Being polite helps grease the wheels of civility.

 My father always said, if you want to slide through life, try being polite. 

What can we learn from how the British do it? I came across this graphic. It lays out what they say, what they mean and what people who aren't from Britain hear.

To be honest, I read this list AFTER trying to ask someone questions about a public policy issue and not getting any actual answers and getting frustrated.  It is in moments like this, where you are genuinely trying to have a rational conversation and you find out, nope, the other person is just spouting slogans that they don't understand, that I personally find it most hard to be humanistic towards others.

My desire is to scream - that doesn't make any sense!!!! But, that wouldn't be very polite. Which is why I like this list. It's a very gentle way to help nudge people towards better more rational conversations.  It's also a good way, in some cases, to blow people off without overtly saying, I'm not going to attend to this nonsense anymore, while keeping the door open for future conversation.

Even better, what if we actually mean it positively?   

I think mostly what this list helps me think is that - British politeness in discourse allows people to disagree without being mean about it. That's a valuable life skill to cultivate. 

By the way, I do have a course on a humanistic approach to civility that you might enjoy if you thought this was helpful.  https://humanistlearning.com/a-humanistic-approach-to-civility/

The habit of being good

6 habits that will help you be a better, happier person

My new favorite blog to read is Health, Happiness and Humanism (http://pleasures-of-living.blogspot.com/) It is written by Ram Bansal. He recently did a post titled “Behave Greatly, Habitually.” (http://pleasures-of-living.blogspot.com/2012/12/behave-greatly-habitually.html) It is all about why you need to make being a good person a habit, otherwise it won’t happen and you won’t be the best person you can be and then, you won’t reap the benefits of all that comes with being good.

If you are a fan of my blog, you will know that a big theme of my writing is that the reason to be good is because it benefits you in the here and now. Anyhoo, back to the idea of making a habit of being good. Ram lists 6 attributed of a good person that in order to them, you need to make a habit.  These are:

1) Be polite, habitually

2) Be open minded, habitually

3) Be genuine, habitually

4) Be friendly, habitually

5) Be generous, habitually

6) Be interested in others, habitually

What I love about this list is not just that I agree with it. But that the emphasis is on making these habits. To make something be a habit means making it a routine.  To do that, you have to practice it until it becomes a habit.

Is it easy? No. It takes, well, practice. But like anything, once you practice it enough, it becomes a habit and it is much easier to do. Will you be happier?  Yes, most definitely. The best way to get started is to focus on one of these areas at a time until it becomes a habit, then move on to the next one. If you do this, your life will be changed.

What do you think the most important habit a Humanist should cultivate is? For me, I obviously gravitate towards the habit of compassion. Compassion helps me accomplish the other items on Ram’s list. What about you?