When Crisis Hits: A Humanist Way of Coping

 Today, my husband was in a bad car accident.

Thanks to modern vehicles and sheer luck, he’s okay. The man who hit him is okay too. There are injuries, but nothing life-threatening. We are fortunate—and I don’t use that word lightly.

This can happen to anyone. No one is immune.

A few months ago I went out to lunch with a new friend. Within two weeks of meeting her, her husband became gravely ill. For the past two months, she’s been shuttling him from doctor to doctor, trying to solve a terrifying mystery. He can’t breathe properly, but it’s not his heart. It’s not his lungs. No one knows why.

And while the crisis drags on, life doesn’t pause.

Work still needs to be done. Food still needs to be bought. Bills still need to be paid. The mundane mechanics of life keep grinding forward, even when everything feels fragile.

When my husband called me from the accident scene, I went into what I call “what’s next mode.”

What needs to be done right now?
What information needs to be gathered?
Who needs to be called?
What needs to happen tomorrow?

Doctor visits. Insurance claims. Lawyers. Logistics.

I didn’t panic. I didn’t freeze. I did what needed to be done. I took care of my husband. Then I cooked dinner. I folded laundry.

And then I started shaking.

Because once the immediate needs were met, reality caught up with me.

He could have died today.
The other man could have died today.

We aren’t guaranteed anything.

How Humanism Helps Me Cope

As a Humanist, I find that confronting this reality—honestly and without softening it—actually helps me cope.

We aren’t special.
Bad things happen.
They happen to everyone, eventually.

I waste zero time on “Why me?”
I already know the answer.

Because this is what being human means.

Sometimes we get lucky. Sometimes we don’t. That’s not punishment or destiny—it’s reality. And because that’s my starting point, I can accept what’s happening faster than if I believed there was a larger meaning to decode or a cosmic explanation I was owed.

I think this is one of the quiet strengths of Humanism.

Because we don’t believe we are protected or chosen, we accept reality sooner. And acceptance frees up energy—not for denial or bargaining, but for action.

Action Doesn’t Mean Emotional Absence

This doesn’t mean Humanists don’t feel deeply. We do.

I’m feeling it now—in the shaking, in the delayed adrenaline, in the sudden awareness of how close today came to going very differently.

But Humanism biases us toward reality-based action.

What can I do right now to make this situation a little bit better?

That question matters. It’s grounding. It gives us traction when everything feels unstable.

Action doesn’t erase grief or fear—but it keeps us moving through it instead of being consumed by it.

It’s Okay to Be Human

Crisis exposes something important: there is no “right” way to respond.

Sometimes the most human response is efficiency.
Sometimes it’s numbness.
Sometimes it’s tears that come hours—or days—later.

All of that is normal.

Humanism doesn’t ask us to transcend our humanity. It asks us to work with it.

To face reality as it is.
To care for one another because no one else is coming to save us.
To make things a little better where we can.

Humanistic Leadership in Crisis Situations

This same approach applies in workplace crises. Layoffs, public failures, harassment investigations, sudden leadership changes—these moments trigger fear and uncertainty just as powerfully as personal emergencies. Good leaders don’t dismiss emotions, but they don’t drown in them either. They make space for people to be human and help teams focus on what can be done next. What problems are solvable right now? What support is needed? What clarity can be provided? Reality-based leadership in crisis isn’t cold—it’s compassionate, stabilizing, and deeply human.

The Only Guarantee We Have

Every day we have with the people we love is a gift.

Not because it’s divinely granted.
Not because it’s deserved.
But because it’s temporary.

Knowing that doesn’t make life bleak for me—it makes it precious.

Today reminded me how thin the line is between “ordinary” and “everything changed.” And tomorrow, like today, will still require groceries, emails, and laundry.

But it will also require something else:

Presence. Gratitude. And the courage to keep acting in a world that offers no guarantees.

That, to me, is the Humanist response to crisis.

Learn More:

If you want to learn more - My first book and course can help.  I explore how to live humanistically, even when things are difficult or horrifying.

Book: The Humanist Approach to Happiness - https://humanistlearning.com/the-humanist-approach-to-happiness-book/

Course: Living Made Simpler - https://humanistlearning.com/livingmadesimpler1/

I don't sugar coat things. Life is often hard.  But that doesn't mean it's not also awesome.  There is a duality to life's experiences. Or rather a triality.  Sometimes it's great. Sometimes it's horrible and sometimes it is just ok.  If you let me, I can teach you how to cope in a way that will help you - make life, the good and the bad and the meh - simpler. 

Why Be a Good Person (Even When It Feels Hard)

Compassion is an important part of my practice as a Humanist.  But when I talk about the importance of responding with compassion to people who are struggling with difficult situations, the most common concern people raise is this:

“But if you’re compassionate, won’t bad people just take advantage of you?”

I get it. On the surface, it can feel like being a good person just paints a big target on your back. Why bother? What’s in it for you?

Here’s the reality: being a bad person doesn’t protect you from bad people either. Bad people take advantage of bad people all the time. In fact, bad people are often each other’s favorite targets. So the idea that being mean, tough, or selfish shields you from harm just isn’t true.

That means the real question isn’t, “Will being good protect me?” It’s “Who do I want to be?”

I choose to be good because it’s who I want to be. My values matter to me. Being good doesn’t mean rolling over and letting people walk all over you. It means defending yourself without abandoning your principles. It means setting boundaries without becoming cruel. Most of the time, it means walking away. And when I do have to take action, I act from my values—not from anger or frustration.

Another concern I hear a lot is: “What if I want to be a good person, but I work in a place where others aren’t? How do I manage that?”

My answer is always the same: you don’t need anyone’s permission to be a good person. Yes, it’s harder when you are surrounded by unethical colleagues or leadership. But it’s still worth it. Compassion and empathy help you hold on to your humanity. They allow you to maintain your own standards—even in the toughest environments.

Being good isn’t about being naïve. It’s about being intentional. It’s about choosing to live in alignment with your values no matter what.

If this resonates with you and you want tools to help you stay compassionate, ethical, and resilient—especially when faced with bullying or unethical behavior—I’ve created resources to help. You can find my books and courses on my website https://humanistlearning.com  I have courses, books, audio books and other materials designed to give you practical skills to stay the kind of person you aspire to be, even when the world around you makes it difficult.

So, why be good? Because in the end, that’s who you decide to be. And if you need a selfish reason to be good, it's because your life is made easier when you are surrounded by good people. And good people, do not give their time to bad people. Want to be surrounded by good people? Be a good person yourself. 

Exciting News: My Blog Named a Top Humanist Blog!

 I’m honored to share that my blog has been named one of the Top 15 Humanist Blogs by Feedspot—and I came in at number 8! 

For those who are new here, my writing focuses on applying humanism—the philosophy of living ethically without religion—to everyday challenges. Whether I’m exploring questions like “what is humanism?” or sharing practical strategies for how to live as a compassionate, responsible humanist, my goal is always the same: to help people define and live their values in real, tangible ways.

Being included on this list alongside so many other thoughtful writers in the humanist community is truly exciting. If you’re curious to explore more perspectives on defining humanism, the meaning of being a humanist, or how humanism shapes the way we live and work, I encourage you to check out the full list here: Top 15 Humanist Blogs.

Of course, I’ll keep writing and sharing insights here about compassion, ethics, behavioral science, and how we can use humanist principles to create a better world. But I also believe part of being a humanist is learning from one another—so I hope you’ll take a little time to read and support the other blogs on this list.

Thank you for being part of this journey with me. Your support makes it possible for me to keep sharing these ideas and to continue showing how

Navigating the Seas of Happiness and Depression: A Humanist Perspective

 Introduction

In our pursuit of happiness, we often find ourselves navigating the unpredictable waters of life's challenges. For those of us who subscribe to Humanist philosophy, the path to happiness is rooted in realism, compassion, and self-empowerment. This blog post explores how to maintain positivity in the face of stressful situations, understanding the natural ebb and flow of emotions, and the profound ways in which happiness can be a byproduct of our actions and connections with others. We also shed light on the importance of seeking help, even when it comes in the form of medication, as exemplified by personal experiences with anti-depressents.

The Ebb and Flow of Emotions

Life is a journey filled with ups and downs. Emotions, much like the tides, ebb and flow. The Humanist perspective acknowledges that it's perfectly normal to experience a range of emotions, including sadness and frustration. These emotions are not roadblocks on the path to happiness but rather integral parts of the human experience.

Acceptance and self-compassion play a pivotal role in navigating this emotional ebb and flow. Understanding that it's okay to feel down sometimes can be liberating. In these moments, instead of suppressing or denying your emotions, embrace them. Allow yourself to process these feelings, for it's often through introspection that you'll uncover the seeds of happiness.

Happiness as a Byproduct

Humanist philosophy underscores the idea that happiness isn't a goal in and of itself but rather a byproduct of our actions and connections. Happiness often sneaks up on us when we're fully engaged in activities we're passionate about or spending quality time with people we care about. It's in these moments that we forget to chase happiness, and instead, it naturally fills our hearts.

Helping others can also be a powerful source of happiness. Humanists believe in the profound impact of compassion and altruism. Helping others not only contributes to the well-being of those you assist but also enriches your own life. The simple act of kindness can trigger a sense of fulfillment and happiness that transcends the immediate moment.

Seeking Chemical Help

Sometimes, the turbulent seas of depression can feel overwhelming and sometimes our biology just doesn't cooperate. Depression can be clinical in nature and no amount of doing good will change help. Humanist philosophy, while rooted in self-empowerment, recognizes that there are times when external assistance is necessary and that it's not only ok to see out that help, it's part of your empowerment.

My son recently went on an anti-depressant. He has felt hollow for a while and advocated for himself that we allow him to seek medical intervention, which we did. He's had an immediate improvement. He's struggling significantly less, way more social and engaged then he had been.

Sure, we could have rode it out as part of - teenage angst, but he knows himself best at 17 and did the right thing telling us he felt he needed additional help. His doctor agreed and put him on a drug.  He's gone from struggling to even start his school work to being ahead of his work and getting As. He's much happier. 

Anti-depressant medications can serve as a lifeline for individuals struggling with depression. The Humanist perspective encourages us to embrace science and seek help when needed. Mental health, just like physical health, requires professional care when facing difficulties. It's a testament to human resilience that we have developed treatments that can make such a profound difference in people's lives.

Conclusion

In the grand tapestry of life, happiness isn't a static destination but a dynamic journey. As Humanists, we are grounded in reality and seek to derive meaning and joy from our experiences, even when faced with adversity. Remember that the ebb and flow of emotions are a natural part of being human, and happiness often emerges from our actions and connections with others. When life's challenges become overwhelming, don't hesitate to seek help, whether it be through therapy, medication, or a supportive community. In the pursuit of happiness, we empower ourselves to navigate the seas of life with resilience, compassion, and a true appreciation for the human experience.

Learn More

If you're eager to explore the Humanist approach to happiness in greater depth, we recommend diving into Jennifer's insightful book, 'The Humanist Approach to Happiness.' In her book, she delves even deeper into the principles and practices that can guide you on your journey toward a more fulfilling and joyful life. Through the lens of Humanism, you'll discover valuable insights and practical wisdom for navigating the complexities of the human experience."

This closing statement encourages readers to further explore the topic by reading Jennifer's book, inviting them to delve deeper into the Humanist perspective on happiness.

https://humanistlearning.com/the-humanist-approach-to-happiness-book/

"Humanism is a Philosophy For Those In Love With Life"

I was the guest speaker at a UU group on the Treasure Coast this past weekend. My topic, as always, was Humanism. I love this group and have several long time friends that are part of it.

Definitions of Humanism

There are several definitions of Humanism and how we conceive of Humanism has changed over time. Certainly over the time I've been involved with the movement. I like many of the simple definitions. Even though they are simple, they invite discussion on exactly what is meant.

One simple definition we came up with when I was the executive director of the Humanists of Florida was - "Humanism is the applied study of what it means to be a good human being."

My practice as a Humanist is to attempt to put my "Reason and Compassion into Action."

Joyful Humanism

As part of the closing statement for the UU meeting, the host used a definition I had never heard before and it struck me as being good. So good I immediately wrote it down. She said the Humanist Society of Western New York defines Humanism as a "philosophy for those in love with life." YES!!!!!!! One of the reasons I love being a Humanist is because it encourages me to be in love with life - the good and the bad. The entire experience. As my dad used to say, living sure beats the alternative.

Here is the full definition the Western NY group has on their website. Humanism is: 

"A joyous alternative to religions that believe in a supernatural god and life in a hereafter. Humanists believe that this is the only life of which we have certain knowledge and that we owe it to ourselves and others to make it the best life possible for ourselves and all with whom we share this fragile planet. A belief that when people are free to think for themselves, using reason and knowledge as their tools, they are best able to solve this world’s problems. An appreciation of the art, literature, music and crafts that are our heritage from the past and of the creativity that, if nourished, can continuously enrich our lives. Humanism is, in sum, a philosophy of those in love with life. Humanists take responsibility for their own lives and relish the adventure of being part of new discoveries, seeking new knowledge, exploring new options. Instead of finding solace in prefabricated answers to the great questions of life, humanists enjoy the open-endedness of a quest and the freedom of discovery that this entails." - 

 The Humanist Society of Western New York

Learn More About Humanism

If you want to learn more about Humanism - I encourage you to read this - it's the 10 Humanist Commitments. I'm a big fan of them and congratulate Kristin Wintermute for facilitating it's creation.

#humanism, #ethicsmatter, #humanist, #commitment #aha #compassion #empathy #society

The 10 Humanist Commitments was created by the Center for Humanist Education (part of the American Humanist Association) - https://thehumanist.com/magazine/september-october-2019/features/living-humanist-values-the-ten-commitments 

Or Feel Free to take one of my online classes: 

https://humanistlearning.com/category/lifeskills/philosophy/

Or read one of these fine books: 

https://humanistlearning.com/category/shop/humanism101/

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Changing Directions - and Asking for Help

 One of the great things about being human is - we can change our minds. If our situations change, we can - change. If we are failing? We can change.

That doesn't mean that change is easy. It isn't. First, we have to admit, what we are doing isn't working. Maybe it never worked. That's hard to admit sometimes. But it's the first step to being able to change what you are doing.

I've been thinking about this a lot lately. My husband is nearing retirement. We are now thinking about what we want the next phase of our lives to be. And I've had to admit to myself that I have failed to meet the goals I had set for myself. I wanted to change the way harassment and bullying is taught so that we use - science - so that we can actually fix the darned problem. I've failed to do that. Not for lack of trying. 

I also failed to get my company, Humanist Learning Systems to the point I wanted to get it to. I've decided that is ok too.  What I really like doing is content creation. Creating the training programs and sharing them. I'm lousy at marketing and sales. I need help in that regard.

What acknowledging these things has allowed me to do - is to go out and find partners that can help a) promote this work and b) run the parts of the business I don't enjoy so that when we retire, my work will continue to be taught.

The amazing thing about having done this? I'm making more money than I did when I was doing it all myself. And, I will be saving money because I won't need to manage my own learning management system myself. 

I'm pretty excited to make more money by doing less of the annoying work and more of the fun work. But to get to this point, I had to admit to myself, I was failing to achieve my objectives. I also needed to set out clear objectives for what I want to do and have in the future. 

If you want to take any of my online courses visit- https://humanistlearning.com/  You can take a certified course for continuing education at my partner LearnFormula, you can view the videos at Vimeo, or you can get them as a book, ebook or audio book. 

Thanks for your continued support. PS - if you want to view any of my course videos at Vimeo - check them out below.

Humanist Responses to religious language

 File this under, questions I get asked a lot. For non-religious, but well meaning people like Humanists, the question is, how to respond to well meaning religious people who say religious things that don't make sense to an atheist.

In this case, the question is, how to respond when someone says, "I'll pray for you." 

First - let me refer you to a post from 2014 - where I address the problem of "forced" prayer. https://sumogirl.com/sumowp/advice-group-prayer/ 

And this - also from 2014 - http://humanisthappiness.blogspot.com/2014/11/my-heart-is-with-you.html

This one from 2009 - http://humanisthappiness.blogspot.com/2009/08/ill-pray-for-you.html

And this from 2017 - http://humanisthappiness.blogspot.com/2017/07/what-to-say-to-parents-of-sick-children.html

As I said, this comes up. A lot. It's an ongoing problem.  

Now for the question I was asked. And yes, I do accept questions you want me to answer and give you feedback on. Just be aware, it will be turned into a blog post though I will change names to protect the innocent when I do so.

Question:

I would love it if you would address this concern in your messages sometime...

I am surrounded by friends who are quite religious, who pray a lot and study their Bibles a lot. They talk about it quite a bit and I am not pushy about my beliefs... no problem. BUT when someone sends a text to the group about an illness in the family (for example) my friends start texting comments like: "I'll keep you in my prayers." And when they get better some of them take credit for the healing. BUT my question - I need a response that sounds caring but isn't a lie. I can't honestly say I'll pray for them since I don't believe it does a bit of good. However, I think knowing friends are praying for you is comforting in itself. Any way... if you can give ideas of a humanist way to respond to such texts, or in person, I'd be grateful.

If there's a class that you have that addresses this question, let me know and I'll take it! I am on your mailing list and enjoy reading your posts. B. R. - Retired Elementary Teacher and ex-Presbyterian current-Humanist

Answer: 

What I do – is what your instinct is – To let them know you will keep them in your thoughts. 
I’ve never had anyone get mad that I’m not praying for them. As you said, it's comforting for people to know you care and are in solidarity with them. So, I tend to say, I’ll keep you in my thoughts and I hope you get better soon. 

And alternate is - I'm so sorry this is happening. I'm hoping for the best for you.  Or some variation on that. 

Being Human means being in a community. And we need that community, especially when something is wrong. Expressing solidarity is a loving thing to do and it does help people to know that people care about them. 

When I think back on the things that people did that helped me the most, it was the acts of kindness. Knowing people are concerned, helps. It really does. So - express that in language that works for you that is heartfelt. 

And if the person needs more than just good thoughts, see if you can help them in other ways. When I lost my child, the single best thing people did, was bring us food. It's an act of kindness that is really practical. It meant, I didn't have to spend any mental energy on making food. I could just start my healing process. It's a good practical standby and helps make sure the person going through a tough time doesn't have to deal with meal planning in addition to everything else they have going on. Having someone help coordinate it so that they don't end up with a ton of meals all on the same day, but that they are spaced out - is a kindness as well. Also, hint, I make food and then portion it out into individual servings that can be frozen and taken out and microwaved and eaten. Why? Because someone did that for me once and it was helpful for me to have health meals made with love, that I didn't have to worry about spoiling.  (Ok - I'm crying now remembering how helpful and important this was to me). 

My point is - just be a good kind loving person and do your best to be in solidarity with people. All the things you did to show love and solidarity while in a religious group, work for a reason. And we non-religious should do them too. The important thing isn't the words used. It's the love that you share in solidarity.

Good luck. 
 

Consider Humanism

 If you are looking around for a philosophy or religion that works better than your current worldview, consider Humanism. 

I am obviously biased, but I do think Humanism is a better way of going through life than all the other alternatives. 

1) It's adaptable. We don't have a dogma. Either things are true or they aren't. If we find out something we believed isn't true, we accept reality. This allows us to more effectively and quickly adapt to the situations we find ourselves in. It also makes it easier to adapt to change.

2) It's reality based. I can't overstate how helpful this is in problem solving.

3) It's compassionate and loving. Humanism is first and foremost about loving life and loving humanity. And that means love in all it's varied dimensions from altruism to passion. Love is simply a wonderful lens through which to experience life.

4) It's about being responsible. We have the ability and therefore we have the responsibility to fix our problems. We can make the world a better place for us all to live in and we have a moral obligation to work towards that.

5) It provides meaning and purpose in an otherwise impersonal universe.  We choose to love. We choose to be responsible. We choose to be reality based and we choose to adapt. These choices, impact everything. Loving people provides motivation and purpose. Responsibility provides impetus and motivation. 

I live my life in a state of general contentedness and happiness. I always wake up feeling motivated. Does any of it matter in the grand scheme of things? Nope. But it matters to me in the here and now and that is actually enough.

Simply put, Humanism works for me, and for the many other Humanists who are making a mark on the world and who have, throughout history, changed the world.  Many of the most influential thinkers in history, were humanists or humanistic in their approach.

So .... if you are thinking about your religious or philosophic options, consider Humanism. 

I have online courses, may of them free that will give you an introduction: https://humanistlearning.com/category/lifeskills/philosophy/

And there are lots of books on the subject: https://humanistlearning.com/category/shop/humanism101/

Need help constructing an ethical framework for yourself?

 Most people want to be ethical, and actually are ethical, but still feel like they struggle with ethics. It doesn't have to be that way. 

I get the impression when I talk to people, that they feel like they need permission to think about ethics, to discuss ethics, or to apply ethics in their lives. I spend a lot of my time, giving people permission to be explicitly ethical.

When I wrote my first book, The Humanist Approach to Happiness, my mother asked me if I really wanted the book to be explicitly humanist. After all, I did not want to proselytize.  (https://humanistlearning.com/the-humanist-approach-to-happiness-book/)   I told her that I did because I felt that it would be dishonest to talk about Humanist ethics without being explicit about where the ethics I hold come from and more importantly why.

My goal was never to convince people to become Humanists. Instead, I hoped by sharing my ethical reasoning, it would help them consider their own. Do they agree? Or not? If they don't agree, what do they think a more ethical solution would be?  

By being open about my own ethical thinking, I give permission to others to be open about their ethical thinking, even if it is different from mine.

If this is an area you struggle with, let me help you.  Often, just reading about others ethical thoughts, helps you think, do I agree or not. Once you do that, you become aware of your own ethical thinking and you can more actively start applying it to your decision making processes in all areas of your life.

I've already mentioned my book: https://humanistlearning.com/the-humanist-approach-to-happiness-book/ 

But really, any book about the Humanist philosophy will do. https://humanistlearning.com/category/shop/humanism101/

I also offer a variety of ethical life skills programs. I recommend Living Made Simpler as an indepth 6 hour program to really take you step by step through how the philosophy can be applied to every day life.  - https://humanistlearning.com/category/lifeskills/philosophy/

Is there a core value I emphasize? Yes, there is.

 My core value as a Humanist is compassion. Here's why.  

I realize this list of humanist values doesn't include compassion. That's ok. It gets at it through the concept of empathy. 

I like to keep things simple. The list I use for myself has 3 elements. 

• Honesty
• Compassion
• Responsibility.

This list appears in my book The Humanist Approach to Happiness: Practical Wisdom. Which has been translated into several languages. https://humanistlearning.com/the-humanist-approach-to-happiness-book/

It also dominates all my online courses. 

Why Compassion? 

Let me answer that question with a question. Why be honest? Or why be responsible? Because if you aren't honest and responsible, you will hurt others and probably also yourself.  Why does it matter if you hurt people?  It doesn't, unless you are compassionate.  

Being compassionate means you are concerned, not just about yourself, but about others as well. The only reason to behave morally, is because of compassion. Without compassion, I don't think there is morality. 

Compassion is my moral compass. If I am ever in doubt of what to do, I think about the problem from the stand point of compassion. What will do the most good and the least harm for myself and others?  

Obviously, being compassionate isn't enough, but I do think it is a necessary starting point for all morality everywhere. 

Learn more by getting one of my books or taking one of my online courses: https://humanistlearning.com/jennifer-hancock/

What does it mean to be a Humanist?

 Going through the American Humanist Association definition of Humanism and explaining what each element of the definition means.

Humanism is a progressive philosophy of life, that without supernaturalism or theism, affirms our ability and responsibility to lead ethical lives of personal fulfillment that aspire to the greater good of humanity.

This video is based on a presentation I did for a Humanist group in Florida. 

Humanism is a great social equalizer

I have the same dignity and worth as everyone else... and so do you!

My Humanism – for me – eliminates power differentials. 

Using Humanism  I don’t need to be afraid – all humans are – human – we are all equal.  When you internalize that – the idea that some people are higher up or intimidating - just doesn’t happen – they are human. Just like me.

And yes - I do have an online course to teach you - not only what Humanism is - but how to live your Humanist values fully so you can experience the benefits Humanist thought provides in your daily life.

https://humanistlearning.com/livingmadesimpler1/

What's the point of being a Humanist?

As opposed to a nihilist or an absurdist or a detachment-ist – buddhist?

 

I cam across a wonderful essay by an atheist in Columbia. https://www.patheos.com/blogs/anotherwhiteatheistincolombia/2020/02/humanist-mucked-up-world/

It's about how hard it sometimes is to live up to our ideas and to work towards positive goals. For me - she really captures the experience of lived Humanism when she says, 

"So, no, this isn’t about optimism, per se. This is more about… recognizing when you are tired, and fed up, and cynical, and hurt, and wounded, and angry–all conditions in which it seems reasonable just to stop bothering–and then to make a concerted effort to keep bothering anyway."

Being a Humanist - is bothering anyway. Mucking along and doing the best you can to be good and to do good. Despite it all.

Does this approach make life easier?  Actually - yes I think it does.  I even created an online course to help people figure out how to keep bothering anyway.
https://humanistlearning.com/livingmadesimpler1/

Is identity a necessary step on the way to Humanism?

This is a question that has been weighing on me for some time.  And I think we need to think about identity politics in a different way. Specifically - we need to eliminate the politics from it - if possible.

I realize this is a very difficult issue and may upset people - because - our identity is central to who we are as people and there are LOTS of people who deny our existence and identity. When our existence is denied - we are harmed, materially and physically.  This is not a minor matter.

But - even as we deal with inequities and discrimination - shouldn't we also keep our eye on our ultimate goal?  Racially transcendent Humanism?

And I say that being fully aware of how not racially transcendent movement Humanism is. For a LONG time - it's been a rich white person's philosophic movement. Heck - most people don't even acknowledge that there are humanist traditions that arose before the white western form that is the hallmark of western humanism. I personally cannot conceive of a Humanism that isn't racially transcendent. If it's not racially transcendent - it's not Humanism. The question is ... how do we get there from here?

Back in 2016 - during the election - there was a lot of discussion and research on exactly why white people voted for Trump and not Hillary. This article was published just before the 2016 election - https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2016/10/31/hillary-clinton-and-the-populist-revolt?verso=true  It discusses the identity politics through the years and how poor people are used and abused by the political process - which is largely - a marketing process.

Marketing - requires segmentation to create messages that resonate. And thus - we are chopped up - instead of unified.

The article caught my interest as the author specifically discusses the importance of Humanism.

Section on Humanism

I recently spoke with the social scientist Glenn Loury, who teaches at Brown University. As he sees it, if race becomes an irreducible category in politics, rather than being incorporated into universal claims of justice, it’s a weapon that can be picked up and used by anyone. “Better watch out,” he said. “I don’t know how you live by the identity-politics sword and don’t die by it.” Its logic lumps everyone—including soon-to-be-minority whites—into an interest group. One person’s nationalism intensifies tribal feelings in others, in what feels like a zero-sum game. “I really don’t know how you ask white people not to be white in the world we’re creating,” Loury said. “How are there not white interests in a world where there are these other interests?” He continued, “My answer is that we not lose sight of the goal of racially transcendent humanism being the American bedrock. It’s the abandonment of this goal that I’m objecting to.

This is what got me thinking:

Is identity a necessary step on the way to Humanism/cosmopolitianism? It is very common to read about this journey. Ta Nahesi Coates for instance – had to claim his black identity before he could see clearly the identity of others so that he could become cosmopolitan. 

People do this journey with religion. They have to define themselves as unique, before they can see others as truly human too.

If this is the case – perhaps this white identity politics we are hearing about is less about racism and more about people figuring out who they are so that they can recognize others. If you have no sense of self – other people are a threat. Develop a sense of self – it is easier to see others as distinct from you – which for me is central to my practice. Other people aren’t me!  That doesn’t make them bad.

This is about maturity. And yes, not everyone will get to cosmopolitanism. People take detours into very dark places. The men’s rights movement for instance. But doesn’t that mean those of us already through the journey as Humanists, need to create the paths that lead through identity into Humanism?  

Instead of saying, the path you are on won’t lead you to humanism. Do we need to create  - a white path and a black path and a Mormon path, a Hindi path, etc – to Humanism?

If we want people to recognize each other as Human, do we first need to help them recognize and respect themselves as unique human that matter first? I think so.

New Year - New Resolutions

To be human is to be a continual work in progress. What makes the condition bearable for me - is striving to be better.

Being and doing better can mean different things to different people. As a Humanist - I think of this as - what can I do to be a better human. This is why I like defining Humanism as the applied study of what it means to be a good human being.

New Year's resolutions are are annual rituals that many never fail to partake in. It involves taking a vow to uphold some decisions, plans and list of proposed actions for the new year. Resolutions are considered sacred in some cases because inability to fulfil them means the entire year was a waste. 

Don 't make that mistake.  There is a reason you tend to make the same resolutions over and over and over again. It's because- being good - takes practice and none of us do it perfectly. There is always something you can improve.

Instead of holding yourself to an unrealistic goal - be realistic instead. Resolve to try and do better. Not to be perfect, but to do better. That's it.

Now go forth and enjoy your year and help make the world a better place while you are at it.

Wonder and Awe

I live life feeling inspired most of the time.  I am very easily awed  and wonder at the world around me.  I may be genetically predisposed to feeling this way. But I also believe that my philosophy of life helps me to experience these feelings on a regular basis.

I feel this way - because - I choose to.

I live my life realistically.  I believe that this is the only life I have.  At some point I will die. This awareness and acceptance of death does not make me pessimistic. Instead, it feels me with a sense of urgency.  I have a limited amount of time to get things done - so I better get them done now. Tomorrow may be too late.

It's why I remember - to look at the sky with wonder and awe. It's why whatever I am doing, I find things to be interested in. I literally cannot remember the last time I was bored. Doing nothing is great - but it's not actually passive. Do nothing time is filled with quality time to observe the things around me. And that brings me joy.

The other thing that being aware of my death does for me is - it helps me not take things too seriously.  If I don't get everything done - that's ok too. I can't do everything and be everything and I don't try to. I do the best I can  - and that will have to be enough - because - realistically - that is literally - all I can do.

Life is amazing. It's amazing that any of us are even alive and aware enough to notice we are alive.  Life is hard and difficult for everyone. So let's work on being compassionate with each other and less self centered.

As the great Humanist Carl Sagan once said,

“For small creatures such as we the vastness is bearable only through love.” 

What does spirituality mean to a humanist?

Most Humanists I know - don’t care for the word at all. Precisely because it could mean anything.

However there are secular uses of the word and definitions from various groups that can help us understand what it means - outside of a religious context.

First - the Spiritual Naturalist Society - What is Spiritual Naturalism? says - “to have spirituality is to be concerned with the larger, deeper, and essential matters of life and to apply ourselves consciously toward them in a committed practice or ‘walk’. This includes, as Socrates put it, the ‘examined life’, and this is what we mean by spirituality.”

For me personally - “Spirituality, in a secular sense, is the spirit in which you approach life. In this sense, it’s critical you attend to your spiritual life because it is actually attending to your motivational needs. How you motivate yourself. Why you motivate yourself. This is the realm of philosophy. Some people attend to this need with religious philosophy. Others with secular philosophy. I attend to this need with the Humanist philosophy specifically.”

The point is - if and when a Humanist talks about spirituality - they are talking about Secular Spirituality. There is a really nice wikipedia article that explains it and the tradition of secular spirituality here - Secular spirituality - Wikipedia

How do I practice humanism?

The simple answer is - try to be a good person. That’s pretty much it.

In all decisions you make - take time to think of what the ethical/good thing to do is - then try to do that.

Frustrated in a store - take a moment to think about what a good outcome would be - and try to do that.

In an argument with someone? Think of how you can change what you are doing - to get a better outcome -not just for yourself, but for them as well.

In business? Thinking through a strategic problem? Think about what a good ethical solution would be - then do that.

Just - try to be a good person.

Humanism has no dogma. We have not prescriptions or rituals or required behaviors. All that Humanism is - is a commitment to try to put our reason and compassion into action.

Here is a list of our commitments - Living Humanist Values: The Ten Commitments - TheHumanist.com

I give really good advice on the existential issues of life

We all have problems. Big problems, little problems.

Whether you are dealing with a difficult situation at work, or you want to reconcile with an estranged family member.  I can help you think more clearly and therefore more effectively about your problems so that you can solve them in a way you are going to feel really good about.

I provide books and programs that teach people how to think better, be more compassionate and how to infuse their lives with meaning and purpose by truly living their ethics.

My clients have a really hard time being specific about what it is I do for them. All they really say is that my philosophic approach transforms their lives and that my books and programs have helped them with so many issues that they have been dealing with that it isn’t just one thing. It is everything.

And that is because, I don’t just teach a technique. I teach a holistic approach to living life fully, intentionally and ethically. An approach that has been taught in some form throughout the entire course of human history. Best of all, this approach does not require any magic thinking.  It is simply a pragmatic approach to problem solving coupled with a compassion based ethic and infused with a strong sense of personal responsibility that comes from asking one simple question.

What are you doing with your life?

Most of the problems we encounter involve conflicts with other people. To help you solve your problem, I help you think more compassionately about the individual you are in conflict with so that you can think critically about how best to resolve the conflict. 

To learn how I can help you - visit Humanist Learning Systems - https://humanistlearning.com/ - and sign up for a course, or purchase one of my books: https://humanistlearning.com/jennifer-hancock/

Worry about the future? Humanist coping skills for existential angst.

Everyone worries about the future. We can't help it. The future matters. Our future matters. What can we do to help ourselves create a better future?

This question is central to the humanist approach. What kind of future do we want? How can we create that future?

The reason we all have angst is because - despite our best efforts, things may not go our way. The reason psychics and other charlatans even have businesses is because people are anxious about the future and really really really want to know how things will turn out.  Humans embrace supernatural options when the normal options - aren't an options.

This is primarily a problem of patience and feelings of helplessness.  If you want to do something, but there is nothing practical you can do - doing something supernatural can help you feel like you are doing something even when you are actually doing nothing, but giving your money and time to someone who can't help you.

Humanists reject supernatural approaches because a) they don't work and b) they take our energy and direct it away from practical things we could be doing.

So how do I cope with the unknowable future? 

First - patience.  At some point - we will know what happens in the future - because it will happen. If we just allow ourselves to accept that it is ok to not know, we can avoid doing stupid things out of our impatience. And I say this as someone who lacks patience.

So - what do I do when I can't do anything about the thing I am anxious about?  I do something else. I work on something I can have an impact on. That way - I don't do something stupid when I just need to be patient.

The other problem we have is the feeling of helplessness.  Sometimes, doing nothing is the right thing to do - but doing nothing makes us feel helpless.  So how do I cope with those feelings?

Again, I redirect into something else and I remind myself that it's ok that I don't know how things will turn out and that either way - I will survive. I may not like the outcome, but worrying about it isn't going to change it.

This is why the serenity prayer continues to be so useful.  Have the courage to change the  things you can. The patience to accept thing things you can't change and the wisdom to know the difference.

Wisdom is key.  Wisdom is both critical thinking and philosophy combined. 

So when you find yourself in times of trouble and you are anxious about the future.  Think.  Can I do anything to improve my chances? Or if I take action, will it be counter productive.  Use that knowledge to inform your actions.

If it turns out that doing nothing is the best thing - accept that!!! And work on something else - a plan b if you will for what you will do if your desired outcome doesn't happen.

One of the great things about Humanism is it rejects supernaturalism. So - we are less tempted to resort to supernatural solutions to help. We can instead - realistically assess our choices, and if we can't work on plan A right now, we work on a plan B. That way if plan A doesn't pan out - we have a back up plan. And that's much better path to future success than wasting your time, energy and money on supernatural nonsense.

If you need help learning how to cope more effectively and want to try applied Humanism - check out my Living Made Simpler Course - https://humanistlearning.com/livingmadesimpler1/