Showing posts with label adversity. Show all posts
Showing posts with label adversity. Show all posts

Facing Adversity as a Humanist: Embracing Reality, Love, and Pragmatism

 The Humanist Approach to Adversity

In the face of life's challenges, Humanism offers a unique perspective that empowers individuals to confront adversity with strength, resilience, and compassion. Unlike religious or spiritual frameworks, Humanism is rooted in reality, grounded in love, and embraces a pragmatic approach to navigating life's trials. In this blog post, we will explore how Humanists face adversity and why their philosophy provides a solid foundation for coping with various difficult situations.

Defining Humanism: Reality, Love, and Pragmatism

At its core, Humanism is a life philosophy that places human values, reason, and ethics at the forefront. It emphasizes the importance of basing beliefs and actions on evidence and critical thinking, rather than relying on supernatural or religious dogma. Humanists view the world through a lens of compassion, emphasizing the inherent worth and dignity of every individual. Additionally, they take a pragmatic approach, focusing on practical solutions and realistic perspectives.

Grief: A Humanist Perspective

Grief is a universal experience that affects us all at some point in our lives. When faced with loss and mourning, Humanists approach grief from a non-religious standpoint, which can offer unique benefits. Unlike religious beliefs that often suggest bargaining with a higher power, Humanists recognize that grief is a natural process and not something that can be negotiated. By adopting a scientific approach, they understand that emotions ebb and flow, and there is no need to fear or suppress them. Eventually, the grieving process leads to healing and a more stable emotional state. Humanists can draw strength from the knowledge that grief is a universal human experience, reminding them that they are not alone in their struggles.

Personal Example: Grief is Bad Enough - Don't Add Spiritual Trauma To It

I lost a baby during the 8th month of my pregnancy. During my own experience with grief, I realized that I was the only one in my grief support group who solely dealt with grief without the added burden of religious or spiritual trauma. This realization allowed me to appreciate the strength that comes from confronting grief without supernatural expectations or obligations. Humanism provided me with a framework that focused on accepting the reality of loss, allowing myself to feel emotions without judgment, and understanding that healing would come with time. I didn't have to deal with a world turned upside down. I just had grief - which was enough. Humanism and a non-religious approach spared me the experience of additional spiritual trauma on top of my grief.

Trauma: Science and Self-Empowerment

Traumatic experiences can leave deep emotional scars, and Humanism offers valuable tools to help individuals navigate the healing process. By relying on scientific evidence and understanding, Humanists approach trauma from an empowered standpoint. Rather than waiting for a savior or relying solely on external forces, they embody a "do it" attitude that emphasizes personal agency and resilience. Humanists also hold a fundamental belief in the inherent goodness of humanity, enabling them to seek and accept support from others when needed—a crucial aspect of overcoming trauma.

Personal Example: Overcoming Stalking

In my own journey of healing from a traumatic experience with stalking, I found solace and strength within the Humanist philosophy. Instead of succumbing to fear or hopelessness, I took proactive steps to seek professional help, secure my safety, and regain control over my life. The belief that people are essentially good and willing to help became a guiding principle, providing me with the courage to reach out for support and move forward.

Injuries or Setbacks: Embracing Reality and Seeking Help

No one is immune to setbacks, be it physical injuries or personal setbacks. Humanists approach these challenges by accepting the reality of the situation and formulating a strategic plan to overcome them. Rather than viewing suffering as noble, Humanists understand the importance of taking control over what can be controlled and seeking help when necessary. They acknowledge the power of scientific knowledge and explore avenues such as physical therapy or professional assistance to aid in the healing process.

Personal Example: Overcoming Injuries

A few years back, I almost died. My gallbladder tried to kill me. I was in the hospital for a week to make sure I didn't die of sepsis. My recover took time and there are physical issues I'll deal with for the rest of my life as a result of the surgery.  Embracing the principles of Humanism, I accepted the reality of my situation and devised a strategy to regain my strength and mobility. I sought professional help through physical therapy and massage therapy, understanding that my body's healing process required both scientific knowledge and expert guidance and time.  By taking responsibility for my recovery and actively participating in my rehabilitation, I was able to overcome setbacks and restore my physical well-being and basically get my life back. 

An Optimistic Outlook: Empowerment and Support

In the face of adversity, Humanism offers an optimistic perspective. Humanists believe in their ability to make a positive impact on their own lives and the lives of others. They understand that asking for help is not a sign of weakness but a recognition that some challenges may require more than individual effort. Humanists encourage a sense of community and mutual support, fostering a belief in the innate goodness of humanity. By helping others when possible and seeking assistance when needed, Humanists create a network of support that strengthens their resilience and capacity to overcome adversity.

Conclusion: Embracing Humanism in the Face of Adversity

Facing adversity is an inevitable part of the human experience. However, by adopting a Humanist perspective, we can navigate these challenges with greater strength, compassion, and pragmatism and hopefully get better results as a result. 

Grounded in reality, love, and a scientific approach, Humanism empowers individuals to confront grief, trauma, injuries, and setbacks with resilience and hope. We have the ability and responsibility to make things better, both for ourselves and for others. Whether it is offering help when we can or asking for assistance when needed, we can forge a path forward that transcends suffering and leads to personal growth and collective well-being. Remember, you are not alone—embrace the principles of Humanism, face adversity head-on, and keep moving forward.

Learn More - Get the Book or Take the Online Course:

Discover the transformative power of The Humanist Approach to Happiness, a book that delves deep into the philosophy of Humanism and its application in navigating life's challenges. Drawing upon the principles discussed in this blog post, Ms. Hancock, provides invaluable insights into facing adversity with a reality-based, love-centered, and pragmatic mindset. Whether you're seeking guidance on grief, trauma, or setbacks, this book offers practical strategies, personal anecdotes, and a wealth of wisdom to help you embrace your own resilience and find happiness amidst life's trials. Gain a deeper understanding of Humanism and unlock the tools you need to navigate adversity with strength and compassion.

Book: https://humanistlearning.com/the-humanist-approach-to-happiness-book/

Course:  https://humanistlearning.com/livingmadesimpler1/

Don’t let past wrongs keep you from enjoying your future.

Not everyone is nice. Don’t let the jerks of the world keep you from living life fully.

It would be nice if everyone was nice. If no one every bullied or put you down. If everyone helped you instead of competing with you.  That would be nice and it would make life a lot easier.

But not everyone is nice and not everyone is capable of being nice and some people will compete with you and beat you.

If you want to enjoy your life, you need to figure out how to make sure that the jerks of the world don’t prevent you from reaching your potential. You need to make sure that the wrongs that have been done to you in the past stay in the past so that they don’t affect your present or your future.

In short, coping skills for dealing with adversity are a basic life skill. We all need to learn how to cope with:

  • Broken Hearts
  • Death, dying and grief
  • Bullying
  • Not getting your way or what you want
  • Jealousy
  • Money management skills
  • People not being responsible
and more.

We also need to learn how to not compound our problems and make things worse.  That’s a tall order. But it’s not as hard as you might think.

The reason Humanists keep trying to teach the world critical thinking is because critical thinking helps us cope with the difficulties we encounter more effectively.

All of the problems I listed above are problems. Problems that need to be solved. What’s the best way to solve a problem? By thinking about it. Sure, you can run on instinct and hope for the best, but we Humanists actually want to solve our problems. Hoping for the best isn’t enough. Not when we can take constructive action to make things better.

If you want to cope better, you need to learn how to think better about your problems. I can help with that. Check out my “Living Made Simpler” online course and my book – The Humanist Approach to Happiness.


Crowdsourcing Wisdom

What wisdom have you learned along the way?


The nice thing about wisdom is that you can learn it.  No one is born wise. We all learn through experience. And through experience and adversity learn, hopefully, how to do and be better next time. In order to learn, we have to be willing to admit, we aren’t perfect.

For me, part of my practice as a Humanist, is to admit that I’m an idiot a lot. More than I would like. But I find that when I admit my flaws, I am better able to improve myself.  I no longer consider making a mistake a bad thing. I truly do think of it as a learning opportunity.

Inc. Magazine ran a list of 30 nuggets of wisdom they gleaned from Quora (see: http://www.inc.com/richard-feloni/30-things-you-need-to-know-to-be-successful.html)

It comes as no surprise that much of the wisdom is consistent with the Humanist approach that I teach. The prescription for how to live a happy and productive life hasn’t really changed much over the years.  Anyway – here are my favorite bits gleaned from Inc.’s gleaning.

6. You have a responsibility to everyone, and a responsibility for only yourself.
7. Prepare for the unexpected.
11. Biases affect everything you do.
16. You must take care of your health.
19. Forgive others and yourself.
20. Seek a greater purpose.
21. Life is short.
26. Everyone is afraid.
28. Nothing is perfect.

What wisdom have you learned and want to share?

Thought Holes and the Value of Freethought


How to overcome adversity with critical thinking.



There is a great article over at edutopia on thought holes - http://www.edutopia.org/blog/SEL-filling-in-thought-holes-renee-jain

What I like about it is that it is actually a lesson in critical and creative thinking. Basically, the article talks about how our perception of reality is distorted and how those distortions affect our moods, thoughts, actions etc. If we have a negative distortion that we believe is true, even when it isn’t, it can cause us to do stupid things and that would be bad.

The article then goes on to identify 8 common thought holes or distortions and suggests correcting them by doing 3 Cs:

• Checking to see if you have entered a thought hole

• Collecting evidences to see if it is a thought hole and if it is

• Challenging your original thoughts

I am a Humanist and Humanists engage in freethought. Freethought is a way to challenge our thinking because our thinking is biased and it can cause us to make mistakes. By actively checking and challenging your thoughts and testing them against reality, you can avoid mistakes. And that’s always a good thing. This is why Humanists are always going on and on about the necessity of critical thinking and freethought.

The good news is that doing this works. It works really well. Check to see if you made a mistake in your thinking; collect evidence to verify whether you have or not and if you have, challenge the incorrect thoughts and replace them with more accurate ones. That’s pretty much freethought in a nutshell.

The next time you start thinking that you aren’t good enough and that no one likes you so you might as well go eat some worms, think again. You may just find that the adversity you were working so hard to overcome didn’t really exist in the first place.

Question: Which of the fallacy (ie: thought holes) do you fall prey to most often? Personally, I tend to mentally filter.



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