Navigating the Seas of Happiness and Depression: A Humanist Perspective

 Introduction

In our pursuit of happiness, we often find ourselves navigating the unpredictable waters of life's challenges. For those of us who subscribe to Humanist philosophy, the path to happiness is rooted in realism, compassion, and self-empowerment. This blog post explores how to maintain positivity in the face of stressful situations, understanding the natural ebb and flow of emotions, and the profound ways in which happiness can be a byproduct of our actions and connections with others. We also shed light on the importance of seeking help, even when it comes in the form of medication, as exemplified by personal experiences with anti-depressents.

The Ebb and Flow of Emotions

Life is a journey filled with ups and downs. Emotions, much like the tides, ebb and flow. The Humanist perspective acknowledges that it's perfectly normal to experience a range of emotions, including sadness and frustration. These emotions are not roadblocks on the path to happiness but rather integral parts of the human experience.

Acceptance and self-compassion play a pivotal role in navigating this emotional ebb and flow. Understanding that it's okay to feel down sometimes can be liberating. In these moments, instead of suppressing or denying your emotions, embrace them. Allow yourself to process these feelings, for it's often through introspection that you'll uncover the seeds of happiness.

Happiness as a Byproduct

Humanist philosophy underscores the idea that happiness isn't a goal in and of itself but rather a byproduct of our actions and connections. Happiness often sneaks up on us when we're fully engaged in activities we're passionate about or spending quality time with people we care about. It's in these moments that we forget to chase happiness, and instead, it naturally fills our hearts.

Helping others can also be a powerful source of happiness. Humanists believe in the profound impact of compassion and altruism. Helping others not only contributes to the well-being of those you assist but also enriches your own life. The simple act of kindness can trigger a sense of fulfillment and happiness that transcends the immediate moment.

Seeking Chemical Help

Sometimes, the turbulent seas of depression can feel overwhelming and sometimes our biology just doesn't cooperate. Depression can be clinical in nature and no amount of doing good will change help. Humanist philosophy, while rooted in self-empowerment, recognizes that there are times when external assistance is necessary and that it's not only ok to see out that help, it's part of your empowerment.

My son recently went on an anti-depressant. He has felt hollow for a while and advocated for himself that we allow him to seek medical intervention, which we did. He's had an immediate improvement. He's struggling significantly less, way more social and engaged then he had been.

Sure, we could have rode it out as part of - teenage angst, but he knows himself best at 17 and did the right thing telling us he felt he needed additional help. His doctor agreed and put him on a drug.  He's gone from struggling to even start his school work to being ahead of his work and getting As. He's much happier. 

Anti-depressant medications can serve as a lifeline for individuals struggling with depression. The Humanist perspective encourages us to embrace science and seek help when needed. Mental health, just like physical health, requires professional care when facing difficulties. It's a testament to human resilience that we have developed treatments that can make such a profound difference in people's lives.

Conclusion

In the grand tapestry of life, happiness isn't a static destination but a dynamic journey. As Humanists, we are grounded in reality and seek to derive meaning and joy from our experiences, even when faced with adversity. Remember that the ebb and flow of emotions are a natural part of being human, and happiness often emerges from our actions and connections with others. When life's challenges become overwhelming, don't hesitate to seek help, whether it be through therapy, medication, or a supportive community. In the pursuit of happiness, we empower ourselves to navigate the seas of life with resilience, compassion, and a true appreciation for the human experience.

Learn More

If you're eager to explore the Humanist approach to happiness in greater depth, we recommend diving into Jennifer's insightful book, 'The Humanist Approach to Happiness.' In her book, she delves even deeper into the principles and practices that can guide you on your journey toward a more fulfilling and joyful life. Through the lens of Humanism, you'll discover valuable insights and practical wisdom for navigating the complexities of the human experience."

This closing statement encourages readers to further explore the topic by reading Jennifer's book, inviting them to delve deeper into the Humanist perspective on happiness.

https://humanistlearning.com/the-humanist-approach-to-happiness-book/

Go ahead. Do it poorly. Just do it!

My husband always says, one of the reasons I am successful - is I get projects completed.  I may not do them perfectly - but I get them done and that puts me well ahead of people who don't complete tasks at all.

He's right.  Don't worry about doing things well. Go ahead and do it poorly. Just - do it!

Here is a graphic that explains it better than I can.

I find this is especially helpful advice for the times I've been depressed or mentally distressed.  The hardest part for me - of climbing my way out is the knowledge that anything I do in a distressed state - is not going to be my best work. Heck - it's probably not even going to be good work.

But if I just do it anyway - I get it done. This can be as simple as convincing myself to go to the mailbox and pick up the mail.  It helps me to keep moving forward even when I really don't have it in me to do much.  And little progress - is still progress.

Overtime, that little bit of progress adds up.

My husband and I recently purchased a REALLY cheap robot vac.  It's small. It doesn't have a large canister.  It doesn't map the floor. It just randomly moves about sucking things up.   And we love it!  It's great!

Why?  Because we are comparing it to not vacuuming at all.  This things doesn't cover the entire floor when it goes out. Heck- it may miss a room entirely. But it vacuums part of the floor. And over the period of a week - it probably gets to 90% of our floor. Which is 90% of the floor vacuumed imperfectly - which is way way way better than zero percent of the floor vacuumed perfectly. 

So go ahead - do it poorly. Just do it. 

Coping With Bad News

I am often asked how to deal with bad news from the news. The problem is that when you make a commitment to approach life compassionately, it is very hard to hear about bad news and suffering without also feeling suffering yourself.

Compassion isn’t just empathy. It is fiercely passionate. So coping with strong emotions about something bad that has happened that you personally can’t do anything about is very difficult for most people to handle. The often respond by rationalizing away their compassion. It’s just too difficult an emotional to feel and not being able to do anything about it can leave a person feeling helpless, which doesn’t feel very good at all.

So what is a compassionate, ethical and responsible person to do? How can we feel the fullness of compassion without feeling despondent at our ability to do anything about it?

Here’s how I do it. First, I acknowledge my compassion and the fierceness of it as a good sign that I am fully human. It would be worse to not feel that way at all. Then I figure out whether I am in a position to do something positive to help or not. If not, which is often the case, I then invoke the serenity prayer – there are some things I just need to accept. I finish off with a recommitment to correct the injustices I am already working on and am committed to.

To me, the best antidote to feeling helpless is to do something constructive. I may not be able to solve all the problems of the world, but I can certainly fix some of them. As long as I am doing my part to do good, I trust that my fellow humans will do their part and together perhaps we can accomplish that which we can’t do alone.

In other words, I don’t suppress my compassion, I just redirect it to an area I can do something about. 

Circumstances Beyond Your Control

Ok - I write about the Humanist Approach to happiness, but lets be honest. It’s impossible to be happy all the time. Sometimes bad stuff happens that’s beyond our control. Whether it is an insane gunman killing random people at a rally, or it’s a sudden loss of a child, which just happened to a friend of a friend. Stuff happens and when that stuff happens, it is normal and natural to be upset by it.

So, how do we as Humanists cope? How do we reclaim our sense of hope and wonder and joy when the news is so depressing? Well, it isn’t easy. And, it takes time. And that’s ok. Again, you are not going to be happy all the time. And unfortunately, there is no magic wand you can wave to make all the sorrows and sadness in your life go away.

While I hate to gratuitously pitch my book, it does have an entire chapter about coping with grief so if you want to learn more about coping with those emotions, please get yourself a copy. What I want to focus on here is that the way back to happiness requires you to regain control of a situation that you had no control over. And the way you do that is to consciously make a decision to do so.

And in the meantime, while you are working at regaining control, there are some tricks to helping you calm your mind enough to focus on the task ahead of you. Whether you repeat the Serenity Prayer as your mantra or meditate, doesn’t matter. As long as you find a way to focus your energy productively despite your

Life is to be lived

So, been doing a bit of a virtual book tour in support of my book. One of the big topics I am being asked about is suicide. Which is interesting because I only really address it from the perspective of - here’s how you recognize suicidal behavior in others with the advice that you should probably avoid them because suicidal people like to take others along with them for their self destructive rides.

What I didn’t do is give advice to people who are contemplating suicide. Probably because for me, it’s not something I have ever considered seriously. And also, I do like to focus on happier things. But since it has come up and because my podcast posts about suicide are my most popular posts (which again is a bit upsetting), I thought I would give a quick - here’s how Humanists look at it.

Don’t commit suicide!

Life is amazing. And yes, it is hard at times, and painful and sad at times. And believe me, I know. I have lost a child and been the victim of a stalking. I have known sadness and pain so powerful that it is incapacitating. I have known fear so intense it is immobilizing. But those are just emotions. Regardless of how intense they are, they are temporary and can be overcome. I am living proof that it is possible to not just overcome them but to thrive. It’s hard, but it can be done.

The question people considering suicide often ask is, “why not just kill myself and get it over with?” Humanists find this question to be a very unsatisfying and depressing question to ask. It has no good answer. So if you find yourself asking that question, stop.

The better question to ask yourself is this. “Despite it all, why not live?” Go on. Ask yourself this question and see how you feel afterwards, I’ll wait. …. To even ask that question is in some ways an act of defiance. It feels good. More importantly, even a halfhearted response to “why not live” opens up a new world of possibilities.

The Humanist approach is to live despite it all. And not only to live but to embrace life whole-heartedly - the good and the bad and to ultimately be happy. Life is amazing and hard, but it is life and life is to be lived. And if you die, you will miss it all, and that would be a shame. Especially since tomorrow is International Love Song day - you wouldn’t want to miss that.

Oh - and one last thing. If you are suffering from depression and are thinking of killing yourself. Don’t. Go to your doctor and tell them you are depressed and be honest with them about exactly how depressed you really are. They really can help you and you will feel much better once you are honest with someone else about how badly you have been feeling. If you can’t afford a doctor or don’t have one, go to your county health clinic and tell them about how you feel. Help is available, go and get it. Check out - http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ for more information