Fault vs. Responsibliity

Will Smith posted a video on Facebook the other day - regarding the difference between fault and responsibility.

I really liked it because it echos what I tell people. It doesn't matter whose fault something is.  Figuring out who is to blame is a proxy problem, meaning it's a problem we think we need to solve to solve our problems. It isn't and Will Smith does a good job of explaining why.

Figuring out who is to blame doesn't fix our problems. It is rare that the person who caused a problem will solve it. So don't want for them to fix their crap.

You - take responsibility for what you are going to do given the reality you now have. Yes, that reality might suck. Ok - what are you going to do about it? Whine and hope someone else fixes it?  If so - you may be waiting a really long time.

Take responsibility to fix the problems in your life. Don't wait and hope that someone else will do it for you.

Want to learn how to be more responsible and to cope better with what life throws at you? Considering taking my life skills course - Living Made Simpler - a Humanist Approach.

https://humanistlearning.com/livingmadesimpler1/ 

Was it my fault?

Why I am responsible for my actions and how accepting fault can make life easier.

Derek Sivers had a post a while back about how everything is his fault. (see: http://sivers.org/my-fault) In it, he talks about the epiphany he had when he realized, everything he was upset about was his fault. And how much his life has changed since he had that realization.

Realizing it is your fault is empowering. You aren’t a victim of fate. You made a mistake and now you can correct it. But you can only do that if you admit it is my fault and I am responsible for fixing the mess I’ve made.

To me, this is a perfectly Humanist approach to the problem of living.  I am responsible for my actions. I have to live with the consequences, so it is best that I choose my actions wisely.

Will I always choose optimally? Of course not. I am limited in my knowledge and my experience and my ability to devote time to figuring out whether what I know is even so.  The truth is, I have to prioritize my time.

I have to decide how much time and attention to give to my son, my husband, my work, my friends, and how much I volunteer to give back to the society in which I live. Each of these decisions involves a tradeoff.

Instead of blinding going along and hoping for the best, I feel it is better to at least be open to the possibility that I am completely blowing it. That way I can correct course quickly instead of driving off the proverbial cliff.

Does accepting fault make life easier? Oh heck yeah it does. I find that I can’t fix my problems until I admit that I have a problem. Admitting I have a problem is the hardest part.

What is your favorite aspect of taking responsibility?