How to keep going when the going gets tough

I was asked by reporter to share one of the most difficult decisions I had to make, this past year. My answer: whether to keep the company going or not.

I'm not going to lie, the last couple of years have been tough. My ability to concentrate on the work has ebbed and flowed and different times. I don't feel like I've been as effective as I have wanted to be. And the pandemic? Well, I've wanted to just - escape. As I think most people have.

The reality is, we are living through a global pandemic. And our primary job in a pandemic is to survive the pandemic. The instinct to insulate the family and just withdraw, is a protective instinct. It's healthy actually.

The problem is, that instinct is at odds with running a company with requires, not withdrawal, but engagement.  Finding the will to stay engaged has been really tough for me.

I have ultimately decided to stay engaged because, I really do feel that what I do matters and can make the world a better place.

Being a Humanist helps, because it encourages me to think - beyond myself into my impact on others. And it's honestly - only my feeling of responsibility to others that has kept me going. 

If you are struggling too - you have my sympathy. My advice? It's ok to feel like you are struggling when the reality is - you are struggling.  That's acknowledging reality.  It's also ok to take care of your own for a while. But for me, I always pair that with my concern and care for others.

Hugs regardless of what you decide to do for you. 

Keeping it together - humanistically

 I've been in a funk lately. I know I'm not the only one. I've got friends. We talk. Most of us are - funky - and not in a good way. Ugh.

It's partially the pandemic and the stress related to that and  - lots of other things. It makes it hard to want to make plans. I run my own business and honestly, if I don't feel like working, no one notices but me. I'm not nearly as effective as I could be if I was - you know - motivated.  And right now I'm not.

So, how should I, as a Humanist, deal with this situation.  Well - here's how I'm approaching it.  

Step one. Accept reality. 

The reality is. I'm in a funk. And, that's honestly ok. I mean seriously, with all that is going on. I'm pretty sure my desire to not interact much with the world except, do my own thing and hang out with family, is a pretty darned good response to a global pandemic. It's me protecting myself.  That's a good thing.

The reality is, we have one job during a pandemic. And that is, to survive it. 

Not wanting to do much - is probably a health response to our current reality.

Step 2: Be OK with NOT being "productive" for a while. 

I'm normally a pretty productive person. I sit on 2 non-profit boards. I publish books, run my own company, have a kid, plus I'm working on a genealogy project. I have very little interest in doing extra for my work right now. And you know what? That's ok. I don't have to be maximizing my impact on others right now. What I can and should be doing, is surviving this pandemic - hopefully, with my sanity intact. 

I have friends who are caring for sick family members, or who are sick themselves. Or they are dealing with loss of job or income or whatever it is. The reality is, everything is harder right now. If you can't do all the extra stuff you want to - that's ok. Again, withdrawing is a health response to being overwhelmed. If you can withdraw a bit - do it. The stuff you do get done, will get better and your sanity will thank you.

If you can't withdraw from things, figure out if you can. You have one job, to survive this. What is the bare minimum you need to do, to survive. You have to earn a living. And take care of your family. That's it really. All that other still will not go away. For more on this concept - read this essay I wrote last month - http://humanisthappiness.blogspot.com/2021/08/self-care-lessons-from-goat.html

Figure out what your priorities are - and focus on 3 things at most. 

Step 3: Relax

What makes you happy? What do you enjoy out of all the things you do and what do you never want to do again?

Make time for and indulge in the things that bring you joy.  I cant' stress this enough. Yes, you have a lot going on. It's overwhelming. We all want to withdraw.  No, you do not have to be productive in your cocoon. What do you like to do that helps you feel alive?

For me, it's watching foreign movies and K-dramas. And Disney movies and let's face it - MCU.  That brings me joy. 

Time spent wasting time - is not wasted if it helps me relax and feel happy.

I do find that when I don't want to do work work, my brain occupies itself with other things. Right now, that's genealogy stuff.  Whatever it is you enjoy, indulge in your guilty pleasures. That isn't wasted time. It's quality time.

Learning More

My first online course, is my course called - Living Made Simpler. https://humanistlearning.com/livingmadesimpler1/

The goal of the course is to teach people how to apply the humanist philosophy to their daily life. The result, for me at least, is my life is made easier when I think - what would a humanist do. How do I live an ethical life of personal fulfillment that aspires to the greater good of humanity?

That's what we are all striving for right?  Humanist philosophers through out history have come up with a solution that actually seems to work. So, I encourage you to learn more and see if it works for you.

The course is a 6 hour video lesson program that is loosely based on my book: The Humanist Approach to Happiness. https://humanistlearning.com/the-humanist-approach-to-happiness-book/

The book has been translated into several languages and is in use at a military academy in Canada in addition to being part of the curricula for the UUA.   

I hope this approach helps you - feel better while doing better. 

As always, if I can ever help you on your journey to living a better more ethical life, please let me know. 

Humanistic Leadership and Science

 At a recent presentation on humanistic leadership, I was asked about why I connect humanistic leadership and science so strongly.  Why is science central to the practice of humanistic leadership.

The answer is that in order to do good things, we can't just want to do good. We have to know how to effectively solve our problems. And to do that, we have to a) know what really causes our problem - instead of assuming what the cause is and b) we have to know what really works to solve the real causes of our problem instead of assuming we know.

To know what is real, we need science. 

Without that, we are adrift, or worse, dead.  

We are currently dealing with a labor shortage. What is causing that labor shortage? I honestly don't know. What I do know is that most people's assumptions are driven by their political biases and not by the science, and this goes for people across the spectrum. 

I also know that unless we deal with the real root cause of our problems, and there appear to be many, we not only won't fix the problem, we will probably make the problem worse. If I was tasked with fixing this problem, I would first, look at the research that has been done on what is causing our current problem. #science.

We are also dealing with a pandemic. How does this disease spread, how can we prevent it's spread. There is a tremendous amount of disinformation and misinformation being spread and again, a lot of that is based on political biases. None of us are immune to making assumptions about root causes. A scientific mindset helps us all, override our biases and look for reality that might contradict our beliefs.

The reason science is necessary is because, if you want to run a business and keep your employees safe and productive and not have them die on you or hospitalized - which does cause labor shortages, you need science.  And yes, this is a real problem. My county has told us our trash pickups will be delayed because employees are sick. My county government, literally, no longer has a functioning IT department because of the six staff members, 2 died, and 3 were hospitalized. Only 1 person is in our IT department is able to work. COVID literally wiped out our entire IT department in one week. 

Science is critical to operating a functioning business because functioning businesses require staff to be able to work. And for that - they need to be alive and NOT in the hospital.  We all need to understand the science and not just make assumptions about what is real or not. This doesn't just apply to the topic of covid, but - everything. 

One of the big problems I see locally is that leaders are unhappy with reality so they have declared that they are going to act as IF their preferred reality was true in the hopes that pretending it's true will make it true.  They are acting as IF the pandemic wasn't a reality. This will not work. You can't just wish away an unpleasant reality like a pandemic. You either deal with it constructively using science, or ... we all end up with more dead people, more hospitalized people and more disruption to - everything. 

I understand optimism. I'm a huge fan of optimism. You have to believe you can make things better to even try.  And a big part of that - is having a vision of what you want to see happen. My local government leaders don't lack for vision. They have a great vision. They want the pandemic to be over. So do I. But pretending it's over when it isn't - isn't going to magically make it go away. Pretending it's over when we are currently experiencing exponential growth of a deadly disease and disruptions to our work force as people end up in the hospital and some die, isn't effective leadership. It's insane leadership. It's deadly leadership. True, it's optimistic leadership, but it's not reality based leadership.  To fix our problems with a minimal amount of death and destruction, we need both optimism and SCIENCE! 

We simply can't fix our problems, whatever they are, without science.  We need to accept reality instead of wishing it away.

Good leaders do more than have vision. They plan for reality and science based plans to fix reality so that the outcome they want - actually happens. We ignore reality at our own peril. #Science is central.