Self Care Lessons from a GOAT

I watch Sumo. I have been a sumo fan for decades now. One of the current Yokozuna is literally, the greatest wrestler of all time. Hakuho has won more tournaments than anyone else in the history of the sport. He is a joy to watch wrestle.

One of the reasons he is so great, is he takes self care seriously.  When he gets injured, he allows himself to heal. This is one of the keys to his success. He doesn't try to play through his pain. He stops, and withdraws from the tournament and heals.

He also doesn't push himself while he is healing. He has said, he doesn't work out when he is out resting. He rests and heals. That's it.  And when he comes back - he comes back in good form and just - wins. Everything. 

He has won 16 tournaments undefeated - twice as many as any other wrestler in the entire history of the sport.

He has won 39 Emperor's cups, more than any other Yokozuna in the history of the sport, AND, he only took 98 tournaments to win this many, which is fewer tournaments than any other wrestler in the history of the sport with a near similar record. 

There is simply no one in the entire 2,000 plus year history of the sport as good as Hakuho. He is really the greatest of all time (G.O.A.T.)

And again, the secret to his success is - he rests when he needs to.

He just won the July tournament 15-0.  Which is amazing. He took the Jan, March and May tournaments off. He rested for 6 months. We didn't see him at all. The Sumo association was calling on him to retire if he didn't return to the ring. He didn't let that pressure get to him. He wasn't competing, because he didn't feel like he was healthy enough to compete. 

When he came back, he won it all. And he won it - by defeating Teronofuji in the final bout of the tournament. Teronofuji and Hakuho went into that bout - both with a 14-0 record. Teronofuji was just named Yokozuna. He's REALLY a good wrestler and has been dominating in Hakuho's absence. Watching these 2 men, vie for top spot, was one of the greatest tournaments of all time!!! 

If you want to be successful, take a lesson from the greatest of all time, in a sport with a 2,000 year plus history.

It’s ok to take care of yourself.  Playing injured isn’t good for you. 

If you need to heal, take time to heal so that you can come back stronger. 

It really is ok to take care of yourself when you need to. It's better to rest and come back and play at full strength, then to just - put in mediocre performances because you refuse to rest and heal - I'm looking at you Tochinoshin. 

Oh - and Teronofuji?  The guy who just became Yokozuna? He took a full year and a half off when he was at the top of his game a few years back. He went all the way down to the lowest of the lowest ranks of sumo and had to work his way back up to the top division. He made it to Yokozuna. Had he tried to play through, he would have ruined his career. Instead, he took over a year to recover, and took the hit in his standing but was able to come back to become one of the highest ranked rikishi in the sport currently. His only competition right now is Hakuho. 

Take the time off if you need it. Really, it's ok to drop out to take care of yourself if you need to.

Grattiude 2017

This has been a tough year for everyone. Emotionally, politically, economically and - well - just super stressful. Is there anything to be grateful about?  Yes. In fact, it’s times like this when we need to be grateful the most.

I say this a lot about compassion but it’s also true of gratitude. Gratitude isn’t something you do for someone else. It’s something you do for you.  It may also help the other person, but even if it doesn’t, it will definitely help you.

We humans spend a LOT of time in our own heads. We worry. We fret. We have angst and insecurities and doubts and fears.  When we take to the time to take stock of our lives, specifically focusing on the things that are good, a wonderful thing happens. We fret just a little less.  We remind ourselves that yes – life is worth living. That there is still some good in the world. And that fighting to protect what is good is worthwhile.  Not just for ourselves, but for others as well.

Motivating myself can be difficult at times. Reminding myself that there are other people and those other people are often really wonderful, helps me feel connected.  Yes, there is still hurt and suffering. But there are also people who give of themselves to make the hurt just a little less.

When I think back to the times in my life that were the most difficult, I also think of the people who cared for me enough to do little things that showed me they cared. This knowledge, that people care – even for total strangers. Is what love is about. It is the best of what humans are capable of.  It is inspiring and humbling and amazing and wonderful.

You all know I am not a big fan of the positive thinking movement. Positive thoughts don’t have magic powers. But consciously thinking about who and what you are grateful for, isn’t magic. It won’t magically make your problems go away. But it may just help you find the courage to keep going when the going gets tough.

My hope for you and all of humanity this holiday season is that we all remember that we are all in this thing called life together and the only thing that makes it bearable is the love we show to each other.

Mending a Broken Heart

To a certain extent – broken hearts just take time to mend.  However, there are things to do to make sure you don’t do something stupid while your heart mends.

Part of what is happening is that you are in the habit of being with and around your ex.  You have to break that habit and that’s a lot like going cold turkey off a drug. Your body and your brain is going to fight you. Being aware that that is what is going on puts you in a position to be proactive about how you respond.

For instance, knowing that your body is going to be craving physical touch to get the oxytocin that we get from hugs and physical contact means, you can seek out friends who will give you hugs and help you through the worst of the withdrawals without you doing something stupid to get your oxytocin fix. In other words, don’t be afraid to ask your friends for hugs.

Knowing that you are going to have to break the habit of having someone to talk to regularly means you can be proactive and seek out other outlets to get that intellectual connection. Perhaps join a club, or go to a lecture.

There are a myriad of habits that get broken when we break up – which is why it’s so painful. But as you find yourself craving something, remind yourself, this is part of the withdrawal process and find another outlet for that craving. Eventually, you won’t crave your ex anymore and you will feel much better.
Just give it the time it needs and don’t be afraid of your emotions.

Washing the Stupid Away

Compassion. It is a seriously powerful emotion. Compassion is the key to inner peace. It might not do anything for the object of your compassion, but it does do a good job of washing their stupid off of you. And yeah – I realize that doesn’t sound all that compassionate. But it actually is.

I recently had a run in with a seriously angry person. Hates his family. Glad his parents are dead. Would have killed them himself if they hadn’t have died already. I told him I felt sorry for him. And I do. I really do. That guy is miserable. I hate thinking anyone is going through life with that much anger.

At the moment I realized how sorry I felt for the guy, my frustration with my interaction with him melted away. It was like I was suddenly impervious to all that he did and said. I know my compassion did nothing for him except to make him angrier because he told me so. But it did worlds of good for me.

I just can’t help thinking. What would this guy’s life be like if instead of being angry, he had decided to feel compassion for his parents? Yes, they apparently raised him in a religion that he didn’t share. Yes, the circumcised him – which was their original sin in his eyes. But I seriously doubt they were intentionally trying to make his life a living hell. If he had decided his parents were worthy of compassion, he wouldn’t be so angry. And if he weren’t so angry, he wouldn’t be working so hard to make other people’s lives miserable too. And the world would be a slightly better place as a result.