Project Human

Capitalizing Human. Making it your primary identification. A statement of Humanism. 

Whenever I get edited, editors try to put "Humanism" as a lowercase "humanism."  I insist on it being capitalized - as you would capitalize Christianity, or Islam, or Buddhism.  It's a proper identity and should be treated as such.

The group - Project Human - feels the same way about the word, "Human."  And I agree. Human should be our primary identity - that's why I am a Humanist.   Here is a video about turning Human into a proper noun. 

And a link to their website: https://www.capitalizehuman.org/

Being Human - choir edition

Part of being a Humanist is treating other people with dignity. 

I came across this video the other day. It is about a choir that recruited in homeless women to participate. The video focuses on 2 women in particular. What makes the video so compelling as a study in Humanism is that both women say they feel human again. They say it repeatedly – and it’s what makes them cry.

The people in the choir - treat them as if they are human. They know they are seen as human by the other members of the choir. And it makes them feel like they are human.

THIS – recognition of other people’s humanity – is what Humanism is all about.

Everyone has dignity and worth. We don't always treat people as if they have worth - but we should.  And when we do - we make the world just a little bit brighter. 

Who do you want to be?

A better question is: what sort of person do you want to be?

We all have a self image. We see ourselves as a certain sort of person.  Usually, we are the heros of any story or conflict. We are doing good, or what we think is good. Most of us value compassion, honesty and ethical behavior.

But how many of us really live up to our values in the day to day struggle of living? Do you cut corners?  Are you compassionate with the people in front of you at the supermarket?  Do you cheat on your taxes?  How about telling little white lies to get a discount somewhere?

We all take short cuts in our daily lives.  What I want you to consider is why?  And whether you should continue.

Who do you want to be? Really. What is it you value? Then I want you to ask yourself when confronted with ethical dilemmas, what would the ideal you do in this situation?  Once you know the answer to that question, you know what you should do.

There is nothing stopping you from being a better you except you. So don’t take short cuts. Chose to do the right thing.

If you find you are having trouble changing, consider learning more about the science of how behaviors are changed. It really can help: https://humanistlearning.com/change1/

Things they don’t tell you before getting married.

To be happily married, you really need to be ok around farts, pissing and burps.

Marriage is a lot of things. It’s a partnership. It’s a legal arrangement. It’s hard work. It’s a blessing.  Marriage is also about sharing living space. And the basics of living involve eating, drinking, breathing, pooping and pissing. Everything else is optional.

Most married couples live together. And this is great, because it means, you can have sex, in your own bed and not have to drive home afterward.  It also means you have to share your closet. And decorating your shared living space means compromise.

It also means, you are probably going to share a toilet and bathroom and shower.  And this is where we carry out our most basic functions of living.  Sure, eating and drinking – those are fun and social. They are done in the shared living spaces, like the kitchen and dining room. No problem there.  But pooping and peeing?  Yeah – those we tend to want to do alone, in the bathroom. Alone!

I don’t know about you – but performance anxiety has withheld many a bladder. And – do I really want my man to be in the next room when I poop? Not really.

Humans are gross in many ways. When you live with someone, you live with their farts and burps and poops and pisses too. And if you aren’t OK with that, you should maybe consider not getting married. Because that’s part of the package.

I’ve been married over a decade now and I am still happily in love. And I have a child. Which means, privacy in the bathroom?  Yeah – it’s a luxury.  Do I mind?  Not really. I’m ok with it.  I love my husband and son and I’m not under any illusions that they don’t poop or pee. They do. It’s a basic function of life.  I do too.

Being comfortable around the farts and burps means we can relax and don’t have to pretend that we don’t.  And that’s wonderful.

Being Beautifully Human

Tips from Self Help Gurus that resonate with me as a Humanist

Marc and Angel – they have a self-help blog that apparently has 102k readers.  Yeah – I’m a bit jealous. Anyway – they had a post – 12 rules for being beautifully human. And I loved it (http://www.marcandangel.com/2014/01/01/12-rules-for-being-beautifully-human/)   

Here is their list – for those of you too lazy to click through – you know who you are. Just be aware that they actually explain the details of all these rules and the nuance of why they included them and why they are important and why they work. Anyway – here are the rules – without the nuance.

1.  Live one day at a time.

2.  Be OK with not being OK all the time.

3.  Earn the best days of your life.

4.  When your intuition begs you to listen, listen.

5.  Look within for the answers you seek.

6.  Dare to challenge the status quo.

7.  Work hard when hard work is required.

8.  Appreciate your blessings.

9.  Use your voice to support the truth.

10.  Practice kindness with an open mind.

11.  Nurture your important relationships.

12.  Let life guide you.

How to talk to people as if they were human

3 tips to improve your interpersonal communications

The problem with being human is that we are pretty much stuck inside our own heads.  From our point of view, the world kind of revolves around us.  All interactions we experience involve us. When people talk to us, we are experiencing only our emotions and how the other person makes us feel. We may be intellectually aware of the other person’s emotions, but what concerns us most, is our own response to what is going on.

This self-centeredness interferes with interpersonal communications and relationships. Why? Because it causes us to misinterpret and misunderstand what the other person is really trying to communicate.  So here are 3 tips to help you improve your interpersonal communications by helping you learn to talk to the other person as if they were actually human.

1) Respect – the other person isn’t you. They are them. Respect their individuality and autonomy.  You don’t know exactly what they are experiencing or why they are experiencing it. If they are emotional, it may be about you, but it may not. Don’t assume you know. They may have had a bad day or gotten bad news. Don’t assume they are reacting to what you are reacting to because they aren’t. They are living in their own little world and if you respect that, you will respect them and you will improve your communications and relationships because people like to be respected. And no, this isn’t something you can fake.


2) Step Back – accept that your understanding of what is going on is flawed. You are experiencing the communication from your point of view. They are experiencing it from their point of view. It is possible to consciously step back from your point of view to actively consider the other person’s point of view. And a rather “magical” thing happens when you do that. You come to understand the other person better and the other person is more likely to feel “heard.” This will again, improve your communications and interpersonal relationships.


3) Compassion – if things are tense, accept that they are. That doesn't mean you have to be tense. In fact, if one person in a conflict de-escalates, it improves the chances that the other person will as well. So, if you find yourself getting angry, have compassion for yourself and remember, it’s OK to be angry. But will that serve you well right now? Probably not. Make a conscious choice to not be the center of the universe for a short period of time and extend your compassion to the other person. This usually helps defuse and de-escalate things, which will work to your advantage. And if it doesn't de-escalate them, because they are so wound up they can’t calm down, you won’t be part of the problem.

Human Exceptionalism

Humanists are not human exceptionalists.  Don’t get me wrong. We like being human, but we are also aware that as a species, we aren't necessarily that wonderfully adapted to life. After all, we have only been around a few hundred thousand years and tardigrades have survived several mass extinctions in their current form. We humans, on the other hand, seem intent on causing our own mass extinction.

Which is why claims that humanists are human exceptionalists is so bizarre.  All we are saying, when we say we are humanists, is that given the fact I am a human, I’m going to try and be a good human, whatever being good means in any given situation.

I think what happens is that people who grew up with a religious worldview, which consider humans the pinnacle of creation, when they reject that worldview for very good reasons, are wary of anything that seems to hint at a similarly stupid view of humanity. So when these people hear about humanism, they assume it means that we consider humans the pinnacle of creation and they recoil from that thought – for good reason, it’s a stupid and scientifically inaccurate viewpoint. What they fail to do is ask any actual humanists if we think that way, they just assume we do, because the same religious leaders who told them that humans are special, also told them that Humanists are evil for thinking that humans are special. For the record, we don’t think humans are all that special. We have a scientific mindset and that puts us squarely in the realm of us humans being just another species.

So, if you like our Humanist ethics, but you are concerned that humanists are egocentric assholes who don’t understand science and have some weird ideas about human superiority, please consider that that idea, may actually be baggage from your religious upbringing and you may be projecting that onto us. Because it’s not actually reflective of how actual Humanists think.

For more on this please read James Croft’s lovely essay on Why Humanists are not Human Exceptionalists - http://www.patheos.com/blogs/templeofthefuture/2014/01/humanists-are-not-human-exceptionalists/