Embracing Humanistic Ethics: Overcoming Workplace Cynicism

My son is 18. He's still in high school but starting to think about entering the work world. He's cynical. Extremely cynical. He's absorbing messages about worker oppression and corporate exploitation. While I'm glad he knows what he doesn't want, he seems to think ALL workplaces are bad. And this simply isn't true. Not all workplaces are oppressive, some are, but most of the ones I've been in have been good places to work overall. I've worked with truly excellent people over the years. But this does mean that employers who are trying to do a good job - need to make sure prospective employees know this, because if my son is any indication, the next generation is not going to be willing to tolerate explotation in the workplace.

The Reality Check

I understand the concerns fueling workplace cynicism. Discussions about worker oppression are vital, shedding light on issues that need urgent attention. However, it's equally important to acknowledge that not all workplaces are exploitative. Let's challenge the stereotype and explore the reality of creating environments that prioritize humanistic ethics.

We need to find a way to eliminate bad workplaces and ensure that workers at all levels of society are treated with dignity and worth.

Defining Humanistic Ethics:

Humanistic ethics are the bedrock of creating a workplace that values individuals and their well-being. It encompasses fair treatment, transparent communication, and a commitment to fostering a collaborative and empowering culture.

All humans have dignity. Most humans want to contribute to their society. No human wants to be treated like dirt or that they don't matter. Young people want a better society. Those of us in positions of "power" need to make sure we help them create that better society.

Why Humanistic Ethics Matters:

Research consistently shows that companies embracing humanistic ethics experience higher employee satisfaction, increased productivity, and a more positive workplace culture. It's not just a moral imperative; it's a strategic advantage.

Contrast with Oppressive Practices:

To truly appreciate the impact of humanistic ethics, let's compare it with oppressive practices. While oppressive workplaces breed discontent and burnout, humanistic companies thrive on collaboration, innovation, and long-term employee loyalty.

Creating a Healthy Workplace

Proactive Measures:

Companies can take proactive steps to create a healthy, balanced workplace:

• Implement employee engagement programs by making sure their employees are included.
• Foster transparent communication
• Ensure fair compensation and benefits
• Provide opportunities for professional development

Collaboration Over Exploitation

Collaborative Culture:

A workplace built on collaboration prioritizes the collective success of its employees. It encourages open communication, idea sharing, and a sense of shared purpose. Mostly - it encourages employees to work together to get the work of the organization done. This requires inclusion and the treating of all employees as valued partners.

Success Stories:

Consider companies that have successfully transitioned to a collaborative, humanistic approach. The positive outcomes for both employees and the organization demonstrate the tangible benefits of prioritizing people over profit.

Overcoming Cynicism

Individual Empowerment:

Individuals can overcome workplace cynicism by actively seeking out companies with humanistic values. By aligning personal values with workplace culture, employees contribute to a positive work environment.

Changing the Narrative:

It's time to shift the narrative around work and employment. Let's focus on the potential for positive change through collective efforts, steering the conversation toward solutions rather than just highlighting problems.

Conclusion

As we navigate the complex landscape of modern work, let's hold onto hope for a future where workplaces are characterized by collaboration, fairness, and a genuine commitment to humanistic ethics. By fostering open dialogue and embracing a proactive mindset, we can contribute to a collective shift toward healthier and more fulfilling work environments.

Call to Action

I invite you to share your experiences and thoughts on creating positive workplace environments. Let's spread the message of humanistic ethics and encourage a broader conversation about the future of work. Together, we can shape a workplace culture that empowers individuals and fosters genuine collaboration.

Collaboration is Hard - Here's How to Learn How to Do It Well, with Songwriting as an Example

Collaboration, as it turns out, is not as simple as many may believe. It's a skill that needs to be nurtured, developed, and perfected over time. This holds true in various aspects of life, and one unexpected area where collaboration shines is in the world of songwriting. In this blog post, we'll explore how collaboration plays a crucial role in songwriting and discover valuable lessons that can be applied to other fields as well.

The Power of Collaboration in Songwriting

Solo songwriting can yield decent results, and an individual can produce some good songs. However, to create truly great music, collaboration is required.  Great music, often considered a masterpiece, can only be achieved through effective collaboration.

It's not just about co-writing lyrics and melodies but also working together on arrangements and collaborating with musicians and vocalists.

Learning from Daisy Jones and the Six

The television show "Daisy Jones and the Six" portrayed the co-writing process accurately. It demonstrated that collaboration is a challenging endeavor. Trust is the foundation upon which successful collaboration is built. Learning to trust your collaborators, their ideas, and their expertise is an essential part of the process. This is a work of fiction, loosely based on Stevie Nicks and Fleetwood Mac. It's a good show. 

Practice Makes Perfect

Collaboration is a skill that requires practice. In the world of songwriting, songwriters actively seek out songwriting groups to hone their collaborative abilities. These groups often provide prompts and encourage members to work together on a song. It's through these experiences that songwriters learn not only how to write good songs but also how to collaborate effectively.

Letting Go of Control

One of the most critical aspects of collaboration is being willing to let go of control. Collaborators must be open to sharing their ideas and embracing the fact that their project may take a different direction than originally intended. In fact, you often have to let your project get torn apart and put back together in a different way.

I find it's helpful to remind myself that I can always revisit my original ideas at a later time. I'm not losing anything; I'm simply opening myself up to other ideas. I'm adapting, evolving and learning something new.

Embracing Revisions and Experimentation

Songwriting is a craft that often involves writing an entire song only to extract a single line that can be used to create an even better composition. This process reflects the importance of experimentation, openness to being wrong, and a focus on the final product over personal ego. Sometimes, the best ideas come from the most unexpected places.

It's Okay to Write Crap

Lastly, it's important to understand that it's perfectly okay to write subpar material. In fact, writing less-than-stellar songs is a valuable part of the learning process. These "less successful" attempts serve as stepping stones to better work and contribute to personal growth and development as a songwriter and collaborator.

Conclusion

Collaboration is indeed challenging, but it's a skill worth mastering. Songwriting exemplifies how learning to collaborate effectively can result in exceptional art. By seeking out collaboration opportunities, practicing the art of letting go, embracing revisions, and being open to experimentation, individuals in any field can enhance their collaborative abilities and, in turn, achieve more remarkable outcomes. So, whether you're a songwriter or a professional in any other area, remember that collaboration is a journey that leads to greatness.

The Road to Collaboration: Lessons from Merging Traffic

Introduction:

Driving a car can teach us valuable lessons about life, including the importance of collaboration. Merging onto a busy highway is a prime example of how working together, rather than asserting dominance, can lead to smoother traffic flow and a more pleasant experience for everyone involved. In this blog post, we'll explore three important lessons we can learn from merging traffic: the situational nature of merging, the benefits of collaboration, and how collaboration reduces stress.

Merging: A Lesson in Situational Dependence

Merging onto a highway can be compared to making ethical decisions, as both situations require careful consideration of context. Just as there is no one-size-fits-all approach to ethics, the best way to merge is situationally dependent.

Consider a long on-ramp that allows for merging over a significant distance. Some drivers merge immediately, while others wait until the end of the merge lane. Which approach is correct? It depends on the circumstances. When traffic is light and there's ample space, merging when safe is ideal. However, in heavy traffic where it's stop-and-go, going to the end and using the zipper merge technique is more efficient.

Why does this matter? It ensures that people behind you have the opportunity to enter the merge lane as well. By using all available space, you maximize everyone's chance to merge smoothly. So, when you merge at the end of the lane during slow-moving traffic, it's a collaborative act. This collaboration keeps traffic moving, even if slowly. Refusing to let others merge causes unnecessary stops and delays for everyone involved.

Collaboration Yields the Best Results

Driving teaches us that collaboration often leads to the best outcomes. In merging, it's a shared effort to keep traffic flowing. When we work together, following the zipper merge or simply allowing others to merge, we maintain a steady flow of traffic. This collaboration benefits everyone on the road.

When we view driving as a collective effort rather than a competition, we create an environment where everyone can reach their destination safely and efficiently. Your willingness to collaborate makes the road a better place for all.

Collaboration Reduces Stress and Makes a Chore Enjoyable

Think about how stressful it is when you're stuck behind a line of cars at a standstill, all because someone refused to let others merge. It's frustrating for everyone involved. Now, imagine a different scenario, one where people are courteous and collaborative. Traffic still moves slowly, but there's less tension, and the chore of commuting becomes more enjoyable.

When you let others merge, you're not only making their journey smoother but also contributing to your own sense of calm. Solidarity on the road breeds collaboration and reduces stress. We're all in this together, and when we acknowledge that, the road becomes a friendlier and less stressful place.

Conclusion:

The lessons learned from merging traffic extend far beyond the highway. We can apply these principles to various aspects of our lives, emphasizing the importance of context-dependent decision-making, collaboration, and reducing stress through cooperation.

Applying the lessons of collaboration and situational awareness from merging traffic to humanistic management is crucial for creating more effective and empathetic workplace environments. Humanistic management recognizes that different situations and individuals require tailored approaches. Just as merging strategies depend on traffic conditions, ethical and management decisions should consider the specific context and the diverse needs of employees. Embracing collaboration in leadership fosters a culture where employees are valued, teamwork is encouraged, and individual strengths are leveraged for the collective good. Just as collaboration reduces stress on the road, it can reduce workplace stress, enhance job satisfaction, and ultimately lead to more successful and harmonious organizations. In humanistic management, as on the highway, the mantra remains the same: good things happen when we collaborate and consider the context.

So, next time you find yourself behind the wheel, remember that the road is a shared space where collaboration and consideration lead to better outcomes for everyone. Just as letting others merge helps keep traffic moving, embracing collaboration in our daily lives can lead to smoother journeys and more positive outcomes. It's a lesson well worth heeding: good things happen when we collaborate.

Collaborative Workplace Cultures are Humanistic Workplace Cultures

 I had the pleasure of speaking with Harit Nagpal the other day. He will be my guest on the Sept 22nd Lunch and Learn I host through the International Humanistic Management Association.  I am very excited to have him on as he's one of those wonderful people who just - gets it.

You can register for this free event here: http://humanisticmanagement.international/activities/events/

CEO Culture & Flattening an Organization: 

Harit is the CEO of Tata Play which is a major satellite TV provider in India. For those of you who are in the west - it's like DirectTV. 

The topic of his talk has to do with the CEO culture he has created at Tata Play.  CEO stands for Collaborate, Experiment and Own.  Meaning he wants everyone to collaborate, experiment to solve problems and take ownership of their work.  To do this he had to flatten the company a bit. 

If you want to learn more about flat management - I interviewed Doug Kirkpatrick about it here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mME6hEIz0AI

Bullying/Ragging Doesn't Survive in a Collaborative Culture

We also discussed how the collaborative culture he has created helps keep bullies out of the organization. In a truly collaborative workplace, anyone who comes in with what Harit calls "outside poison" doesn't do well. In fact, they never make it out of their initiation period. A group that collaborates well, bullies just can't figure out how to control - because the group rejects control organically.

Join us on Sept 22nd to learn more and to learn directly from Harit.  What I want to talk about in this post is what my conversation with him brought up for me. 

This is How Work Should Be

1st: I would love to work for Harit. I don't actually want to work for anyone in any office. But if I did, I'd be asking Harit to hire me. 

2nd: It brought up a lot of stuff from an old job I had. Both because my department was flat managed and depending on collaboration and because of how people not in our department who were used to command and control structures (say - former military) had trouble dealing with and collaborating with our department.

The Benefits of a Truly Collaborative Culture

1 – Collaboration creates solutions which leads to amazing growth 

The 1/2 billion dollar tower company I worked at? The reason we got that big was collaboration. The acquisition department switched to a flat management structure. Each department within acquisition was autonomous and had authority to kill deals. We went from doing 2 acquisitions a month to about 8 a week once we put the communication systems in place for everyone to share their input in a central location. 

We did not hoard information. We shared it openly. This is the only way to make sure people can collaborate and do their jobs effectively.  If there was a problem that couldn't be solved because it was outside the ability of our teams to fix (ie: it was something the buyer needed to fix), we sent it back to the buyers to negotiate a fix and then started working on it again.

Again - radical full collaboration with no top down control moved us from 1 acquisition every other week to 8 a week! That is explosive growth! 

2 – You don’t know what you don’t know.

Planning for anything and not including people who have to do the actual work and who know the most about implementation is a mistake. It will lead to failure. Because - you don't know what you don't know. You aren't an expert in everything. No one is. Successful people LISTEN to the experts. They trust the people they hire to give them truthful honest advice so that any problem that arises can a) be planned for and b) fixed. 

It is for this reason I have trouble understanding why certain leaders are anti-union. Don't they want to know what they don't know? Don't they want to collaborate with their employees and benefit from the expertise of their employees? It just blows my mind anytime anyone takes an adversarial position against their own employees.  We can't all be working on the same team if you leadership treats their employees like the enemy.

Let me tell you a story about the 1/2 billion tower company I used to work for. The guy in charge of billing and account servicing was former military. He did not understand collaboration at all. His was a command and control managed department. They were horribly horribly horrible inefficient. At some point our acquisition department was so far ahead in our work we were asked to help contact customers to renew their leases and get them signed up for the new fees. We were blasting through them and our tenants were thanking us because - finally after over a year of asking to renew - someone wrote up the new contract for them. We had a fraction of his staff and were able to complete so much more work than his team. 

He was furious. You would think renewing leases - which was his departments job - would be a good thing and he would want to learn how we were able to do so much with so few people. Instead of asking for help and asking us how to improve his department's activities (which was struggling because people were being rewarded for being appearing to be too busy to actually do any real work - which is an illness I've seen in many badly managed teams), he instead tried to keep me out of leadership decision making activities entirely. At one point he initiated a change management process for his team which failed totally because he didn't know what he didn't know about behavior management and refused to ask me - which was stupid because I'm an expert in creating personal and organizational change. I could have and would have gladly helped him design a roll out that would have worked and helped his team be more effective, but - he REALLY didn't want to collaborate. He wanted to lead and be seen as a leader- so he failed. 

He failed because he wanted to be a boss. And a managers role is a support function. What does your team need to do the job? Don't know, find out, get it for them. This came up for me because Harit shares this same management philosophy. 

Finally, 

3– Collaborative teams Don’t tolerate bullying. 

They are immunized from it. You bring in someone with poison from the outside, and they will flunk out. Why? Because when people have ownership, and authority and the only way they will do anything for you is if you ask them to collaborate and treat them with dignity, then anyone who doesn't treat people with dignity fails to be effective. In fact, a team that works through collaboration will discuss the problems and the rudeness of the bully and basically band together to deny them power. It's a stunning thing to see when it happens.

Harit was talking about this. For leaders in massive organizations it can be really hard to make sure that lower level managers aren't bullying staff. Especially when staff is in an economically disadvantaged situation to begin with. The poorer your staff, the more they stay silent when something illegal or unethical happens. They can't afford to speak up.

If you want teams to feel safe enough to out a bully or someone with some other unethical poison in them, you have to make sure whistleblower's jobs are safe and that they have the ability to go directly to the highest level of the organization.  And you REALLY want them to.  If a manager is doing something unethical or asking staff to do something unethical, it's going to not only cost you money, but put a poison in that team and that poison can spread if you are not aware of it.  

Collaborative teams that are secure in their jobs - will stand together to kick out a bully or other poisonous individual. Collaborative flat teams feel comfortable reporting ethical problems to the ethics committee knowing the ethics committee will take their report seriously and deal with it. They also feel comfortable going to the CEO directly. Because a collaborative environment doesn't place one individual above another. It's collaboration built on dignity and ownership. 

Learn More

If you are reading this before Sept 22nd 2023 - join the lunch and learn with Harit - http://humanisticmanagement.international/activities/events/

If you are reading this afterwards - the video of our session will be posted here - http://humanisticmanagement.international/humanistic-management-professionals/

 And if you want to take one of my humanistic leadership courses - https://humanistlearning.com/programsoffered/

I'm good at what I do, but I'm better with a team

 I'm a very effective person. But only because I don't do things all by myself. I'm good at what I do, but I'm better with a team. Collaboration is the key to my success. 

Leaders are only leaders if people willingly join and help them pursue a goal. Managers, manage. Bosses Boss. Leaders lead.  Followers follow leaders they believe in.  

I can only accomplish things if I can convince people to collaborate with me. And to do that, I need to be trustworthy, honest, compassionate, ethical and effective.  If I promise something, I need to deliver, or communicate why I can't.

That is why I succeed. It's why people like working with me.  My humanistic philosophy is why I approach all interactions as collaboration. 

My husband and I were discussing this the other day. He was wondering why I never bothered to sing when I played in a big band. I used to be a lead singer for a rock band actually. I sing well and have good presence. But as much as I am capable of being a front person, the reality is my approach to it is the same as June Christy, who used to sing for Stan Kenton's orchestra.  Someone has to sing the lyrics.  The singer is an important member of the band.  They often become stars, but good singers, are the people who make the band look good - by singing the lyrics.  

Its the same with soccer. I was a leading scorer for my teams. I once scored 6 goals in one game. I was ambidextrous and accurate with both feet. I was also good at lurking and getting defenders to forget I was there. My role model there was Giorgio Chinaglia. My job on the team was to get the ball into the goal.  Someone has to do it or the team doesn't succeed. Good coaches find players that can collaborate together to win.

Good leaders do the same thing. Everyone has a role to play and while some people might be good at some things, they almost always need help and support on the things they aren't good at.  In soccer, I could only score goals if people got me the ball.

In work, I can only succeed if I have a team that helps me succeed.   My support of others, is the same.  If I succeed, I help others on the team do their job as well.  If I was not open - no one could pass to me and the wings would not be successful. 

My point? Think of yourself as a member of a team - not as a leader, but a vital part of the team.  The last time I worked in an office, I was a "manager."  And I viewed my role as a support function. My job was to make sure the team had the supplies and support they needed to do their jobs well.  Management - is a support function. 

If you want to learn more about this philosophy and how to apply it to your own work life and management and leadership skills - try taking one of my courses. https://humanistlearning.com/programsoffered/

I have a certified Humanist Leadership Professional Course - that bundles all the various courses into a unique course of study. https://humanistlearning.com/certified-humanistic-leadership-professional/

Solution oriented leadership

Humanistic Leadership is Solution Oriented Leadership. There are several benefits to being solution oriented.

1.    It encourages collaborative problem solving. A lot of the interpersonal problems go away when we stop trying to “win” arguments and start focusing on how best to solve a problem. The added bonus is you get better problems solved and that means, better business solutions.

2.    Solution oriented leadership also tends to be more moral. In order to focus on the “best” solution, your team has to discuss what a good solution is. That means discussing morality. What do you mean by a good solution?  Can you solve for multiple problems simultaneously? Even better.

3.    Being focused on solutions can also lead to more creative solutions. If you give yourself over to the process, and focus on problem solving well, which means, inclusive problem solving, then you can often create and find creative solutions that not only work to solve your problem, but do so in a way that is ethical and that solves multiple problems at the same time.

Obviously, this is an ideal. Reality, makes doing this hard. So how can leaders strengthen their problem solving skills?  

I recommend a 3-pronged approach and really, this is about asking yourself better questions. 

1.    What is your real problem? It is amazing how many people try to solve the wrong problem or proxy problems.  By drilling down and challenging your assumptions about what your real problem is, you can both save yourself time but also create better solutions. The example I give in my training programs is crops and rain. If you are focused on trying to make it rain, you are focused on the wrong thing. Your real problem is that you need to water your plants. Rain is just one of the many ways you can water your plants. If you focus on trying to make it rain, you will not only NOT be successful, you will have wasted your time energy and money on solutions that don’t work. This problem is real and it has destroyed civilizations. A good problem-solving leader focuses on solving their real problem.

2.    What is really causing your real problem? People make all sorts of assumptions. If you want to be successful, find out what is really causing your problem. That way you can figure out what will really work to fix it. This is similar to the solving the wrong problem. If you misdiagnose the cause of your problem, you will waste time energy and money on solutions that don’t work.

3.    What will really work to fix the real cause of your real problem? Not all solutions work. Figuring out what will really work is worth the effort. This is why having a diverse, yet cohesive workgroup is so important. They help you identify possible causes and solutions better and thus help create a better solution that will really work to solve your real problem. 

The best way to train your team is to constantly ask questions? Learn the art of Socratic Questioning. Encourage people to present ideas and encourage thinking about them. The single most effective way to do this is through Socratic Questioning.

The 2^nd thing leaders need to do is create psychologically safe spaces for people to collaborate. If there is any bullying or harassment going on, it will shut down effective problem solving.

Hope this helps, let me know if I can be of further assistance. I offer an online course on reality based problem solving (https://humanistlearning.com/realitybaseddecisionmaking/) and also courses on humanistic leadership, Socratic method and more.

 

 

 

Resolving Conflict Between Managers

A reporter recently reached out to me to ask me how I would approach resolving conflicts between managers. Here is my response. 

1. How do you resolve conflicts between managers in the workplace?

Ideally – you shouldn’t have to. Managers should be adults who know how to resolve disagreements civilly and effectively in the best interests of the organization.  But – if they aren’t good at resolving differences and it turns into a conflict, then yes, upper management (usually HR) has to get involved.  

If I were coaching managers on how to deal with this (and I do have online courses that teach this), the first thing I do is encourage both compassion and responsibility.  The other person probably means well and if you can get out of your head enough – you can listen to their objections and help resolve the disagreement by making either a compromise or sorting it out – as adults do.  

The first approach is to always assume both parties mean well and have valid reasons for their actions – and to figure out what those are. Often – just encouraging both sides to view each other as allies and not enemies is enough to jump start the process.

If one side refuses to do this – then – you have a problem. 

2. Why do you need to resolve conflicts swiftly? 

Disagreements should not escalate into conflicts and if they have – you have a problem.  Dealing with it swiftly is important because a) you don’t want it to escalate further and b) the longer it goes on – the harder it is to bring the parties back into allyship to resolve it. Once disagreements turn into conflicts – tribal thinking takes over and people can really solidify their opinions that the “other” side is evil or insane. If allowed to fester, those biases will negatively impact all work going forward. You need you team to think of themselves as being on the same team – not enemies.

3. How can you avoid conflicts in the first place? 

Foster a humanistic workplace. Reward managers for collaboration. If you keep getting conflicts – either the managers shouldn’t be managers or your reward system within the organization is rewarding the conflicts or both.  Sears is a famous example of this.  They made managers compete with one another instead of rewarding them for collaboration and the result was disastrous.

More practically – practice and encourage – collaborative problem solving as the cultural norm within the organization. 

4. What are some other ways in which you can foster a healthy work environment?

Actively reward collaboration and happy employees.  Keep reinforcing compassion for people who disagree and the dignity and worth of every individual in the company.  Also – not everyone is cut out to be a manager. If someone just can’t handle the pressure and doesn’t know how to positively reinforce people – teach them – explicitly – how to do this. 

5. At what point does HR need to get involved in a conflict between managers? 

As soon as it becomes obvious – that this is a conflict and not simply a disagreement.  If managers can’t resolve disagreements without it becoming a conflict – then something is wrong. Get involved.  Treat both sides with dignity and recognize their worth and help them see that in each other. 

6. Is there anything else you'd like to add?

Learning how to deal with conflict, and bullying are basic management skills. Train your new managers on how to handle interpersonal problems. If you don’t train them – don’t expect them to magically – know how to handle difficult interpersonal situations. 

Learn more by taking one of my HRCI & SHRM approved courses at https://humanistlearning.com/

Do you see society a competition or a collaboration?

It's an interesting question. I personally see society as a collaboration. We work together to get food, housing, shelter, care for our kids, education and more. I pay taxes so this will happen.

Society can also be seen, as a competition. And there is certainly some of that. Any time there is limited resources, people will compete for them, even when the lack of resource is a matter of perception and not reality.

I think this - is society a competition or collaboration is something we see a lot in our political differences. In fact, I think it can explain a LOT about political differences and more importantly - people's political instincts once they are in office.

As a Humanist, I prefer collaboration, but I'm also aware that there is value to competition. So - for me it's not one or the other. It's both.  And as the saying goes - wisdom is knowing the difference between when to collaborate and when to compete and when to compete through collaboration. And yes - that's an option.

So - please - let's not compete about which view of the world is better - collaboration or competition. We do best when we do both.

Collaborative Mindset

I teach humanistic business management.  A big part of the approach is a philosophic tweak and it does involve thinking about all your interactions collaboratively.

So what are the benefits of a collaborative mindset and how can someone develop a collaborative mind.

Benefits of a collaborative mindset?  Better problem solving, less conflict and higher feelings of motivation and satisfaction.

All businesses are in the business of solving problems. If you aren’t solving people’s problems, you aren’t in business. When you adopt a collaborative mindset, it is easier to focus on solving problems because – that is what you are in business to do. You aren’t in business to be the best. You aren’t in business to feed your ego. Your business is to solve problems and that is best done in a collaborative way. Once you get your ego out of the way – things just become easier.


And because your ego is out of the way – you get into less conflict. When you disagree with someone – it isn’t personal. Your goal is not to “win.” It’s to solve the problem so – when you are thinking collaboratively – you actually listen to the pros and cons of the alternate suggestions and make decisions based on what will work – rather than other petty ego driven considerations.



Finally – solving problems is very motivating.   Instead of figuring out what to do for yourself, you are working in service to others and that feels great. It’s a mindset that leads to greater job and life satisfaction and it’s  motivating to help people solve their problems.


The big question is how. How do we get out of our own heads and concerns and focus on collaboration? The answer is love and compassion.  When we focus on helping people, collaboration comes naturally.  It makes work easier, funnier and more satisfying and the solutions you create collaboratively tend to be better than those made alone.  The end result is in addition to all the above benefits, you gain the respect of your peers when you take this approach. There really is no downside which is why its surprising why more people don’t adopt this mindset.


To help teams adopt collaborative approaches managers need to lead by example, encourage moral/ethical decision making in all the decisions that are made and encourage and reward collaboration.

Using Leadership Skills with Family Members

Companies increasingly value soft skills like communication, empathy, conflict resolution, collaborative ability, etc. Can we and should we use the leadership skills we learn at work to manage difficult people in our personal lives?

YES!!!!!

Leadership skills are definitely transferable. For instance you can use your leadership skills to gain consensus on holiday plans. Or even just – what movie are you going to see.  I realize I should have posted this - before the holidays, but better late than never. 

Leadership skills in particular - can help you deal with difficult people. Knowing how to work around the difficulty and get them focused on what is important is helpful. Knowing how to de-escalate conflicts to focus on the matter at hand – helpful. 

To quote Depeche Mode – people are people. Whether they are in the workplace or at home –  they are human beings and knowing how to relate to people – is an important life skills.

I teach how to stop unwanted behavior using behavioral techniques known as operant conditioning. One of the applications is how to de-escalate conflicts. The skill though - can help stop bullying and abusive behavior. It can help you remain calm when others are freaking out. I joke that I teach one thing – but apply it to a variety of very specific situations. But it’s really just one skill set.

And it is applicable in your interpersonal relationships and your work relationships. It's why I teach both kids, parents and business professionals how to stop bullying and de-escalate conflicts.  It's the same skill set. 

To learn more - take one of my online courses. https://humanistlearning.com/programsoffered/

Or purchase one of my books: https://humanistlearning.com/jennifer-hancock/