Showing posts with label humanist philosophy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label humanist philosophy. Show all posts

How to Get Better at Doing New Things: Successive Approximation, Not Perfection

When we set out to learn something new, most of us fall into the same trap: expecting ourselves to be perfect right away. Whether it’s a new skill at work, a leadership practice, or even a new habit at home, we demand too much, too soon. And when perfection doesn’t happen, we get discouraged, give up, or label ourselves as “bad” at it.

Behavioral science offers us a much better model: successive approximation.

Jennifer training a dolphin in Hawaii
Jennifer training a dolphin in Hawaii while in college

What Dolphins Can Teach Us About Learning

When I was training dolphins, we used an approach to training new behaviors called successive approximation. Which basically means, you reward approximations of the wanted behavior and over time, fine tune it. We aren't rewarding perfect behavior. We are rewarding approximations of the behavior we want.

When trainers teach a dolphin a new trick, we don’t expect the animal to leap out of the water and spin on day one. That’s never going to happen. Why? Because dolphins don't speak human. If we want them to do something, we can't just say - please jump out of the water. We instead, have to help them figure out what we are asking for by both showing and rewarding behavior that is closer to what we want. 

We reward small steps that move the dolphin closer to the final behavior. These are called approximations. If the dolphin swims near the right spot—reinforcement. If it jumps a little—reinforcement. If it starts to spin—reinforcement.

Each attempt doesn’t have to be perfect. It just has to be a little closer to the desired behavior. Over time, those approximations add up  and lead to the behavior we have been working towards them learning. 

And ... I'm going to let you in on a little secret. Dolphins never do any behavior perfectly. They may do something reliably (like - more often than less often when given the signal). But perfection is not something any animal trainer expects from their animals. It's just not a realistic goal. 

Humans work the same way.

Stop Chasing Perfection. Start Rewarding Progress.

The key insight is this: no behavior is ever truly perfect. We’re always refining, always improving. The healthiest mindset shift you can make is to stop expecting perfection from yourself and instead aim for incremental successive progress.

Did you do a little better than last time? That’s success.
Did you move one step closer to your goal? That’s success.
Did you learn something useful—even from failure? That’s success too.

By celebrating small wins, you create momentum. By focusing on improvement instead of perfection, you unlock resilience. 

If you are a leader - please apply this to your team! Reward them for improvement. Don't punish them for not being perfect. 

Applying Successive Approximation to Yourself

  • Break it down. Don’t aim for the whole behavior at once. What’s the next small step you can take or learn?

  • Track progress, not perfection. Keep your eye on improvement over time, not flawless performance.

  • Reinforce the attempt. Acknowledge and celebrate your effort, even if the result wasn’t ideal.

  • Never “finish” learning. Even once you’re skilled, you can keep refining. Improvement never stops.

This approach doesn’t just reduce stress—it makes learning stick. You’re rewiring your brain through practice, repetition, and reinforcement.

A Humanistic Shift in Perspective

Instead of saying, “I failed because I wasn’t perfect,” you begin to say, “I’m succeeding because I’m improving.”

That’s a radical, freeing shift. And it’s not just about learning new tricks—it’s about how you approach leadership, relationships, and life itself.

Want to Learn How to Apply This in Practice?

I teach these techniques in my course, Mastering the Five Managerial Superpowers. It’s all about using behavioral psychology to hack your brain, improve your leadership skills, and create lasting change—not by aiming for perfection, but by practicing better.

Because the goal isn’t to be perfect. The goal is to improve.

What does it mean to be a Humanist?

 A few weeks back I gave a talk to a local stoic group. They asked me to explain Humanism to their stoic group. I must have done well because they asked if I could lecture to them every week.  ummm, no. But, I was glad they found what I had to say helpful.


So, for my audience, a quick lesson on stoicism. Stoicism is a philosophy. They defined philosophy as a kind of practice or exercise (askêsis) in the expertise concerning what is beneficial. In this way, it's similar to Humanism, which can be thought of as the applied study of what it means to be a good human being. So it's no wonder that they found learning about the Humanist approach to philosophy so engaging. Here is more if you are interested in learning more: https://plato.stanford.edu/entries/stoicism/ 

The talk I gave them was this one, but modified slightly to be open for Q&A. In it, I take the definition of Humanism from the American Humanist Association and break out each segment to explain why each element of the definition is included to create a holistic philosophy of life.   Hope you enjoy. 


Consider Humanism

 If you are looking around for a philosophy or religion that works better than your current worldview, consider Humanism. 


I am obviously biased, but I do think Humanism is a better way of going through life than all the other alternatives. 

1) It's adaptable. We don't have a dogma. Either things are true or they aren't. If we find out something we believed isn't true, we accept reality. This allows us to more effectively and quickly adapt to the situations we find ourselves in. It also makes it easier to adapt to change.

2) It's reality based. I can't overstate how helpful this is in problem solving.

3) It's compassionate and loving. Humanism is first and foremost about loving life and loving humanity. And that means love in all it's varied dimensions from altruism to passion. Love is simply a wonderful lens through which to experience life.

4) It's about being responsible. We have the ability and therefore we have the responsibility to fix our problems. We can make the world a better place for us all to live in and we have a moral obligation to work towards that.

5) It provides meaning and purpose in an otherwise impersonal universe.  We choose to love. We choose to be responsible. We choose to be reality based and we choose to adapt. These choices, impact everything. Loving people provides motivation and purpose. Responsibility provides impetus and motivation. 

I live my life in a state of general contentedness and happiness. I always wake up feeling motivated. Does any of it matter in the grand scheme of things? Nope. But it matters to me in the here and now and that is actually enough.

Simply put, Humanism works for me, and for the many other Humanists who are making a mark on the world and who have, throughout history, changed the world.  Many of the most influential thinkers in history, were humanists or humanistic in their approach.

So .... if you are thinking about your religious or philosophic options, consider Humanism. 

I have online courses, may of them free that will give you an introduction: https://humanistlearning.com/category/lifeskills/philosophy/

And there are lots of books on the subject: https://humanistlearning.com/category/shop/humanism101/


: Combining philosophy, science and education to create more diverse workforces.


Purpose: To move forward the discussion on how to use science, humanistic philosophy, and education to help workplaces reap the benefits of diverse workplaces while avoiding the problems caused by diversity.


Abstract:

This paper will discuss the benefits and challenges of employing a diverse workforce and discuss ways we can use behavioral science and humanistic philosophy to help businesses reap the benefits of a diverse workforce while avoiding the problems that arise when working with a group of diverse individuals, specifically focusing on how to use science to eliminate problems with discrimination, harassment and retaliation which make the creation of truly diverse workforces so difficult to achieve.

To successfully change corporate culture to be more inclusive, we need philosophy to provide people with adequate reasons why it benefits them personally to embrace a diverse workforce. This is a challenge that is best addressed through the use of humanistic philosophy. Once a work team has decided to embrace diversity, they then need to learn specific skills and techniques to defuse the conflicts that arise and how to effectively deal with harassment and discrimination so that all employees feel protected in the workgroup. These skills and techniques are best addressed by applying behavioral science techniques to the problem behaviors.


Discussion:

Diverse workforces benefit employers and employees[i], but attempts to create diverse workforces are hampered by a myriad of problems.

People coming from diverse backgrounds have different life experiences, different triggers, different world views, different assumptions and different goals. How we talk to one another respectfully and further, understand what is being said, is not always easy. We all have implicit biases[ii] that may prevent us from accurately perceiving the other person and their motives.

Our difficulty in seeing other people accurately and without bias is hampered by the fact that humans, as a species, are tribal animals. We instinctually feel safe around people we perceive to be like us and are frightened by those we perceive to be “other.” [iii] There are a variety of ways our tribal instincts can be triggered, but once they are triggered, creating a cohesive group out of diverse individuals becomes exponentially harder.

Humanistic philosophy can help us bridge those differences. It helps us bring the “other” person into a common tribe which helps us to override our tribal instincts so we can view the other person as “ethical.”  Humanism also provides us with a common moral language we can use to create consensus and resolve differences.
Diversity problems in the workplace manifest in a variety of ways and stem from a variety of causes. This is why diversity is such a “wicked” problem to solve.
A combination of humanistic philosophy and applied science can help us fix these problems so that we can reap the benefit of diverse workforces.

There are 3 major problems we need to solve to create diverse yet cohesive work groups. We need to hire more diverse workforces. We need to solve the problem of social exclusion that prevents diverse work groups from creating cohesion and leads to harassment and discrimination in the workplace. And we need to help people more effectively deal with and resolve disagreements so that our tribal instincts don’t kick in and turn what should be a rational disagreement into an irrational divisive conflict. 

The Challenge of overcoming implicit and explicit bias in personnel decisions.

We now know that our ability and willingness to hire diverse workforces is complicated by our implicit and sometimes explicit biases.[iv] We all have biases and that our biases impact our hiring decisions, firing decisions, promotion decisions and more. We cannot fix our diversity problem without better understanding of how implicit biases work so that we can take affirmative action and hire people we wouldn’t normally hire because of our biases. Otherwise biases will continue control hiring decisions and our businesses will suffer as a result.

Humanistic philosophy can help us work past our biases and science can help us develop techniques so that we can work to ensure our biases don’t negatively impact our personnel decisions.

The Challenge of Eliminating Social Exclusion


Social exclusion is the process in which individuals or people are systematically blocked from (or denied full access to) various rights, opportunities and resources that are normally available to members of a different group, the “ingroup.”

Social exclusion can happen for a variety of reasons. Sometimes it’s a result of bias, but it can also be a result of competition for resources in the workplace where individuals may dehumanize their co-workers through bullying, a technique that helps them gain access to resources and minimize the influence their target has in the workplace.

For example: social exclusion appears to be the main aim of workplace bullying or harassment. Evolutionary psychologists[v] have shown that bullying is adaptive behavior. Bullying can be thought of as a tool of group control.  People who can control access to a group through social inclusion and exclusion wield a lot of power.

Humans have an instinctual need to “belong” to ingroups and exclusion is felt as physical pain[vi]. Our instinctual fear of being socially ostracized allows bullies to manipulate group dynamics and control them. The bully might not be biased against their target, they are merely using the threat of social exclusion to control a group. They do this by marking their target tribally as “other” to encourage social exclusion of the target. Anyone who is perceived as different can be marked as “other” this way. Since no one wants to be excluded, our instinct is to seek inclusion in the form of currying the favor of the person perceived to have the power to include or exclude people from the group.

To create a diverse yet cohesive workgroup, social exclusion cannot be tolerated. The challenge is how to make social exclusion behavior stop. Currently 152 countries have laws prohibiting discrimination in the workplace. Several countries and state jurisdictions mandate harassment training and yet, harassment and discrimination continue, and vulnerable people are excluded from our workplaces as a result. Laws prohibiting discrimination are not enough.

Solving this problem will require a combination of humanistic philosophy and behavioral science. Humanistic philosophy will help us resist efforts by bullies to marginalize and label people as “other.” Behavioral science will help us extinguish the unwanted exclusionary behavior. 

Scientists have known for decades how to stop unwanted behavior including exclusionary behavior, like bullying and harassment.  Specifically, the science of behavioral extinction not only explains why attempts to stop this behavior results in an escalation of behavior otherwise known as retaliation, but it provides us with the tools we need to get it to stop. We need to start applying these techniques to the problem of bullying, harassment and discrimination in the workplace so that diverse individuals are no longer subjected to social exclusion in the workplace.

The challenge of De-Escalating Conflicts to maintain group cohesion


Diverse workgroups means that there is diversity of opinion. Problem solving is never an easy task. People with different skills sets, knowledge bases and experience, approach problem solving differently. This can lead to disagreements that if they remain unresolved, can cause conflict.
When we find ourselves in conflict our tribal biases kick in making resolution of the disagreement harder. Unfortunately, some people have learned that if they use bullying and/or aggression to stigmatize the other person, it increases the chances of their viewpoints being adopted. This technique, while a successful strategy for the person employing it, negatively impacts the problem-solving process and is experienced as harassment and discrimination by the person on the receiving end of this sort of bullying behavior.

Thomas and Killman describe five approaches humans take to resolving conflict.[vii] Two of these approaches are considered counterproductive. The three remaining ones form the basis of most of the advice on how to resolve conflicts.

The first step in any conflict management program is to attempt to get both sides to see each other as part of the same tribe so that the tribal aggression and defenses that are preventing rational discussion from taking place are eliminated. Humanistic philosophy is essential to this effort.
Humanism can also help us develop communication strategies to help us find common ground in the problem-solving process and to resolve disagreements by using a shared set of values and moral approach.

Science should also be employed. We can use the same behavioral techniques we use to eliminate bullying and harassment to de-escalate conflict behavior to set the stage for humanistic communication strategies to take root. We can also use what is learned from sociology on group dynamics and decision making to help us better manage disagreements so that they don’t devolve into conflict. The goal is to help teams focus on collaborative problem solving as a team instead of allowing the team to fracture into warring tribes.

Transformative approach


Philosophy on its own is not enough and science on its own is not enough. Combining philosophy, science and education can create positive social change in corporate culture

Humanistic philosophy helps us tweak our thinking so that we can overcome our biases, see our colleagues as members of our in-group/tribe and encourages us to be compassionate and patient with them when disagreements arise. It also provides us with the motivation and the knowledge we need to resist attempts by bullies to manipulate us through social exclusion.

Science can provide us with a complimentary toolset needed to resist our biases so they no longer control our decision making processes. We can use behavioral science strategies to establish new cultural norms that reinforce respectful behavior in the workplace and collaborative problem solving. We can also use behavioral science to help eliminate social exclusionary behavior that prevents diverse work groups from becoming cohesive.

A holistic approach that combines the best of humanistic philosophy with applied science can help us transform our approach so that the promise of social inclusion becomes a reality.

           


[ii] Greenwald et al (1995), Implicit social cognition: Attitudes, self-esteem, and stereotypes.  Retrieved from http://psycnet.apa.org/record/1995-17407-001
[iii] Daniel Druckman (1994), Nationalism, Patriotism, and Group Loyalty: A Social Psychological Perspective. Retrieved from https://academic.oup.com/isr/article-abstract/38/Supplement_1/43/1813806
[iv] Catherine Ellis (1994), Diverse approaches to managing diversity. Retrieved from http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1002/hrm.3930330106/full
[v] Kevin MacDonald (1996) What do Children Want? A Conceptualisation of Evolutionary Influences on Children's Motivation in the Peer Group. Retrieved from http://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/016502549601900105
[vi] G. Novembre, M. Zanon, G. Silani. (2014), Empathy for social exclusion involves the sensory-discriminative component of pain: a within-subject fMRI study. Social Cognitive and Affective Neuroscience. Retrieved from https://academic.oup.com/scan/article/10/2/153/1652379  
[vii] Kenneth W. Thomas and Ralph H. Kilmann (2015), An Overview of the Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument (TKI). Retrieved from http://www.kilmanndiagnostics.com/overview-thomas-kilmann-conflict-mode-instrument-tki



The Edicts of King Asoka

Dhamma is good, but what constitutes Dhamma?
(It includes) little evil, much good, kindness,
generosity, truthfulness and purity.
King Asoka

I watched a movie about the life of King Asoka (starring Shahrukh Khan). Because not a lot is known about the man, it’s a fictionalized account. However, it does include the battle at Kalinga which was supposed to be really rather violent and vicious and a turning point in Asoka's life. After that Asoka becomes king and a Buddhist. He is credited with spreading Buddhism throughout Asia.

What survive of his writings are his Edicts – written into stone. For more information and complete translated text visit: http://www.accesstoinsight.org/lib/authors/dhammika/wheel386.html)

In his edicts King Asoka encouraged:

  • Respect towards other (parents, teachers, servants etc), 
  • Generosity towards the poor, 
  • Harmlessness towards all life (which is interesting for a guy who killed so many people), 
  • Moderation in spending and in saving,
  • Treating people properly was apparently more important than any ceremony,
  • He encouraged tolerance and respect,
  • He thought all people should be well learned in the “good doctrines” of other people’s religions (in other words those doctrines that promoted tolerance, love, compassion, respect etc), 


The qualities of heart (personal virutues) that are recommended by Asoka in the edicts include: kindness (daya), self-examination (palikhaya), truthfulness (sace), gratitude (katamnata), purity of heart (bhava sudhi), enthusiasm (usahena), strong loyalty (dadha bhatita), self-control (sayame) and love of the Dhamma (Dhamma kamata - the rules of how to act).

Sounds a lot like Humanism to me.

Why is Humanism so Important?

Philosophy isn’t what we think. It’s how we think. It’s the framework within which we do our thinking.

Your thinking, to a certain extent, is constrained by your philosophy. If you want to free your thinking from it’s built in constraints it’s a good idea to consider why you think what you think. In other words, it’s a good idea to reconsider your operating philosophy to ensure that it’s still working well for you.

And this is why I promote Humanism. Humanism is a practical philosophy. Our goal is to do good and to be good so that we can thrive and be happy and hopefully help other people along the way.

It seems simplistic, but this basic framework for how we think has some really nice attributes. For one, it is a philosophy about always needing to improve. We are never finished. That’s a feature of the philosophy, not a defect!

In order to do and be good we have to know what good is and means. And this requires thinking. It requires reality based decision making. It requires compassion – which isn’t easy to apply to other people and it means taking personal responsibility to do- because it is only through doing that we are.

I was asked recently what I think the most important thing Humanism has done for society. My answer is humanistic medicine. Reality based, science backed, compassionate care means we no longer treat things like epilepsy as demonic possession problems. It also means we don't house mentally ill in insane asylums to keep those demon possessed folk away from the rest of us.

Compassion and Science - powerful tools for improving society and for the individuals who inhabit that society. Humanism matters because humans matter.

Epicurus said:
“Let no one be slow to seek wisdom when he is young nor weary in the search of it when he has grown old. For no age is too early or too late for the health of the soul. And to say that the season for studying philosophy has not yet come, or that it is past and gone, is like saying that the season for happiness is not yet or that it is now no more. Therefore, both old and young alike ought to seek wisdom, the former in order that, as age comes over him, he may be young in good things because of the grace of what has been, and the latter in order that, while he is young, he may at the same time be old, because he has no fear of the things which are to come. So we must exercise ourselves in the things which bring happiness, since, if that be present, we have everything, and, if that be absent, all our actions are directed towards attaining it.”

To learn more about Humanism - consider reading Jen Hancock's Handy Humanism Handbook
Living Made Simpler - a Humanist Approach
Or, if you are ready to do some deep thinking about your thinking habits, consider taking Living Made Simpler - a 6 hour online workshop that will help you better define who you are and how you want to live your life. https://humanistlearning.com/livingmadesimpler1/


Good news about happiness and purpose

Research shows that doing good deeds, makes us feel happy.

I am a Humanist educator. I teach people how and why to be moral and why being moral will help lead to happiness.  This is philosophy. Humanist philosophy.  But it turns out that this approach is backed up by – science.

YourMorals – is a empirically based blog about morality.  They publish and comment on research into morality. They recently published a wonderful article about every day moral life – see (http://www.yourmorals.org/blog/2014/09/some-good-news-about-everyday-moral-life/)

This article is about a study of 1,252 participants who were asked 5 times a day if they had experienced any moral or immoral acts and how they felt.

Their main findings?

Participants reported committing and receiving more moral than immoral acts but learned about twice as many immoral than moral acts. In other words, we definitely experience more good than bad, but we like to gossip about the bad.

They also found that most moral or immoral acts were about three dimensions: Honesty, Liberty/oppression, and Self Discipline.  The first two is how people interact with you – the third is how we ourselves decide to act.

Finally, it’s not surprising to find that “being treated morally increased one’s happiness and being treated immorally decreased it. What is more intriguing is that the greatest increase in a sense of purpose and meaning in life came after reports of having acted morally oneself.”

What can we take away from all this?  Well first, that I am right and you should read my books on Humanism.

2nd, that morality really is all about how we ourselves want to be treated.  And that the best way to ensure that others treat us well is to do and be good ourselves.

But most importantly, if you want to be happy, you have to have a purpose in life that involves being good and helping others.   Or as a Humanist would say – life a life of ethical fulfillment that aspires to the greater good of humanity!

Or to quote the article: “our moment-to-moment happiness depends on (how we are treated by) others, our larger sense of purpose in life is our own doing.” Be good my friends.

Real Life and Minecraft

Humanist philosophy of life when considering how Minecraft is like real life?

My son is addicted to Minecraft. One day he asked me what would it be like if Minecraft were real. So we went to YouTube to find a video on real life and Minecraft.  This is what we found.

And it’s really profound.  Minecraft has no story – no purpose – just like real life.  You can do anything you want. The purpose of what you are trying to accomplish in Minecraft is whatever you decide to do.  My son uses it to build replicas of famous monuments and forts and farms and trading posts and temples and libraries. Right now he is obsessed with Alexandria so he’s working on a lighthouse and a library and some underwater structures.

Does any of this matter in real life? No. When he logs off or deletes his account, it will all be gone.  Just like in real life.  Whatever we do will have no effect on the ultimate outcome.  Except, what we do does impact the people we are playing this game of life with.

To paraphrase Nullitron - Life is a sandbox game. You can do whatever you want and eventually, you will die or quit the game.  While you are there, enjoy it. Don’t worry about the time when you won’t be playing it anymore. And remember, while you might not be playing it anymore, countless others will, after you are gone. So try to make it a game where everyone can have fun.


Living Wisely as Humanists

Do Humanists really know something others don’t?


I don’t think so. It’s more the combination of what we know with how we choose to approach life that seems to work so well.

For instance, almost every self-help coach selling their “wisdom” in the market place is teaching concepts familiar to Humanists.  I am always amused at how often Humanists are quoted by motivational experts for instance  (Helen Keller and Albert Einstein appear to be favorites).

What annoys me is that almost all these experts use the motivational aspects of the Humanist philosophy and ignore the decision making aspects of the philosophy.

Don’t get me wrong, the motivational aspects of Humanism are hugely important. Without proper motivation, we aren’t motivated to do much of anything.  The problem is that these motivational experts don’t teach the rest of the philosophy. It’s not enough to be motivated to do good, if you can’t figure out what a good thing to do is. It’s not enough to take personal responsibility to making your life better, if you have no idea how, exactly to do that.

And that’s the real problem we all face.  The question is not whether we want to lives of personal fulfillment that aspire to the greater good of humanity. Almost everyone does.  The problem is very few know how exactly to do that.

Which is why Humanists don’t spend a lot of time on motivation, except to remind ourselves to not wait for someone else to solve our problems for us.  Instead, we spend our time figuring out how best to solve our problems using our intellect.  Once we have a good idea of how to solve our problems, the rest is just doing it.

Just do it – is a nice slogan, but it’s probably best if you spend some time thinking about what it is you want to do before you do it. That way, when you do do it, the results are likely to be good.

If you are in the market for self help, don’t limit yourself to feel good woo based options. Seek out Humanist self help so that you can actually learn the critical thinking skills needed to make wise decisions.

(see https://humanistlearning.com) for more information on programs you can benefit from.

Philosophy: Super Hero Style

I want this!

It’s a comic book about a superhero name Supergatari who meets philosophers throughout time to overthrow the old paradigm called Supergatari: History of World Philosophy

I have no idea if it is any good. But I want it anyway.   It seems like it would be a fun way to learn about important philosophers and their basic teachings without having to read through pages and pages and pages of mind numbing philosophy books.

Do I sound cranky?  Yeah – probably just philosopher’s envy coming through.

I still want to check it out.

Here is a silly video ala star wars starring Supergatari – This guy is clearly a Tarantino fan.

Makes me wonder though – if I were a superhero – what would I be?  I wonder if Supergatari would approve of me?

Blame vs. Responsibility.


Why taking responsibility for your problems works better.


I am a big fan of personal responsibility. To me, responsibility is one of the pillars of the Humanist philosophy, along with critical thinking and compassion. There is a reason for that and that is because being responsible makes life easier.

There is a great article at Forbes about how blaming others for your problems makes your stress worse and why it is better to own up and take responsibility for your actions and your problems, whether you caused them or not.

One of the first reasons why the blame game is bad is because blame is rooted in fear and instead of assuaging your fears by blaming others, all that does is create more fear, not less. There is a reason for this.

When you blame others, you place the solution to your problems on others.  And that’s a problem because you can’t control others. You can only control yourself.  So, instead of helping you to regain control over a situation that is out of control, when you blame others, you are giving control over what happens to you to others. And that’s pretty scary.

A better response when something goes wrong, is to focus on responsibly solving the problem. What went wrong, how are we going to fix it and who is responsible for making sure it is fixed?  This is a much better approach to problem solving than – who is to blame and can we throw them under a bus in a panicked attempt to solve our problem without actually doing anything proactive to solve it?

The question I always ask people is do you actually want to solve your problem?  Or do you want to pretend to solve your problem?  Most people default to pretending to solve their problems not realizing how many additional problems that causes.

Don’t get caught in this trap. Take responsibility. Reduce your fears and start working proactively to solve your problems. You will be less stressed and less fearful if you do.

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