Do you take a Sabbath?

There is always work to be done. But does that mean we have to do it? Every day?

I am self-employed (see: https://humanistlearning.com) Like most self-employed people, I have to carefully guard my free time. It is VERY easy to work every single day. There is always something to do or that needs doing.

And even if I am not working on ... work. I still have chores to do around the house. Like dishes and laundry and cleaning the bathrooms. That’s work too. So when do I have free time? What should I do with my free time?  It’s amazing how hard that question is to answer.

In order for me to have free time, I have to schedule it. I have to set aside days where I just don’t work. Normally, that requires me to get out of the house and do something active because the lure of doing something instead of doing nothing is just too great!

This is why I like the concept of the Sabbath. One day out of seven, where you commit to not doing any work.  A day of rest and play. It’s not something I adhere to strictly – it’s more a reminder that all work and no play makes Jen a very dull girl.

It’s not that I do nothing on a do nothing day. It’s more that the things I choose to do – I do because they are fun to do. It isn’t work because it doesn’t matter if I do them or not. That is what makes it fun. If I don’t do a crossword puzzle, it won’t impact my business or the efficient running of my household. That’s why I like doing crossword puzzles! It’s fun, not work.

Whether it’s playing a board game or going to the beach or bbqing (which is technically working on food preparation), the goal is to do things that don’t matter if I do them or not.

What do you like to do when you are doing nothing in particular? Do you give yourself a sabbath/day of rest?

Self Reflection for Working Parents

Why thinking more may help you feel guilty less.

If you are a parent, you know all about parenting guilt, that feeling that comes over you when you are not doing your stellar best as a parent and you know it.  For me, I feel this most when I don’t get my work/life balance right.

I am a stay at home mom and a Humanist author on the side. The problem is every once in a while, more than I like, work interferes with life.  It happened yesterday. Normally I try to be done with work when my son comes home from school so I can be present for him and reconnect for a little bit before we start homework and all the other afternoon chores. But yesterday, I got a call right after he got home and so we didn’t do that. I didn’t think it would be a big deal until we did sit down and I found out that he had felt bad about school that day because he was having trouble with the school work. I went from happy I’ve got my act together mommy to – I’m a horrible mom in a split second. I should have made my son my priority like I promised myself I would instead of taking that call. Fortunately, he forgave me, but I still haven’t forgiven myself.

So, the question is, how can the tools of Humanism help me with this common parenting problem?  Well, turns out LeadChangeGroup had a post on 6 self-reflection questions for moms, but since I’m a Humanist – we’ll consider this for all parents because I’m pretty sure dad’s feel this way too. (http://leadchangegroup.com/6-self-reflection-questions-for-every-working-mother/)

They encourage you to ask yourself questions (in classical critical thinking and Freethought style) to help you rebalance your work/life balance plans and to help you be a better parent at the same time.

If you are too lazy to click through the link here are the questions they think you should ask yourself.

What are your goals? How can you do more of what you really want in your life? Who do you serve with your work?  How present are you with your children? Do you relate and require well? Do you schedule people time?

What is your biggest challenge as a working parent? What are your tricks for getting the balance between work and life right?