Showing posts with label ethical development. Show all posts
Showing posts with label ethical development. Show all posts

Giving Voice to Your Values

 I had the pleasure of interviewing Mary Gentile for the Teaching Teachers to Teach Values program for the International Humanistic Management Association. 

As this involves giving voice to your values and because I am all about giving voice to values - specifically humanistic values, I wanted to share what I learned from her here.

In her presentation, Ms. Gentile pointed out that a lot of what Giving Voice to Values (GVV) is about, is asking and answering different questions. For instance, instead of asking what the right thing to do is, ask how you can do the right thing.  Then, practice saying whatever it is you are going to say.  The purpose is to give people practice at acting ethically in ethically challenging situations.  This is like creating muscle memory through repetition so that when someone is challenged, they will behave ethically even if their mind is scared. 

To teach these, she focuses on clear cut ethical situations. She then poses the question, how do you get the right thing done. This is about behaving ethically, not just thinking critically about ethical behavior.  It is for the pragmatists who want to be ethical, but aren't sure if they can be effective if they speak up and give voice to their values. By helping them practice this, it helps them see themselves behaving ethically and by their values in difficult situations.

This does work cross culturally. She focuses on what she calls Hypernorms, or Super values, that are shared with all humans. The cultural differences are about what unethical behavior is tolerated in each culture and how and whether people tolerate it or speak up about it. The training on this is to help people imagine what they would do if they could to combat unethical behavior. 

When she teaches this in a cross cultural environment she does 5 things.

  • Acknowledge the reality of the local culture and the problems with being ethical in that culture
  • Respect those difference and the fact that most people are NOT thrilled with whatever the reality is.
  • Conduct thought experiments on what if you could do something to change that, what would that be?
  • She provides real life examples from that culture or nation of someone who has confronted the unethical culture successfully. This helps give people a sense of pride and that yes, WE can do it, whoever the WE is.
  • She explains the metaphor of using one's voice doesn't necessarily mean - yelling or ranting. It can be many things. It's about giving voice to YOUR values and encouraging you to think of ways to handle difficult situations with your ethics intact and then to practice them. 

Her websites have free resources

https://www.ignited.global/ihma/blog/mary-gentile-giving-voice-values-teaching-teachers-teach-values-video 


Ethics requires courage


As a Humanist parent, like all parents, I want my son to succeed. More importantly, my hope is that he will become ethically courageous. I know that he will be well served if he can become confident in himself. 



Whether it is dealing with bullies or doing the right thing in a difficult situation, the problem seems to be one of confidence. If they are confident in themselves, they will have the courage they need to stand up and be ethical.

The problem with this is that teaching kids to be confident doesn’t help them. That is because confidence isn’t something you can teach. It has to be earned. The real question we should be asking is how to encourage kids, and adults for that matter, to learn the skills they need so that they can overcome the challenges they face so that they can become confident as individuals. The answer is in the root of encourage. And that is courage.

With my son, our biggest challenge is to get him to try. He has fears and in order to teach him new skills, we have to help him overcome those fears. Even learning to ride a bicycle required him to overcome the fear of falling. Our job is to help him find the courage to try and try again until he succeeds. As he succeeds, he gains confidence.

The same holds true to being an ethical person. The will to be good is there. The challenge is to be courageous enough to stand up for what is right. There are no shortcuts that work.

Part of being a Humanist is to choose to live life courageously. We don’t expect things to be easy. We expect to have to work to overcome the challenges we all face in life. So don’t focus on helping your child to be confident. Help them to be courageous instead. Having courage will serve them better throughout the course of their lives than being overly confident will.

How do you find courage? How do you help your child overcome his or her fears to become courageous? 

How to recover from losing your cool


4 Strategies for recovering from out of control emotions



It happens to the best of us. We all lose our cool sometimes. Even me! The question is, what are you going to do about it?  How can we best deal with the fact that even with the best intentions, we will not be at our best all of the time?

The goal of a Humanist is to be the best most ethical person we can be. That is easier said than done. Here are 4 strategies for recovering from these episodes as rationally, compassionately and effectively as you can.
  •  Make it a habit: The more you practice being a good person, the more of a habit it becomes.  This not only makes being a good person easier, it also means that our instincts will steer us towards better behavior when we are under stress. This is important because it is when we are under stress that we are most likely to behave inappropriately. Make being good a habit and you are less likely to do something stupid when stressed.
  • Find Compassion for yourself. Even with the best of intentions, we all have our moments. Forgive yourself when this happens and focus on what you can do to a) make amends and b) avoid a recurrence in the future.
  •  Find the root cause of your problem. Do you have a blood sugar problem? Are you trying to control another person inappropriately and getting mad that you are failing? Knowing why you are losing your cool is essential if you are going to get your bad behavior under control in the future. Figure out why and then figure out a plan to avoid these problems in the future. 
  • Take responsibility for the future. You might have lost your cool, but that doesn't mean you have to continue to lose your cool. Take responsibility for your actions. That means not only trying to make amends, but doing what you need to do to not repeat your performance. If you don’t take responsibility for your emotions, you will continue to have problems.

Losing your cool is embarrassing. How do you control your angers and/or your fears? What strategies do you use? What works, what makes things worse? 

Ten Humanist Commitments


We Humanists don’t do commandments. We do, however, feel very strongly about our commitments to others.  This is why the Kochhar Humanist Education Center has issued 10 Humanist Commitments to Education.  These are the values Humanists feel should be taught in our schools.  http://cohe.humanistinstitute.org/?page_id=14747

The website also includes resources in case you want to teach your own children these values and skills. For the record, the 10 values Humanist feel we should be committed to teaching our children are:

  1. Altruism
  2. Caring for the World Around Us
  3. Critical Thinking
  4. Empathy
  5. Ethical Development
  6. Global Awareness
  7. Humility
  8. Peace and Social Justice
  9. Responsibility
  10. Service and Participation

 “This ethical mission is an essential part of all education, public and private, elementary through high school and university.  In a democratic and pluralist society, we believe that the values presented should be the moral foundation of education.”

If you agree – add your name to the document. http://cohe.humanistinstitute.org/?page_id=14747
Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...