Happiness Through Humanism: mental health

Showing posts with label mental health. Show all posts

Navigating the Seas of Happiness and Depression: A Humanist Perspective

Introduction

In our pursuit of happiness, we often find ourselves navigating the unpredictable waters of life's challenges. For those of us who subscribe to Humanist philosophy, the path to happiness is rooted in realism, compassion, and self-empowerment. This blog post explores how to maintain positivity in the face of stressful situations, understanding the natural ebb and flow of emotions, and the profound ways in which happiness can be a byproduct of our actions and connections with others. We also shed light on the importance of seeking help, even when it comes in the form of medication, as exemplified by personal experiences with anti-depressents.

The Ebb and Flow of Emotions

Life is a journey filled with ups and downs. Emotions, much like the tides, ebb and flow. The Humanist perspective acknowledges that it's perfectly normal to experience a range of emotions, including sadness and frustration. These emotions are not roadblocks on the path to happiness but rather integral parts of the human experience.

Acceptance and self-compassion play a pivotal role in navigating this emotional ebb and flow. Understanding that it's okay to feel down sometimes can be liberating. In these moments, instead of suppressing or denying your emotions, embrace them. Allow yourself to process these feelings, for it's often through introspection that you'll uncover the seeds of happiness.

Happiness as a Byproduct

Humanist philosophy underscores the idea that happiness isn't a goal in and of itself but rather a byproduct of our actions and connections. Happiness often sneaks up on us when we're fully engaged in activities we're passionate about or spending quality time with people we care about. It's in these moments that we forget to chase happiness, and instead, it naturally fills our hearts.

Helping others can also be a powerful source of happiness. Humanists believe in the profound impact of compassion and altruism. Helping others not only contributes to the well-being of those you assist but also enriches your own life. The simple act of kindness can trigger a sense of fulfillment and happiness that transcends the immediate moment.

Seeking Chemical Help

Sometimes, the turbulent seas of depression can feel overwhelming and sometimes our biology just doesn't cooperate. Depression can be clinical in nature and no amount of doing good will change help. Humanist philosophy, while rooted in self-empowerment, recognizes that there are times when external assistance is necessary and that it's not only ok to see out that help, it's part of your empowerment.

My son recently went on an anti-depressant. He has felt hollow for a while and advocated for himself that we allow him to seek medical intervention, which we did. He's had an immediate improvement. He's struggling significantly less, way more social and engaged then he had been.

Sure, we could have rode it out as part of - teenage angst, but he knows himself best at 17 and did the right thing telling us he felt he needed additional help. His doctor agreed and put him on a drug. He's gone from struggling to even start his school work to being ahead of his work and getting As. He's much happier.

Anti-depressant medications can serve as a lifeline for individuals struggling with depression. The Humanist perspective encourages us to embrace science and seek help when needed. Mental health, just like physical health, requires professional care when facing difficulties. It's a testament to human resilience that we have developed treatments that can make such a profound difference in people's lives.

Conclusion

In the grand tapestry of life, happiness isn't a static destination but a dynamic journey. As Humanists, we are grounded in reality and seek to derive meaning and joy from our experiences, even when faced with adversity. Remember that the ebb and flow of emotions are a natural part of being human, and happiness often emerges from our actions and connections with others. When life's challenges become overwhelming, don't hesitate to seek help, whether it be through therapy, medication, or a supportive community. In the pursuit of happiness, we empower ourselves to navigate the seas of life with resilience, compassion, and a true appreciation for the human experience.

Learn More

If you're eager to explore the Humanist approach to happiness in greater depth, we recommend diving into Jennifer's insightful book, 'The Humanist Approach to Happiness.' In her book, she delves even deeper into the principles and practices that can guide you on your journey toward a more fulfilling and joyful life. Through the lens of Humanism, you'll discover valuable insights and practical wisdom for navigating the complexities of the human experience."

This closing statement encourages readers to further explore the topic by reading Jennifer's book, inviting them to delve deeper into the Humanist perspective on happiness.

https://humanistlearning.com/the-humanist-approach-to-happiness-book/

Keeping it together - humanistically

I've been in a funk lately. I know I'm not the only one. I've got friends. We talk. Most of us are - funky - and not in a good way. Ugh.

It's partially the pandemic and the stress related to that and - lots of other things. It makes it hard to want to make plans. I run my own business and honestly, if I don't feel like working, no one notices but me. I'm not nearly as effective as I could be if I was - you know - motivated. And right now I'm not.

So, how should I, as a Humanist, deal with this situation. Well - here's how I'm approaching it.

Step one. Accept reality.

The reality is. I'm in a funk. And, that's honestly ok. I mean seriously, with all that is going on. I'm pretty sure my desire to not interact much with the world except, do my own thing and hang out with family, is a pretty darned good response to a global pandemic. It's me protecting myself. That's a good thing.

The reality is, we have one job during a pandemic. And that is, to survive it.

Not wanting to do much - is probably a health response to our current reality.

Step 2: Be OK with NOT being "productive" for a while.

I'm normally a pretty productive person. I sit on 2 non-profit boards. I publish books, run my own company, have a kid, plus I'm working on a genealogy project. I have very little interest in doing extra for my work right now. And you know what? That's ok. I don't have to be maximizing my impact on others right now. What I can and should be doing, is surviving this pandemic - hopefully, with my sanity intact.

I have friends who are caring for sick family members, or who are sick themselves. Or they are dealing with loss of job or income or whatever it is. The reality is, everything is harder right now. If you can't do all the extra stuff you want to - that's ok. Again, withdrawing is a health response to being overwhelmed. If you can withdraw a bit - do it. The stuff you do get done, will get better and your sanity will thank you.

If you can't withdraw from things, figure out if you can. You have one job, to survive this. What is the bare minimum you need to do, to survive. You have to earn a living. And take care of your family. That's it really. All that other still will not go away. For more on this concept - read this essay I wrote last month - http://humanisthappiness.blogspot.com/2021/08/self-care-lessons-from-goat.html

Figure out what your priorities are - and focus on 3 things at most.

Step 3: Relax

What makes you happy? What do you enjoy out of all the things you do and what do you never want to do again?

Make time for and indulge in the things that bring you joy. I cant' stress this enough. Yes, you have a lot going on. It's overwhelming. We all want to withdraw. No, you do not have to be productive in your cocoon. What do you like to do that helps you feel alive?

For me, it's watching foreign movies and K-dramas. And Disney movies and let's face it - MCU. That brings me joy.

Time spent wasting time - is not wasted if it helps me relax and feel happy.

I do find that when I don't want to do work work, my brain occupies itself with other things. Right now, that's genealogy stuff. Whatever it is you enjoy, indulge in your guilty pleasures. That isn't wasted time. It's quality time.

Learning More

My first online course, is my course called - Living Made Simpler. https://humanistlearning.com/livingmadesimpler1/

The goal of the course is to teach people how to apply the humanist philosophy to their daily life. The result, for me at least, is my life is made easier when I think - what would a humanist do. How do I live an ethical life of personal fulfillment that aspires to the greater good of humanity?

That's what we are all striving for right? Humanist philosophers through out history have come up with a solution that actually seems to work. So, I encourage you to learn more and see if it works for you.

The course is a 6 hour video lesson program that is loosely based on my book: The Humanist Approach to Happiness. https://humanistlearning.com/the-humanist-approach-to-happiness-book/

The book has been translated into several languages and is in use at a military academy in Canada in addition to being part of the curricula for the UUA.

I hope this approach helps you - feel better while doing better.

As always, if I can ever help you on your journey to living a better more ethical life, please let me know.

Go ahead. Do it poorly. Just do it!

My husband always says, one of the reasons I am successful - is I get projects completed. I may not do them perfectly - but I get them done and that puts me well ahead of people who don't complete tasks at all.

He's right. Don't worry about doing things well. Go ahead and do it poorly. Just - do it!

Here is a graphic that explains it better than I can.

I find this is especially helpful advice for the times I've been depressed or mentally distressed. The hardest part for me - of climbing my way out is the knowledge that anything I do in a distressed state - is not going to be my best work. Heck - it's probably not even going to be good work.

But if I just do it anyway - I get it done. This can be as simple as convincing myself to go to the mailbox and pick up the mail. It helps me to keep moving forward even when I really don't have it in me to do much. And little progress - is still progress.

Overtime, that little bit of progress adds up.

My husband and I recently purchased a REALLY cheap robot vac. It's small. It doesn't have a large canister. It doesn't map the floor. It just randomly moves about sucking things up. And we love it! It's great!

Why? Because we are comparing it to not vacuuming at all. This things doesn't cover the entire floor when it goes out. Heck- it may miss a room entirely. But it vacuums part of the floor. And over the period of a week - it probably gets to 90% of our floor. Which is 90% of the floor vacuumed imperfectly - which is way way way better than zero percent of the floor vacuumed perfectly.

So go ahead - do it poorly. Just do it.

Dealing with a Toxic Narcissist in the Workplace

The nice thing about narcissists – especially the raging ones – is that they aren’t in control of their behavior. They behave pathologically – which means they are insanely easy to manipulate because their behavior in response to certain stimulus is predictable. You can use that to trigger them in certain ways. Run circles around them basically.

The problem is that it is physically and emotionally draining to do this. Like all bullies, managing their emotional needs takes time away from actually getting work done. It is better to get the toxic person out of the office and fire them. They are a massive black hole of lost productivity.

I once fired a toxic volunteer from a non-profit I worked at and in 3 years, we had increased volunteer output to 20,000 hours per year. That’s the equivalent of 10 full time employees. That’s a LOT of lost productivity caused by 1 toxic person.

How do you deal with them? It depends on who they are. If they are the boss – you either manage their narcissism so that their impact on workflow is minimized, or you quit. There are no other options if you cannot fire them. You either help manage their condition to create space for everyone else to get work done, or you allow them to wreak havoc in the workplace or you quit.

If they are a co-worker, the best course of action is to manage their narcissism so that it isn’t directed at you or your team while simultaneously setting them up to be fired. And again, that’s fairly easy to do because their behavior is super predictable. And to answer your next question – yes – I’ve done this before – successfully on more than one occasion. I’ve only experienced retaliation a few times but could ride that out because of the weakened position of the narcissist by that point. In a couple of the cases the narcissist didn’t know it was me who set them up.

How does someone do this? You must have a good grounding in how behaviors are shaped and triggered. This allows you to set up conditions that will trigger the narcissist’s bad behavior and gets them to escalate. While you are doing this, you are simultaneously – personally – feeding their ego so they come to rely on you to keep them sane. You do this to keep the narcissist from interfering with employees and the work flow by keeping them occupied elsewhere. It’s a defensive move – not an offensive move.

If they are not the boss, you can then trigger their bad behavior in an area that doesn’t impact workflow, but that makes it obvious to upper management that this person is a problem. It takes a little bit of planning and strategizing to do this well.

What you don’t do is try to change them. Narcissism is a personality disorder. If you aren’t a therapist, you can’t fix it and it’s not your job to fix it. Your job is to minimize the harm the narcissist does to the company and the employees and the workflow. It’s pretty much a full time job managing the mental health of a narcissist in the workplace, which is why it’s best if they get fired. But if someone doesn’t take on the task of managing them, they will persist and continue to wreak havoc. This is one of those – someone’s gotta do it situations. Unfortunately.

And before anyone accuses me of not having compassion for someone with a legitimate mental health issue - don't. If they were responsible and taking care of their mental illness and dealing with it constructively - they wouldn't be toxic to the workplace. It's because they aren't dealing with their illness constructively so that they minimize the harm their condition does to others that they are a problem. Until or unless they take responsibility - they will continue to be a blackhole of lost productivity. And again, it's not the employer's or coworker's job to fix them. It's their responsibility to seek the mental health care they need. Not allowing a narcissist to wreak havoc - may actually help them understand - they need help.

If you want to learn more about how exactly - to deal with the behavioral problem that narcissists create - I recommend my comprehensive program on bullying in the workplace. It is 6 hours long. For a reason.

https://humanistlearning.com/workplacebullying1/

Resources for mental health care

Ending the stigma on mental health is important. People who need help - should feel free to get it the same way they feel about going to a doctor when they are sick.