn’t just about resolving disagreements. It's about managing your own response to conflict.

By mastering the skills of self-control and strategic response, you can approach conflicts not as threats but as opportunities. This book equips you with the tools to navigate these situations with confidence and poise, ensuring that you lead by example even in the most challenging circumstances.

Why This Book Matters

In a world where change is constant and challenges are inevitable, the ability to control your responses and lead with intention is more important than ever both in your personal and professional life. Mastering the 5 Managerial Superpowers is designed to help you develop these critical skills so that you can not only survive but thrive.

The reason I think this is the best book I've ever written is because it's not just about leadership. It's about self management. And how to accomplish that using behavioral science to change how you respond. I feel like I've shared the secrets of the universe and how to be human - better - in this book. Like everything else I've written was leading up to this. It's an odd feeling to have.  

The funny thing is - I wrote this course and book, because someone asked me to. They told me the topics they wanted me to cover. I thought they were great and I wrote about my approach to self awareness, managing change, conflict management and - managing actual real people. 

The point is, whether you’re a seasoned manager, a new manager, or just want to learn how to be a better human, this book offers actionable insights  based on science that will transform the way you approach your work and your life. 

I truly believe that the tools and techniques outlined in this book can make a profound difference in your life and in your journey as a leader. Thank you for your support, and I look forward to hearing how Mastering the 5 Managerial Superpowers impacts you.

Learn More: 

The online course can be accessed at: https://humanistlearning.com/mastering-the-five-managerial-superpowers/

The paperback is at amazon: https://amzn.to/3SXJy4O

The ebooks are at amazon: https://amzn.to/3AsFvHc

and at your favorite ebook retailers through draft2digital: https://books2read.com/b/bxANgv

The audio book is in process and will be posted at the humanistlearning website once it's available.

Busting the Bullying Myth: Ignoring a Bully Doesn't Work

 Let's bust a myth: Ignoring a bully doesn't work.

We know people mean well when they say, "Ignore a bully, and they'll leave you alone." But this advice doesn’t work. 

What Actually Works?

What works? Simply put: science. Specifically, behavioral science.

For over 70 years, researchers have explored how we learn and unlearn behaviors. There is a way to cause unlearning, but it’s not easy.  You have to remove the reward bullies get from bullying. 

To make bullying stop, you need to remove the reward. This is incredibly hard to do, especially when a bully is in your face.

Why Ignoring Them Doesn't Work

When people tell you to - "ignore a bully" what they are really trying to say is don’t reward the bully. 

The main reason ignoring them doesn’t work is because most bullies see your silence as submission—and they view that – as a reward! 

The Process Explained

To get them to stop – you have to remove their reward.

In theory – this is pretty simple. Don’t reward the bully. Repeat until they stop.

But like all simple things, it’s not that easy in reality.

How do you remove the reward without ignoring them? 

Answer: You need to find something to say that shows you heard them but aren't bothered by them. 

And then, you need to repeat it every time they hassle you.

The Crappy Reality

The other issue with "ignore them and they will go away" is that even if it worked, it wouldn’t work immediately. Ignoring them often leads to an initial increase in their attempts to provoke you before they eventually give up.

How long will this take? Not too long, but it won't work on the first try. Removing the reward requires repetition and patience.

The unfortunate reality is that when you remove the reward, bullying can get worse before it gets better. This is backed by 70 years of research.

Any anti-bullying program that doesn’t prepare you for this reality sets you up to fail. To stop bullying, you need to know what works, how difficult it is, and what to expect when you start using these techniques.

Resources To Stop Bullying

I offer free materials on my website, www.bullyvaccineproject.com, that teach these methods. I also have a book detailing the science and practical steps you can take. Plus, worksheets and exercises to help you develop effective responses to bullies.

If you are looking for harassment training that teaches how to make harassment stop - please consider using my online courses for your staff training needs: https://humanistlearning.com/category/bullyingharassment/

Take Action

If you are struggling with a bully, stop. Find out what actually works according to science and take control of the situation. 

Visit my website, get my book, and learn what it takes.

Please, share this information with others who are struggling. Together, we can finally fix this problem.

Thank you. Let’s make bullying a thing of the past. Please share this with others. 

FYI - I also offer this book in Spanish, Italian and Portuguese

Fostering Humanistic Leadership: A Behavioral Approach to Bullying Prevention

 In a world that craves compassion and understanding, the role of leadership in shaping a positive and inclusive environment cannot be overstated. One of the pressing challenges that demand our attention is bullying—an issue that permeates schools, workplaces, and communities. To tackle this pervasive problem, we turn our gaze towards humanistic leadership and a behavioral science approach that seeks not only to stop bullying but to cultivate a culture of empathy, respect, and kindness.

Understanding Bullying Behavior

Before we delve into the solutions, it's crucial to comprehend the nuances of bullying behavior. Bullying goes beyond mere conflicts; it leaves lasting scars on the emotional well-being of individuals and the fabric of communities and organizations. As we navigate the complexities of bullying, we recognize the need for a comprehensive understanding that goes beyond surface-level interventions.

The Role of Humanistic Leadership

Humanistic leadership stands as a beacon of hope in the quest for a better society. Grounded in principles that prioritize the well-being of individuals, humanistic leaders foster environments where everyone feels seen, heard, and valued. By embracing empathy and understanding, these leaders create a foundation for dismantling the structures that allow bullying to persist.

Behavioral Approach to Bullying Prevention

As we strive for a society free from the grips of bullying, a behavioral approach emerges as a powerful tool in our arsenal. Rooted in the science of behavior, this approach focuses on understanding the dynamics that drive bullying behaviors and implementing targeted interventions to reshape them. By addressing the root causes and modifying behavioral patterns, we can create lasting change at both the individual and group levels.

Imagine a classroom where conflicts are opportunities for growth, where students and educators alike possess the skills to navigate challenges with empathy and communication. The behavioral approach empowers leaders to instill these skills, fostering an environment where bullying struggles to take root.

The Importance of Education in Behavioral Science

To truly combat bullying, we must equip educators and leaders with the knowledge and tools grounded in behavioral science. Education becomes our ally in this fight, offering insights into the intricacies of human behavior and the strategies to reshape it positively.

Understanding the principles of behavioral science provides a roadmap for leaders to identify early signs of bullying, intervene effectively, and cultivate a culture of mutual respect. It's not just about stopping negative behaviors; it's about nurturing a mindset shift that encourages positive interactions and genuine connections.

Introducing "Behavioral Science for Bullying Prevention in the Classroom" Course

In our commitment to empower leaders and educators, we present the "Behavioral Science for Bullying Prevention in the Classroom" course. This comprehensive course, available for free streaming, dives deep into the behavioral science principles essential for effective bullying prevention and is specifically addressing the problem educators have of addressing this problem in the classroom.

Partnering with Learn Formula, we extend the reach of this course to Early Childhood Education professionals, ensuring that the next generation of leaders and educators are equipped with the tools to create nurturing and inclusive learning environments. If you know an educator who needs Early Childhood Education continuing education, please recommend this course to them.

https://humanistlearning.com/behavioral-science-for-bullying-prevention-in-the-classroom/

Bullying Prevention and Elimination for Everyone Else.

Teaching people how to get unwanted behaviors to stop is a central part of what I teach. It's how Humanists approach problem solving, using science and compassion.

If you are a parent or a child who needs help with bullying and wants to learn this - all the materials on my website - The Bully Vaccine Project are free. No sign up required. https://bullyvaccineproject.com/

If you are in the workplace looking for professional development or training for your staff - I have many certified online courses that teach this behavioral approach to bullying and dealing with difficult people. https://humanistlearning.com/category/bullyingharassment/

Call to Action: Be the Catalyst for Change

The journey towards a bully-free world begins with each one of us. Here's how you can make a meaningful impact:

1. Embark on the Learning Path:

Enroll in our "Behavioral Science for Bullying Prevention" course today. Whether you're an educator, parent, or community member, this course equips you with the knowledge and tools to foster a culture of empathy and understanding. [Insert Enrollment Link]

2. Access Free Resources:

Explore our collection of free resources on effective bullying prevention strategies. From insightful articles to practical guides, empower yourself with actionable steps to stop bullying in its tracks. [Insert Free Resources Link]

3. Share the Knowledge:

The power of change multiplies when shared. Spread the word about the science-based approach to bullying prevention. Share our course and resources with your colleagues, friends, and community. Together, let's raise awareness and build a network of advocates for positive change.

4. Start Conversations:

Initiate conversations about humanistic leadership and the behavioral science approach to bullying prevention. Share your insights on social media, in your community gatherings, and within your professional networks. Education thrives in dialogue, and your voice can spark transformative discussions.

5. Ignite the Ripple Effect:

Every action you take has the potential to create a ripple effect. By embracing these principles, you become a catalyst for change. Inspire others to join the movement and contribute to a society where empathy and respect prevail.

Remember, the impact of your actions extends beyond individuals—it shapes the fabric of communities and influences the way we collectively approach and resolve conflicts. Be the change, and let's together pave the way for a world free from the shadows of bullying.

Stopping Bullying - Using Science and Psychology Today Essential Topic.

 In case you were not aware, I spend a lot of my time teaching people how to stop bullying using behavioral science.  And yes, it works. Actually, it's the only thing that does work. Science is like that. 

Anyway, I recently had the honor to speak at the World Anti-Bullying Forum. Which is a big deal. Here is my talk. It's 15 mins long and I cover the science and it's applicability to the problem of bullying. 

Psychology Today - Essential Topic

As a result of the conference, I ended up meeting a few people, which was hard to do as it was a virtual conference due to Covid surging pretty much everywhere.  One of the people who reached out was Izzy Kalman is a Nationally Certified School Psychologist who has been working in schools and private practice since 1978. You can find more about him at his website: https://bullies2buddies.com/

He ended up interviewing me for his blog over at Psychology Today. Psychology Today liked the article so much - they made listed it as an  "Essential Topic."  You can read the interview here. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/resilience-bullying/202201/dolphin-trainer-humanistic-bullying-expert

Learn More

My materials on this are available at: https://bullyvaccineproject.com/

Also, I have a lot of professional & personal development training that integrates this science and also offer sexual harassment training that - in addition to training about the law - educates people on how to use science to make unwanted behavior stop. 

https://humanistlearning.com/category/bullyingharassment/

Narcissism in the workplace

 Obviously narcissism is one of the dark triad personality traits. If you come across one, this is not fixable and should be removed from the office or isolated so they cannot do any harm.

The problem is, unless you are a psychologist and specifically their psychologist, you cannot diagnose them yourself. Which means, you should NOT assume that they are narcissist, even if they are exhibiting what appears to be narcissistic tendencies.

What should you do to a) protect yourself and b) expose them? 

I teach how to stop unwanted behavior like bullying and harassment using behavioral science techniques known as operant conditioning that I learned while training dolphins. Specifically, how to stop unwanted behavior using a technique that is called “extinguishing a behavior.”

I have dealt with psychopaths and other problematic personality types in the workplace successfully. The approach is not to expose them,  but to allow them to expose themselves.  I do this using excessive CYA documentation (cover you’re a$$).   Whenever I interact with them, I do so pleasantly and with the expectation that everything is above the board legit. Then I follow up and document absolutely every conversation. 

If I agree to do some work for them, I follow up with an email to ensure I understood the parameters of the work properly. Did they promise to get me some supplies I need, I email them to verify that we agreed to that. Everything, gets a documentation email. AND I cc either my boss of theirs or both depending on the situation.  

They are predictable

The great thing about dark triad personalities is they are EXTREMELY predictable. Don’t ever assume they won’t try to harm you. They will. So prepare for that and work around that. The simplest easiest way is to send well intentioned confirmation emails on every little thing.

If the person is not a narcissist, but has some other issue that you weren’t aware of, these emails with them being cc’d will probably straighten them up. Hopefully it will. And hopefully the person isn’t actually a narcissist.

But if they ARE a narcissist, they will get mad and escalate if you do this. That’s ok. That’s predicted to occur. Their illness makes them creatures of habit. They use confusion and hearsay to hide what they are doing and revel in the confusion and angst it causes others. When you document everything and confirm everything what you are doing is working to create clarity. In good faith. This clarity will remove their ability to hide and sow doubt and confusion. Basically, they will experience your work to create clarity as a loss of control. This will cause them to escalate and they will not be able to help themselves. Again, this is a disease, and they are not in control of it. 

As they escalate, their actions will become more overt and they will hide less and they will expose themselves. This is why you should cc your boss and their boss. And if they are your boss, definitely loop in their boss.  NEVER have a private conversation with them and ALWAYS document and make sure the upper level managers know what’s going on.  This will allow them to see that you are working hard to create clarity and help them see that the other person is the problem. 

The role of managers

At first, the managers will be a bit frustrated as they don’t like being brought in for what they think are interpersonal problems. But most managers are also aware that if they are being ccd in on something, it’s because something is wrong with the dynamic and they should pay attention and they will. They may be silent as they sit and watch, but they will.

As the narcissist becomes more overt as their ability to control the dynamic and cause confusion etc are removed, they will continue to escalate until they do something really inappropriate.  It is usually at this point that the managers start to intervene.

Your only job throughout this is to do a good job. Trying to create clarity in a confusing situation is doing a good job. Don’t lash out – ever. Don’t every accuse them of anything (unless they break a law or harass or discriminate, which is breaking a law). Just be professional and do your best to do a good job. If you do this, people will recognize it and the narcissist will expose themselves.  All you did was give them every opportunity to work professionally and collaboratively. If they don’t or in the case of a narcissist can’t work professionally and collaboratively, they will prove that through their actions.

This works most of the time.  Not every time, but most of the time. 

Learn more:

I have a course on how to prevent passive aggressive people from wreaking havoc in the workplace where I go into detail on this technique and provide real life examples of what this looks like.  If you are dealing with a suspected dark triad personality in the workplace, consider taking this course. 

More details and registration information at: https://humanistlearning.com/passiveaggressivepeople/ 

: Combining philosophy, science and education to create more diverse workforces.

Purpose: To move forward the discussion on how to use science, humanistic philosophy, and education to help workplaces reap the benefits of diverse workplaces while avoiding the problems caused by diversity.

Abstract:

This paper will discuss the benefits and challenges of employing a diverse workforce and discuss ways we can use behavioral science and humanistic philosophy to help businesses reap the benefits of a diverse workforce while avoiding the problems that arise when working with a group of diverse individuals, specifically focusing on how to use science to eliminate problems with discrimination, harassment and retaliation which make the creation of truly diverse workforces so difficult to achieve.

To successfully change corporate culture to be more inclusive, we need philosophy to provide people with adequate reasons why it benefits them personally to embrace a diverse workforce. This is a challenge that is best addressed through the use of humanistic philosophy. Once a work team has decided to embrace diversity, they then need to learn specific skills and techniques to defuse the conflicts that arise and how to effectively deal with harassment and discrimination so that all employees feel protected in the workgroup. These skills and techniques are best addressed by applying behavioral science techniques to the problem behaviors.

Discussion:

Diverse workforces benefit employers and employees[i], but attempts to create diverse workforces are hampered by a myriad of problems.

People coming from diverse backgrounds have different life experiences, different triggers, different world views, different assumptions and different goals. How we talk to one another respectfully and further, understand what is being said, is not always easy. We all have implicit biases[ii] that may prevent us from accurately perceiving the other person and their motives.

Our difficulty in seeing other people accurately and without bias is hampered by the fact that humans, as a species, are tribal animals. We instinctually feel safe around people we perceive to be like us and are frightened by those we perceive to be “other.” [iii] There are a variety of ways our tribal instincts can be triggered, but once they are triggered, creating a cohesive group out of diverse individuals becomes exponentially harder.

Humanistic philosophy can help us bridge those differences. It helps us bring the “other” person into a common tribe which helps us to override our tribal instincts so we can view the other person as “ethical.”  Humanism also provides us with a common moral language we can use to create consensus and resolve differences.

Diversity problems in the workplace manifest in a variety of ways and stem from a variety of causes. This is why diversity is such a “wicked” problem to solve.

A combination of humanistic philosophy and applied science can help us fix these problems so that we can reap the benefit of diverse workforces.

There are 3 major problems we need to solve to create diverse yet cohesive work groups. We need to hire more diverse workforces. We need to solve the problem of social exclusion that prevents diverse work groups from creating cohesion and leads to harassment and discrimination in the workplace. And we need to help people more effectively deal with and resolve disagreements so that our tribal instincts don’t kick in and turn what should be a rational disagreement into an irrational divisive conflict. 

The Challenge of overcoming implicit and explicit bias in personnel decisions.

We now know that our ability and willingness to hire diverse workforces is complicated by our implicit and sometimes explicit biases.[iv] We all have biases and that our biases impact our hiring decisions, firing decisions, promotion decisions and more. We cannot fix our diversity problem without better understanding of how implicit biases work so that we can take affirmative action and hire people we wouldn’t normally hire because of our biases. Otherwise biases will continue control hiring decisions and our businesses will suffer as a result.

Humanistic philosophy can help us work past our biases and science can help us develop techniques so that we can work to ensure our biases don’t negatively impact our personnel decisions.

The Challenge of Eliminating Social Exclusion

Social exclusion is the process in which individuals or people are systematically blocked from (or denied full access to) various rights, opportunities and resources that are normally available to members of a different group, the “ingroup.”

Social exclusion can happen for a variety of reasons. Sometimes it’s a result of bias, but it can also be a result of competition for resources in the workplace where individuals may dehumanize their co-workers through bullying, a technique that helps them gain access to resources and minimize the influence their target has in the workplace.

For example: social exclusion appears to be the main aim of workplace bullying or harassment. Evolutionary psychologists[v] have shown that bullying is adaptive behavior. Bullying can be thought of as a tool of group control.  People who can control access to a group through social inclusion and exclusion wield a lot of power.

Humans have an instinctual need to “belong” to ingroups and exclusion is felt as physical pain[vi]. Our instinctual fear of being socially ostracized allows bullies to manipulate group dynamics and control them. The bully might not be biased against their target, they are merely using the threat of social exclusion to control a group. They do this by marking their target tribally as “other” to encourage social exclusion of the target. Anyone who is perceived as different can be marked as “other” this way. Since no one wants to be excluded, our instinct is to seek inclusion in the form of currying the favor of the person perceived to have the power to include or exclude people from the group.

To create a diverse yet cohesive workgroup, social exclusion cannot be tolerated. The challenge is how to make social exclusion behavior stop. Currently 152 countries have laws prohibiting discrimination in the workplace. Several countries and state jurisdictions mandate harassment training and yet, harassment and discrimination continue, and vulnerable people are excluded from our workplaces as a result. Laws prohibiting discrimination are not enough.

Solving this problem will require a combination of humanistic philosophy and behavioral science. Humanistic philosophy will help us resist efforts by bullies to marginalize and label people as “other.” Behavioral science will help us extinguish the unwanted exclusionary behavior. 

Scientists have known for decades how to stop unwanted behavior including exclusionary behavior, like bullying and harassment.  Specifically, the science of behavioral extinction not only explains why attempts to stop this behavior results in an escalation of behavior otherwise known as retaliation, but it provides us with the tools we need to get it to stop. We need to start applying these techniques to the problem of bullying, harassment and discrimination in the workplace so that diverse individuals are no longer subjected to social exclusion in the workplace.

The challenge of De-Escalating Conflicts to maintain group cohesion

Diverse workgroups means that there is diversity of opinion. Problem solving is never an easy task. People with different skills sets, knowledge bases and experience, approach problem solving differently. This can lead to disagreements that if they remain unresolved, can cause conflict.

When we find ourselves in conflict our tribal biases kick in making resolution of the disagreement harder. Unfortunately, some people have learned that if they use bullying and/or aggression to stigmatize the other person, it increases the chances of their viewpoints being adopted. This technique, while a successful strategy for the person employing it, negatively impacts the problem-solving process and is experienced as harassment and discrimination by the person on the receiving end of this sort of bullying behavior.

Thomas and Killman describe five approaches humans take to resolving conflict.[vii] Two of these approaches are considered counterproductive. The three remaining ones form the basis of most of the advice on how to resolve conflicts.

The first step in any conflict management program is to attempt to get both sides to see each other as part of the same tribe so that the tribal aggression and defenses that are preventing rational discussion from taking place are eliminated. Humanistic philosophy is essential to this effort.

Humanism can also help us develop communication strategies to help us find common ground in the problem-solving process and to resolve disagreements by using a shared set of values and moral approach.

Science should also be employed. We can use the same behavioral techniques we use to eliminate bullying and harassment to de-escalate conflict behavior to set the stage for humanistic communication strategies to take root. We can also use what is learned from sociology on group dynamics and decision making to help us better manage disagreements so that they don’t devolve into conflict. The goal is to help teams focus on collaborative problem solving as a team instead of allowing the team to fracture into warring tribes.

Transformative approach

Philosophy on its own is not enough and science on its own is not enough. Combining philosophy, science and education can create positive social change in corporate culture

Humanistic philosophy helps us tweak our thinking so that we can overcome our biases, see our colleagues as members of our in-group/tribe and encourages us to be compassionate and patient with them when disagreements arise. It also provides us with the motivation and the knowledge we need to resist attempts by bullies to manipulate us through social exclusion.

Science can provide us with a complimentary toolset needed to resist our biases so they no longer control our decision making processes. We can use behavioral science strategies to establish new cultural norms that reinforce respectful behavior in the workplace and collaborative problem solving. We can also use behavioral science to help eliminate social exclusionary behavior that prevents diverse work groups from becoming cohesive.

A holistic approach that combines the best of humanistic philosophy with applied science can help us transform our approach so that the promise of social inclusion becomes a reality.

           

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[i] Etsy et al (1995), Workplace Diversity. Retrieved from https://books.google.com/books?hl=en&lr=&id=463sHfdf2S8C&oi=fnd&pg=PR9&dq=diversity+workplace+benefits&ots=atqCefpmBw&sig=I8MkKtDg_mfbfLrCX-ORCKemZS8

[ii] Greenwald et al (1995), Implicit social cognition: Attitudes, self-esteem, and stereotypes.  Retrieved from http://psycnet.apa.org/record/1995-17407-001

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[iv] Catherine Ellis (1994), Diverse approaches to managing diversity. Retrieved from http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1002/hrm.3930330106/full

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[vi] G. Novembre, M. Zanon, G. Silani. (2014), Empathy for social exclusion involves the sensory-discriminative component of pain: a within-subject fMRI study. Social Cognitive and Affective Neuroscience. Retrieved from https://academic.oup.com/scan/article/10/2/153/1652379  

[vii] Kenneth W. Thomas and Ralph H. Kilmann (2015), An Overview of the Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument (TKI). Retrieved from http://www.kilmanndiagnostics.com/overview-thomas-kilmann-conflict-mode-instrument-tki