Showing posts with label science. Show all posts
Showing posts with label science. Show all posts

Maintain Your Dignity and Grace While Dealing with Difficult People

 Imaging if you could deal with difficult people – effectively, with dignity and grace and love in your heart. You can – if you use reason and science. 

I like to joke that I'm a Humanist, which means, I like people in the abstract. Real people annoy me.  Most people can relate to that as most of us - like people mostly, but don't like dealing with difficult people. 

No one likes dealing with difficult people. Not even difficult people.  

I'm going to let you in on a little secret. I've trained a lot of people. Some people are ordered by courts to take my courses because, they were found guilty of harassing someone. I also get called in to do group trainings in offices where - they have a difficult person and are hoping my training will help them make their difficult person less difficult. 

Those people deemed "difficult" by others, love my training. Not just because I treat them with dignity, but because I teach them how to deal with difficult people while maintaining their own dignity. And that was their problem. They were dealing with the difficult people in their lives badly. 

I don't assume that someone is difficult just because someone told me they were. What I've learned is that often the most difficult people are themselves being victimized by other difficult people. Think of this as a vicious cycle where indignity breeds more indignity. 

The fix is to replace the vicious cycle with a virtuous one.  Teach people how to respond to indignity with dignity. And yes, this works. It not only works, it's pretty much the only thing that does. And yes, we have science to back that up.

The next time you encounter a difficult person, respond with dignity by treating them with dignity. Most of the time, this turns what was a fight, into an assist because that difficult person, was really a person who was struggling to have their dignity validated. 

Does this always work? No. But ... in those cases, responding with dignity will help you - fix the problem in other ways by helping to make it clear - where the problem really lies.

For parents, you know when your kids are fighting, it is impossible to tell who started the fight and really - it doesn't matter who started the fight. When you respond with dignity, you are refusing to fight and that makes it easier for managers to see what is really going on.

Ok - so this was a quick - high level overview. I realize most of you probably have a bunch of questions about how to do this in reality and how this really works.  I get that. 

If you want to learn more - I recommend my course on civility and dignity in the workplace - https://humanistlearning.com/a-humanistic-approach-to-civility/ 

I also offer a variety of courses that teach about how the science of how to get someone to stop harassing you works. https://humanistlearning.com/category/bullyingharassment/






Humanistic Leadership and Science

 At a recent presentation on humanistic leadership, I was asked about why I connect humanistic leadership and science so strongly.  Why is science central to the practice of humanistic leadership.



The answer is that in order to do good things, we can't just want to do good. We have to know how to effectively solve our problems. And to do that, we have to a) know what really causes our problem - instead of assuming what the cause is and b) we have to know what really works to solve the real causes of our problem instead of assuming we know.

To know what is real, we need science. 

Without that, we are adrift, or worse, dead.  

We are currently dealing with a labor shortage. What is causing that labor shortage? I honestly don't know. What I do know is that most people's assumptions are driven by their political biases and not by the science, and this goes for people across the spectrum. 

I also know that unless we deal with the real root cause of our problems, and there appear to be many, we not only won't fix the problem, we will probably make the problem worse. If I was tasked with fixing this problem, I would first, look at the research that has been done on what is causing our current problem. #science.

We are also dealing with a pandemic. How does this disease spread, how can we prevent it's spread. There is a tremendous amount of disinformation and misinformation being spread and again, a lot of that is based on political biases. None of us are immune to making assumptions about root causes. A scientific mindset helps us all, override our biases and look for reality that might contradict our beliefs.

The reason science is necessary is because, if you want to run a business and keep your employees safe and productive and not have them die on you or hospitalized - which does cause labor shortages, you need science.  And yes, this is a real problem. My county has told us our trash pickups will be delayed because employees are sick. My county government, literally, no longer has a functioning IT department because of the six staff members, 2 died, and 3 were hospitalized. Only 1 person is in our IT department is able to work. COVID literally wiped out our entire IT department in one week. 

Science is critical to operating a functioning business because functioning businesses require staff to be able to work. And for that - they need to be alive and NOT in the hospital.  We all need to understand the science and not just make assumptions about what is real or not. This doesn't just apply to the topic of covid, but - everything. 

One of the big problems I see locally is that leaders are unhappy with reality so they have declared that they are going to act as IF their preferred reality was true in the hopes that pretending it's true will make it true.  They are acting as IF the pandemic wasn't a reality. This will not work. You can't just wish away an unpleasant reality like a pandemic. You either deal with it constructively using science, or ... we all end up with more dead people, more hospitalized people and more disruption to - everything. 

I understand optimism. I'm a huge fan of optimism. You have to believe you can make things better to even try.  And a big part of that - is having a vision of what you want to see happen. My local government leaders don't lack for vision. They have a great vision. They want the pandemic to be over. So do I. But pretending it's over when it isn't - isn't going to magically make it go away. Pretending it's over when we are currently experiencing exponential growth of a deadly disease and disruptions to our work force as people end up in the hospital and some die, isn't effective leadership. It's insane leadership. It's deadly leadership. True, it's optimistic leadership, but it's not reality based leadership.  To fix our problems with a minimal amount of death and destruction, we need both optimism and SCIENCE! 

We simply can't fix our problems, whatever they are, without science.  We need to accept reality instead of wishing it away.

Good leaders do more than have vision. They plan for reality and science based plans to fix reality so that the outcome they want - actually happens. We ignore reality at our own peril. #Science is central.

Dealing with Difficult People - with love in your heart

When I talk about Humanistic Leadership and Management, I talk about love. This can throw people because very few people think about love in business and when they do, they are often thinking of porn and not love as a business practice.


But let me ask you a question.  How would you change your professional relationships if you approach them with love in your heart?  How would you change your strategies if you approached them with love in your heart?  How would you deal with difficult people if you approached the problem, with love in your heart?

Love is a powerful philosophic approach. It helps give moral clarity and define what ideally should be happening.   

Love isn't just about romance. It is also about passion and compassion.  Thinking about what you value helps you make better decisions and behave better. 

So imagine if you could deal with difficult people – effectively, with dignity and grace and love in your heart. You can – if you use reason and science.  I have been teaching people how to do this for years now. I assure you, you cannot implement the science of how to deal with difficult people, unless you approach them with love and compassion.

Yes, this works. No, it's not crazy. I live this in my daily life and I assure you, it has a profound impact on everything I do.

Want me to teach you more? Here are courses on how to deal with difficult people and improve your interpersonal relationships: https://humanistlearning.com/category/bullyingharassment/


In particular I recommend, how to deal with passive aggressive people. This course will help you better understand the connection between a loving mindset and the science. https://humanistlearning.com/passiveaggressivepeople/

: Combining philosophy, science and education to create more diverse workforces.


Purpose: To move forward the discussion on how to use science, humanistic philosophy, and education to help workplaces reap the benefits of diverse workplaces while avoiding the problems caused by diversity.


Abstract:

This paper will discuss the benefits and challenges of employing a diverse workforce and discuss ways we can use behavioral science and humanistic philosophy to help businesses reap the benefits of a diverse workforce while avoiding the problems that arise when working with a group of diverse individuals, specifically focusing on how to use science to eliminate problems with discrimination, harassment and retaliation which make the creation of truly diverse workforces so difficult to achieve.

To successfully change corporate culture to be more inclusive, we need philosophy to provide people with adequate reasons why it benefits them personally to embrace a diverse workforce. This is a challenge that is best addressed through the use of humanistic philosophy. Once a work team has decided to embrace diversity, they then need to learn specific skills and techniques to defuse the conflicts that arise and how to effectively deal with harassment and discrimination so that all employees feel protected in the workgroup. These skills and techniques are best addressed by applying behavioral science techniques to the problem behaviors.


Discussion:

Diverse workforces benefit employers and employees[i], but attempts to create diverse workforces are hampered by a myriad of problems.

People coming from diverse backgrounds have different life experiences, different triggers, different world views, different assumptions and different goals. How we talk to one another respectfully and further, understand what is being said, is not always easy. We all have implicit biases[ii] that may prevent us from accurately perceiving the other person and their motives.

Our difficulty in seeing other people accurately and without bias is hampered by the fact that humans, as a species, are tribal animals. We instinctually feel safe around people we perceive to be like us and are frightened by those we perceive to be “other.” [iii] There are a variety of ways our tribal instincts can be triggered, but once they are triggered, creating a cohesive group out of diverse individuals becomes exponentially harder.

Humanistic philosophy can help us bridge those differences. It helps us bring the “other” person into a common tribe which helps us to override our tribal instincts so we can view the other person as “ethical.”  Humanism also provides us with a common moral language we can use to create consensus and resolve differences.
Diversity problems in the workplace manifest in a variety of ways and stem from a variety of causes. This is why diversity is such a “wicked” problem to solve.
A combination of humanistic philosophy and applied science can help us fix these problems so that we can reap the benefit of diverse workforces.

There are 3 major problems we need to solve to create diverse yet cohesive work groups. We need to hire more diverse workforces. We need to solve the problem of social exclusion that prevents diverse work groups from creating cohesion and leads to harassment and discrimination in the workplace. And we need to help people more effectively deal with and resolve disagreements so that our tribal instincts don’t kick in and turn what should be a rational disagreement into an irrational divisive conflict. 

The Challenge of overcoming implicit and explicit bias in personnel decisions.

We now know that our ability and willingness to hire diverse workforces is complicated by our implicit and sometimes explicit biases.[iv] We all have biases and that our biases impact our hiring decisions, firing decisions, promotion decisions and more. We cannot fix our diversity problem without better understanding of how implicit biases work so that we can take affirmative action and hire people we wouldn’t normally hire because of our biases. Otherwise biases will continue control hiring decisions and our businesses will suffer as a result.

Humanistic philosophy can help us work past our biases and science can help us develop techniques so that we can work to ensure our biases don’t negatively impact our personnel decisions.

The Challenge of Eliminating Social Exclusion


Social exclusion is the process in which individuals or people are systematically blocked from (or denied full access to) various rights, opportunities and resources that are normally available to members of a different group, the “ingroup.”

Social exclusion can happen for a variety of reasons. Sometimes it’s a result of bias, but it can also be a result of competition for resources in the workplace where individuals may dehumanize their co-workers through bullying, a technique that helps them gain access to resources and minimize the influence their target has in the workplace.

For example: social exclusion appears to be the main aim of workplace bullying or harassment. Evolutionary psychologists[v] have shown that bullying is adaptive behavior. Bullying can be thought of as a tool of group control.  People who can control access to a group through social inclusion and exclusion wield a lot of power.

Humans have an instinctual need to “belong” to ingroups and exclusion is felt as physical pain[vi]. Our instinctual fear of being socially ostracized allows bullies to manipulate group dynamics and control them. The bully might not be biased against their target, they are merely using the threat of social exclusion to control a group. They do this by marking their target tribally as “other” to encourage social exclusion of the target. Anyone who is perceived as different can be marked as “other” this way. Since no one wants to be excluded, our instinct is to seek inclusion in the form of currying the favor of the person perceived to have the power to include or exclude people from the group.

To create a diverse yet cohesive workgroup, social exclusion cannot be tolerated. The challenge is how to make social exclusion behavior stop. Currently 152 countries have laws prohibiting discrimination in the workplace. Several countries and state jurisdictions mandate harassment training and yet, harassment and discrimination continue, and vulnerable people are excluded from our workplaces as a result. Laws prohibiting discrimination are not enough.

Solving this problem will require a combination of humanistic philosophy and behavioral science. Humanistic philosophy will help us resist efforts by bullies to marginalize and label people as “other.” Behavioral science will help us extinguish the unwanted exclusionary behavior. 

Scientists have known for decades how to stop unwanted behavior including exclusionary behavior, like bullying and harassment.  Specifically, the science of behavioral extinction not only explains why attempts to stop this behavior results in an escalation of behavior otherwise known as retaliation, but it provides us with the tools we need to get it to stop. We need to start applying these techniques to the problem of bullying, harassment and discrimination in the workplace so that diverse individuals are no longer subjected to social exclusion in the workplace.

The challenge of De-Escalating Conflicts to maintain group cohesion


Diverse workgroups means that there is diversity of opinion. Problem solving is never an easy task. People with different skills sets, knowledge bases and experience, approach problem solving differently. This can lead to disagreements that if they remain unresolved, can cause conflict.
When we find ourselves in conflict our tribal biases kick in making resolution of the disagreement harder. Unfortunately, some people have learned that if they use bullying and/or aggression to stigmatize the other person, it increases the chances of their viewpoints being adopted. This technique, while a successful strategy for the person employing it, negatively impacts the problem-solving process and is experienced as harassment and discrimination by the person on the receiving end of this sort of bullying behavior.

Thomas and Killman describe five approaches humans take to resolving conflict.[vii] Two of these approaches are considered counterproductive. The three remaining ones form the basis of most of the advice on how to resolve conflicts.

The first step in any conflict management program is to attempt to get both sides to see each other as part of the same tribe so that the tribal aggression and defenses that are preventing rational discussion from taking place are eliminated. Humanistic philosophy is essential to this effort.
Humanism can also help us develop communication strategies to help us find common ground in the problem-solving process and to resolve disagreements by using a shared set of values and moral approach.

Science should also be employed. We can use the same behavioral techniques we use to eliminate bullying and harassment to de-escalate conflict behavior to set the stage for humanistic communication strategies to take root. We can also use what is learned from sociology on group dynamics and decision making to help us better manage disagreements so that they don’t devolve into conflict. The goal is to help teams focus on collaborative problem solving as a team instead of allowing the team to fracture into warring tribes.

Transformative approach


Philosophy on its own is not enough and science on its own is not enough. Combining philosophy, science and education can create positive social change in corporate culture

Humanistic philosophy helps us tweak our thinking so that we can overcome our biases, see our colleagues as members of our in-group/tribe and encourages us to be compassionate and patient with them when disagreements arise. It also provides us with the motivation and the knowledge we need to resist attempts by bullies to manipulate us through social exclusion.

Science can provide us with a complimentary toolset needed to resist our biases so they no longer control our decision making processes. We can use behavioral science strategies to establish new cultural norms that reinforce respectful behavior in the workplace and collaborative problem solving. We can also use behavioral science to help eliminate social exclusionary behavior that prevents diverse work groups from becoming cohesive.

A holistic approach that combines the best of humanistic philosophy with applied science can help us transform our approach so that the promise of social inclusion becomes a reality.

           


[ii] Greenwald et al (1995), Implicit social cognition: Attitudes, self-esteem, and stereotypes.  Retrieved from http://psycnet.apa.org/record/1995-17407-001
[iii] Daniel Druckman (1994), Nationalism, Patriotism, and Group Loyalty: A Social Psychological Perspective. Retrieved from https://academic.oup.com/isr/article-abstract/38/Supplement_1/43/1813806
[iv] Catherine Ellis (1994), Diverse approaches to managing diversity. Retrieved from http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1002/hrm.3930330106/full
[v] Kevin MacDonald (1996) What do Children Want? A Conceptualisation of Evolutionary Influences on Children's Motivation in the Peer Group. Retrieved from http://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/016502549601900105
[vi] G. Novembre, M. Zanon, G. Silani. (2014), Empathy for social exclusion involves the sensory-discriminative component of pain: a within-subject fMRI study. Social Cognitive and Affective Neuroscience. Retrieved from https://academic.oup.com/scan/article/10/2/153/1652379  
[vii] Kenneth W. Thomas and Ralph H. Kilmann (2015), An Overview of the Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument (TKI). Retrieved from http://www.kilmanndiagnostics.com/overview-thomas-kilmann-conflict-mode-instrument-tki



Problems with Change Management

There are reasons why people resist change and techniques to help them adjust. Science really can help us be more successful.

I have helped organizations – both non-profit and for profit – through change processes. I’ve helped nonprofit with toxic volunteer employee relations build a thriving volunteer program spanning several departments. I’ve helped redesign business processes for a 1/2 billion dollar company so that our acquisition team could close 8 deals a week instead of the 2 per month we had been doing. And, I’ve got a background in behavioral psychology to understand why people resist change and how to help them overcome it.

Here are 3 reasons why change processes fail and how to fix them.

1. Not understanding that change requires unlearning and unlearning follows a very predictable process.  If we are going to change something, it means that we are doing something now and we want to do it differently. That means giving up the old way and adopting the new way. For a behaviorist – this means – unlearning. All unlearning follows a pattern. Understand what that pattern is and how to trigger it  - and you can more easily control the process.

2. Not understanding that resistance to change doesn’t mean rejection of change.  Resistance to change is instinctual. We are asking people to unlearn habits and habits are hard to change, even for people who want to change. The resistance that occurs isn’t necessarily a rejection of the new processes. It’s really just an instinctual inability to let go of old habits. This manifests as all sorts of cranky behavior by the team, but it’s predicted to occur so there is no reason to get worked up about it.

3. Taking the resistance to change personally. The number of managers I’ve heard blame the employees for not understanding the brilliant ideas behind the change request  is stunning. People insert a LOT of ego into their efforts and take it personally when they experience resistance. Good managers understand how to help employees through that and the ones that succeed – get their egos out of the way and focus on helping their staff cope with the stress that is – change.

Hope this helps. I teach an online course on this. Why is Change so Hard https://humanistlearning.com/change1/ – which discusses the behavioral dynamic playing out and how behaviorists trigger and control the process.

Using science & philosophy to create a happier workplace.

I was recently invited to speak in India at the Happy Workplace conclave organized by Mukund Trivedy at Straight Drive. It was an excellent conclave. Really inspiring actually. So inspiring, I totally changed up what I was planning to talk about and I spoke from the heart. I'm told that people felt I was speaking as an Indian as the issues we face are common human problems everywhere.

Here is the video of my talk.  I spoke on how to use humanistic philosophy and science to actually create happier workplaces.


Creating happier more inclusive workplaces benefit business because they improve problem solving and as I said in my speech, all businesses are in the business of solving problems. If they aren't, they aren't in business for long.

The challenge is how do we actually create happier more inclusive workplaces when we humans are wired to be ... tribal. The answer is by using science to help us understand our own behavioral responses and to help us improve the behavior of our teams and to create cultural change within our organizations and in society in general.

Let me know what you think of my talk.

Here are some links for you: 



How to read and understand a scientific paper

Scientific Literacy is required for citizenship. We cannot understand the proposals to fix our problems if we can’t tell what is true and what isn’t.


Science is a methodology. It’s about trying to figure out what is objectively true. To do that scientists use various methods to try and test for what really is happening and account for bias and other things that might be impacting whatever it is they are looking at.  Some scientists do this better than others.
This is why scientists submit their work to peer review and everyone else in their field critiques their work looking for problems. It seems adversarial, but, we all have biases and we all miss things and having other people double checking our work for mistakes helps catch mistakes. This is a good thing and something we all should welcome.

When something is reported in the news, journalists and others report what the study says. But what happens if the journalist isn’t scientifically literate? Or the editor has biases and wants a big splashy headline?  When that happens, the headlines may not be supported by the paper or the findings.

Because our lives literally depend on science it’s important that we become scientifically literate, meaning we must all learn how to read reports and papers and make judgements about whether what they are claiming is likely. We need to learn to be skeptical. In other words, we need to learn to think like a scientist, and look for reasons why the study doesn’t say what it purports to say.

I am linking to an article about how to read and understand a scientific paper for non-scientists. http://blogs.lse.ac.uk/impactofsocialsciences/2016/05/09/how-to-read-and-understand-a-scientific-paper-a-guide-for-non-scientists/

First things first. Get the actual paper. If you are reading an article about a study – link through to the study. Eventually you will get to a pdf put out by the scientist or their university.  It will look something like this: https://cyber.harvard.edu/publications/2017/08/mediacloud

On this page – you should be able to download the entire paper or read the summary and introduction, methods used and key takeaways. If the key takeaways are different from reported, congratulations, you’ve passed step one.

Next, look for caveats to the findings. Scientists will always tell you what the limits of their findings are and how they aren’t valid in all sorts of situations they didn’t control for. Knowing what this paper doesn’t say – is useful and will help prevent you from believing the hype about whatever the paper is about.

Now, read the article. Yes, they are long. Yes, they use all sorts of terms that may seem complicated. But, you won’t be able to tell whether you agree with their conclusions if you don’t. And, they are often very fascinating because of things that are down deep in the data. For instance, the paper I linked to makes claims at the top that seem a bit outrageous, but as you read through and realize how they got there-  it makes sense.

If you aren’t sure whether a method used by the researchers is problematic – go and look for critiques. Not political critiques, scientific critiques. Politicians try to debunk science they don’t like all the time. They may be correct, but they may not be. Often, they are just spouting propaganda -and cherry picking the evidence. You want to know what is true and whether you can trust the politician so find out what other actual scientists say and remain skeptical.

Good luck – our society depends on all of us getting this right.


Keeping up with sex

Don’t judge yourself by others – especially when it comes to sex.

I wanted to address this because I get asked about it a lot. when it comes to our sexuality and sexual express, we humans do a lot of comparing and contrasting. Are we attractive? How much sex do we get? How much should we get? How much are they getting? How come everyone is having sex but me? Is there something wrong with me if I am not interested in sex?

I am not a psychologist – so I can’t answer those questions for you. What I can tell you is that from a Humanist perspective – worrying about sex seems really counterproductive. Normal – but counterproductive. Why? Because everyone is different. Everyone has different likes and desires and libidos and biology. I know my own desire rises and falls with my monthly cycle. To me – that seems pretty normal.  It’s a cycle.

To give you a better perspective on how Humanists think about sex, I’m including a link to the Sexual Bill of Rights and Responsibilities published by the American Humanist Association back in the 1970s to give you an idea of our philosophic orientation to the subject. http://aldeilis.net/english/a-new-bill-of-sexual-rights-and-responsibilities/

We are very lucky to live in a time where prohibitions about sex are minimal - or at least a lot less than it used to be though – apparently the free world is still worried about what women wear to the beach (Burkini’s are causing an uproar!).   What this also means though is that we get a lot more information than we used to about how other people do sex and relate to sex and have sex and how many people they are having sex with.

And then there is porn, which may or may not depict realistic scenarios about how people come to engage in sex and what people may or may not like while having sex. In other words, most of what consider porn is a form of fiction. Which is fine as far as it goes.

A lot of our worry has to do with knowing what is normal for sex. And that is something that science can help you with.   So – to get you started, I’m going to link you to some resources from Marty Klein, a Humanist who also happens to be a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist and Certified Sex Therapist. He is considered an expert in the field and has aimed his entire career toward a single set of goals: telling the truth about sexuality, helping people feel sexually adequate & powerful, and supporting the healthy sexual expression and exploration of women and men.




Truth and Lies


Came across this graphic the other day.  “The only people mad at you for speaking the truth are those who are living a lie. Keep speaking it.”  Being a Humanist and a natural born thinker, my first thought was yeah, but how do you know if you are speaking the truth or not.  Maybe you are the one who is speaking a lie and you just think it’s the truth. and the reason everyone else is mad at you is because you refuse to embrace reality and you are causing all sorts of problems as a result.

Humanists are naturally skeptical. I realize this graphic is meant to inspire people to keep pushing when they think they are right. But we Humanists prefer to actually be right. So, the first thing we do when we encounter opposition to our ideas is not to assume we are on the right track because people are mad. But to find out WHY people are mad at us in the first place. Again, don’t assume you know. You could be wrong.

image: freedigitalphotos.net
It is only after a humbling bit of soul searching, self-reflection of our motives to ensure we aren’t deluding ourselves combined with quite a bit of research to find out if we have our facts straight or not that we can move forward, assuming that we found out that we were indeed right all along. 

So yes, people do get mad at people who speak the truth. But before you assume that you are speaking the truth, double check to  make sure you aren’t actually repeating a damaging lie

Happiness Experts

I was contacted by Online College Courses who said they created an article on happiness experts because they like my blog so much.  Being a college related site, the lists consists of actual scientists who have done work in the field of happiness. (So no, I'm not on the list - not a scientist, just a practitioner).

(Note - Online College Courses asked me to remove the link as of June 1 2013 - so I can no longer share the link with you. which makes me unhappy because it was a cool article)

Regardless, the list had some great information about the science of how to be happy and that just goes to show, it's not just me spouting off motivational quotes. There is some real science behind it. Here are my favorites from the list:

1) Seligman - father of positive psychology - not only does his studies encourage us to focus on our joys, but apparently, what is more important than happiness is a personal belief that you are accomplishing something important. You need to have worthwhile goals to be happy.

3) Diener - he found that college students that are the most happy, have a strong support system of family and friends. So be sure to be good to the people who matter to you.

6) Csikszentmihalyi - A hungarian psychologist - apparently finding meaningful work that is challenging to you and working at it helps make you happy. You can't just think happy thoughts, you need to take constructive action to be happy.

7) Veenhoven - he's the guy who created the world database of happiness - check it out: http://www1.eur.nl/fsw/happiness/

So, to summarize, what we know from science is that to be happy, you need good strong positive relationships and you need to have meaningful work that you actually work at.

(Image from the Online College Course Blog)

The Science of Compassion


It turns out that when I advocate that you cultivate an attitude of compassion in your daily life and with the real live people you encounter throughout your day, I’m not just making it up.  There is actual bona fide science behind it.

The New York Times published a review of some recent research and here is what they found.
  • Feeling compassion for one person helps you feel compassion for all people. Compassion feeds on itself. The more you feel, the more you feel and the easier it gets.
  • The way to feel compassion is to recognize what you have in common with other people.  Which means, the more human other people are to you, the more compassion you will feel for them.

 The conclusion of the article is that: “Simply learning to mentally re-categorize one another in terms of commonalities would generate greater empathy among all of us — and foster social harmony in a fairly effortless way.”


Image Happy Teens" by Louisa Stokes: FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Overcoming fear with science


Image: FreeDigitalPhotos.net

The emotion of fear is always negative.  Our responses to fear were learned early in life as hand-me-downs, by imitating fearful, ignorant, superstitious people.  If fear is such a powerful force, why do we teach fear to our children?  Fear and ignorance are sort of like the chicken and the egg-which came first.  We fear what we don't understand and we don't understand what we fear.  Irrational responses to fear are very common. 

I remember an incident years ago that demonstrates that fear is learned.  I was visiting a friend one weekend and, while he was tending the bar-b-que, his 4 year old girl started screaming in the bathroom.  I hurried to the doorway and found her sitting on the floor screaming, looking at her finger bleed.  She was terrified!  Apparently, she had never before consciously experienced bleeding.

Rather than make a big fuss over it (I could see it was only a minor wound), I stopped, smiled and said, "I see you sprang a leak."  She immediately became silent and bewildered.  I then asked, "What do you do when you see a leak in your garden hose?"  She put her finger over the leak.  "That's right," I said.  "Hold your finger on it for a couple of minutes and it will stop bleeding."

She then started giggling, got up and ran to her mother in the kitchen shouting, "Look Momma, I sprang a leak." That little girl reacted to a new situation, in which she sensed danger, in much the same way motion pictures and TV shows portray emotional reactions to bloody injuries - by screaming.  But once she better understood the situation was a normal occurrence and there was little danger, her whole emotional response changed from fear to the joy of enlightenment.

Many of the fears children learn, they learn by default.  The parents don't attempt to explain the natural world in a scientific sense, either because they don't (or won't) make the time or don't know themselves.  If children are not encouraged to think at a very early age, through the use of science and the scientific method, their emotions will easily be controlled by others later in life because of their ignorance.  A keen interest in the nature of things - science - sets the foundation to emotional responses. Scientific knowledge and skepticism deflate erratic emotional responses simply by removing the anxiety of doubt and fear of the unknown.

Perhaps, sometime in the future, emotions will become based more on knowledge than ignorance; reason than fear.  Emotions will then become a positive constructive influence instead of the negative, destructive influence it seems to be today.

Guest post by Frank Prahl (Excerpted from his essay Reason, Emotion and Humanism). Frank is a Journalism graduate of the University of Houston; Past president of the Humanists of Houston and later, Humanists Involved in Greater Houston and has been a Humanist Advocate for more than 15 years. 

How being less wrong is actually right


Our earth is not exactly a sphere
photo: NASA
I was teaching a class on critical thinking yesterday and the discussion afterwards was great.  As I was driving home though, I started to think about the basic problem of figuring out what is true and what is false: which is the point of critical thinking after all. And I think this is what trips up a lot of people. Most people just want to know what is true and what isn’t. And they get frustrated when scientists say – we figured it out this time, only to learn a few years later, that they really hadn’t gotten it right at all.

And this reminded me of an essay by Isaac Asimov titled “The Relativity of Wrong.”  You see, a scientific mindset is actually just judging theories as right or wrong on a sliding scale.  The question a scientist is asking isn’t, are we absolutely right?  The question they are asking is, are we less wrong then we were before?

The example Asimov gives is how our knowledge of the earth has evolved as we have learned more and more.  At first people thought the earth was flat – and even though they were wrong, it didn’t really impact anyone because for all intents and purposes, it is, from a single person living on the surface of the earth’s perspective.  Then we realized it was a sphere (which isn’t entirely correct either but it is clearly less wrong than the previous view).  Then people realized they got the size of the earth wrong and it is actually bigger than they had originally thought. Again, this is still wrong, but not as wrong as they had been before.  And now we know that technically the earth isn’t even a sphere – it apparently has some bulges in the middle. So again, no scientist would say we have it figured out now for sure, all they are doing is making our understanding of the planet we live on less wrong which makes us more right than we were before.

Why does this matter? Well, because, when it comes to solving problems it is important to accept that your knowledge is never going to be perfect and that you need to figure out a solution to your problem anyway.  At some point, you need to act and do the best you can.  To quote Thoreau “The only obligation which I have a right to assume is to do at any time what I think is right.”

Learning about Evolution

Learning about Evolution is important. Not only because it is important to be scientifically literate, but also because Evolution is a unifying concept in science. Scientific disciplines with a historical component, such as astronomy, geology, biology, and anthropology, cannot be taught without a clear understanding of Evolution. Further, nothing in biology makes sense without the context of Evolution and a clear understanding of Evolutionary biology is critical to our ability to fight diseases. As an added bonus viewing biology through the lens of Evolution is not only intellectually satisfying, it is downright inspiring.

If you want an update on exactly what the current state of science is on evolution, I recommend Your Inner Fish by Neil Shubin. A friend of mine who teaches high school biology recommended this book to me. It is an excellent book. It is easy to read and really interesting. If you were in school anytime before 2000, this book will help bring you up to date on not only the evidence for evolution, but also what science is capable of now.

If you are on the fence about Evolution or are confused about what Evolution is and why scientists are SOOOOO adamant it be taught, this book will help answer your questions. Your Inner Fish tells the story of how the author found a missing link fossil (fish to amphibian) two years ago. It ranges through a variety of disciplines explaining how each field is tied to the others. The evidence for Evolution is overwhelming. How anyone could deny the evidence after reading this book is beyond me.

Logic Matters

Recently O'Reilly had Richard Dawkins on to discuss his new book which is about evolution. Now, I don't normally watch O'Reilly but this clip is amazing in the illogic O'Reilly uses to debate . I am posting the clip here because I think it provides an excellent example of why logic should be taught in the schools. It is important for people to learn how to discern between valid and invalid arguments because otherwise there is no good way to determine truth. And if you can't determine who is telling the truth, then you are a sucker just waiting to be taken advantage of. Anyway - here is the clip.


What is amazing about this clip is that O'Reilly doesn't say a single logical thing. NONE of his arguments follow standard rules of logic. NONE! Mostly, he uses what is called a non-sequitor. (A=C so therefore unrelated X is somehow true) In this instance, Science doesn't have the answers to everything (a=c) so therefore there must be a flying spaghetti monster or god (X= true). He uses the same structure to argue for teaching creationism in the schools.

O'Reilly also uses some informal colloquial fallacies. And really, these are his unique variations on established fallacies. The first is anonymous authority. Some really smart people (unnamed) agree with him, so he must be right. He also uses what can only be called a reverse dogmatic fallacy, which I think should be called "the O'Reilly fallacy" in honor of his repeated use of this form. Basically, a dogmatic fallacy is to arbitrarily exclude evidence in favor of X from the universe of discouse. In the O'Reilly fallacy or reverse dogmatic fallacy the refusal to allow X into the universe of discourse because X isn't logical or factually true is evidence of facism on the part of your debate opponent. I particularly like that one.

But my favorite part of this clip is when he argues by choir - essentially saying that more people believe as he does then don't so he must be correct. This is akin to saying 50,000 Elvis fans can't be wrong (even though they can). Argument by choir is totally irrelevant to whether any of the statements are true or logical.

So, to sum up O'Reillys illogic. Science can't explain everything, therefore the theory of biological evolution has gaps. Those gaps can only be filled by the flying spaghetti monster. If you don't allow this random and arbitrary conclusion to be taught to school children in a science class simply because it doesn't meet the minimal scientific standards for evidence or logic you are clearly a fascist and by the way 50,000 Elvis fans can't be wrong. Dawkins was right to shake his head and point out that this was a truly remarkable peice of illogic.
Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...