In all things moderation

Why moderation helps lead to happiness.

My husband doesn’t do moderation well. He’s one of those people who thinks, if a little is good – a lot must be better. I have to keep reminding him, a little goes a long way.  After all, water is good for you, but if you aren’t careful, you can overdose on it. Not to mention, drown in it.

But here’s another way to think about moderation. When you moderate, you are choosing to balance things. You aren’t going too far in one direction nor too far in another.  You are actively working to get the balance right.

One of the reasons why people choose not to moderate themselves is because it takes work. The act of choosing is the act of thinking. And, thinking well is hard.  It’s much easier to be on autopilot. The problem is that – if you don’t pay attention to where you are going, you could end up someplace you don’t want to be.

People who make the effort to act in moderation, think about what they want so they can choose their actions wisely. And being wise, they actively choose to choose so that they can get the best of both worlds.

For instance, if you choose to moderate the temperature (assuming you have a thermostat and can do that), you can ensure that the temperature is not too hot or too cold. It’s just right.  If you choose to moderate your emotions, you can choose to be both engaged and calm at the same time!

This is why people who are capable of moderation are considered wise. The more you can get the balance right, the better off and the happier you will be. So take the time to think a little. The effort is well worth it.

Learn to Under Indulge

Under Indulge once in a while

Last month the NY Times had an article about the art ofunder-indulgence. It is about the science that shows that under indulging, that is indulging a little less than you might normally is a key to happiness.

I like this article because a) it is counter intuitive, b) it is based on what seems like actual science and c) because it is consistent with my own proclivities and yes, I consider myself a happy person.

Basically, science tells us that it is the initial response to something new that creates the best return on our happy synapses. After we indulge, the high we get from indulging becomes lessened. In other words, imagine you just sat down to an incredible meal. It is the first bite of a tremendously tasty meal that is tasty. The more you eat, the less aware you are of how incredible your meal tastes. In other words, the more you eat, the more you dull your taste buds. So, to get the most bang for your indulgent buck, you need to indulge less because the very act of indulging diminishes your returns.

So, if you have become convinced that to be happy you just need more, whether it is more money, food, candy, sex, or whatever it is you indulge in, you should realize that the science really does show, more isn’t necessarily better. Which is probably why people with severe indulgence problems (aka addictions) aren’t very happy.

The only exception to this rule is when you indulge in helping others. The more you give to others, the happier you are.  And yes, there is apparently science to back that up as well. So, to recap, indulging is good, but only to a point. After that, share what you got. In other words Franklin was right. In all things moderation.  

Image: "Woman And Ice Cream" by Naito8 FreeDigitalPhotos.net