Fault vs. Responsibliity

Will Smith posted a video on Facebook the other day - regarding the difference between fault and responsibility.

I really liked it because it echos what I tell people. It doesn't matter whose fault something is.  Figuring out who is to blame is a proxy problem, meaning it's a problem we think we need to solve to solve our problems. It isn't and Will Smith does a good job of explaining why.

Figuring out who is to blame doesn't fix our problems. It is rare that the person who caused a problem will solve it. So don't want for them to fix their crap.

You - take responsibility for what you are going to do given the reality you now have. Yes, that reality might suck. Ok - what are you going to do about it? Whine and hope someone else fixes it?  If so - you may be waiting a really long time.

Take responsibility to fix the problems in your life. Don't wait and hope that someone else will do it for you.

Want to learn how to be more responsible and to cope better with what life throws at you? Considering taking my life skills course - Living Made Simpler - a Humanist Approach.

https://humanistlearning.com/livingmadesimpler1/ 

In all things moderation

Why moderation helps lead to happiness.

My husband doesn’t do moderation well. He’s one of those people who thinks, if a little is good – a lot must be better. I have to keep reminding him, a little goes a long way.  After all, water is good for you, but if you aren’t careful, you can overdose on it. Not to mention, drown in it.

But here’s another way to think about moderation. When you moderate, you are choosing to balance things. You aren’t going too far in one direction nor too far in another.  You are actively working to get the balance right.

One of the reasons why people choose not to moderate themselves is because it takes work. The act of choosing is the act of thinking. And, thinking well is hard.  It’s much easier to be on autopilot. The problem is that – if you don’t pay attention to where you are going, you could end up someplace you don’t want to be.

People who make the effort to act in moderation, think about what they want so they can choose their actions wisely. And being wise, they actively choose to choose so that they can get the best of both worlds.

For instance, if you choose to moderate the temperature (assuming you have a thermostat and can do that), you can ensure that the temperature is not too hot or too cold. It’s just right.  If you choose to moderate your emotions, you can choose to be both engaged and calm at the same time!

This is why people who are capable of moderation are considered wise. The more you can get the balance right, the better off and the happier you will be. So take the time to think a little. The effort is well worth it.

Responsibility and Possibility

What if I could help one person today?

I love what if questions. They open up a world of possibilities. One of the participants on the Applied Humanism discussion group at LinkedIn – Suellen, asked this what if question.

“What if I could help one person today?”

I love this question! It is a reminder to be responsible for making the world a better place. But that we don’t have to set out to change the world. We just have to help one person. As Suellen goes on to say, “the value of this question is that it keeps change "do-able" but embraces the possibility of forward momentum via the domino effect.”

This is such a perfect question for a Humanist because it is about responsibility and possibility.

I recently read a book - Piece by Piece by Wendy Naarup - which was actually a really good book despite the supernatural afterlife part of it. In it, one of the questions asked is, did you do something nice for someone today. I have started asking my son that question when I ask him how things went at school. The expectation is that we will all do something nice for someone every day. It can be little, as long as you make an effort.

So, what have you done to help someone today?