Try to love people - every day

One of my LinkedIn friends asked what I thought was a very profound question the other day. What are you doing that nobody else is doing?

This was a marketing question - he said "In order to set yourself apart, you have to be memorable and remarkable. What do you do on a daily basis that truly makes you stand out?" 

He then added the hashtags - #fulfillment #meaning #purpose #journeytocloudnine #happiness
https://www.linkedin.com/feed/update/urn:li:activity:6631509485858889728/

I didn't hesitate to answer: I teach people how to make bullying and harassment stop using science and compassion. And I love this question.  The thing I try to do every day - is love. Myself, my family and my friends and the people I come in contact with.  I try to make people feel loved.  My grandma told me when I was young - that I was put on this earth to love people - and that is what I've tried to do ever since.

And then I realized - all this time I've been burying my lede.  I have been telling people what I can do for them - but not WHY I teach what I teach.

Everything I do and teach is grounded in love and is done out of love and is about promoting love.

• Stopping bullying, it is about love. 
• Humanistic management? It’s about love.  
• Teaching people humanistic philosophy – it’s about love. 

Everything – is about love. It’s my core motivation for everything.

I feel like I’ve had an epiphany. So watch my website - I am literally going to go through all my marketing materials – and make the concept of love – front and center. 

https://humanistlearning.com/

Grattiude 2017

This has been a tough year for everyone. Emotionally, politically, economically and - well - just super stressful. Is there anything to be grateful about?  Yes. In fact, it’s times like this when we need to be grateful the most.

I say this a lot about compassion but it’s also true of gratitude. Gratitude isn’t something you do for someone else. It’s something you do for you.  It may also help the other person, but even if it doesn’t, it will definitely help you.

We humans spend a LOT of time in our own heads. We worry. We fret. We have angst and insecurities and doubts and fears.  When we take to the time to take stock of our lives, specifically focusing on the things that are good, a wonderful thing happens. We fret just a little less.  We remind ourselves that yes – life is worth living. That there is still some good in the world. And that fighting to protect what is good is worthwhile.  Not just for ourselves, but for others as well.

Motivating myself can be difficult at times. Reminding myself that there are other people and those other people are often really wonderful, helps me feel connected.  Yes, there is still hurt and suffering. But there are also people who give of themselves to make the hurt just a little less.

When I think back to the times in my life that were the most difficult, I also think of the people who cared for me enough to do little things that showed me they cared. This knowledge, that people care – even for total strangers. Is what love is about. It is the best of what humans are capable of.  It is inspiring and humbling and amazing and wonderful.

You all know I am not a big fan of the positive thinking movement. Positive thoughts don’t have magic powers. But consciously thinking about who and what you are grateful for, isn’t magic. It won’t magically make your problems go away. But it may just help you find the courage to keep going when the going gets tough.

My hope for you and all of humanity this holiday season is that we all remember that we are all in this thing called life together and the only thing that makes it bearable is the love we show to each other.

Love Explained

Is love chemistry or something else.

Chemistry.com has a wonderful interview with an actual scientist about “love.” What it is, how we experience it and how it is tied to our chemical selves. (http://www.chemistry.com/datingadvice/LoveExplained)

One of the interesting things she mentions is that love is possessive. Not only do we get a cocaine like high when we fall in love, we are focused on the object of our affection and are often possessive about it.  You can fall in lust with many people, but love, it’s a bit more narrow.

Also casual sex does indeed release dopamine and you can accidentally fall in love as a result.

Romantic love is a universal human experience. It isn’t just about sex, mating, procreating and raising kids. It is much more emotionally intense than that.

It’s probably a good idea to wait until the romantic rapture of first meeting starts to wear off before you decide to get married. That way you can assess whether this person’s flaws are things you can live with your not.

Women do indeed create memory trails regarding their partners as a way of checking whether this person is really as supportive as he/she seems. And most men do like to feel useful to their mates.

I don’t wanna say I told you so – but this is pretty much the same things I said in my book The Humanist Approach to Happiness: Practical Wisdom on my chapters on dating and relationships.

Also – the above generalizations are not applicable to everyone. They represent averages and not individual people. So treat people as the individuals they are and not as representatives of their gender group whatever that is.