Showing posts with label happiness is. Show all posts
Showing posts with label happiness is. Show all posts

Are happiness days a good idea?

I think setting aside a day to contemplate happiness is worthwhile, but with a caveat.

The pursuit of happiness is important. But… pursuing happiness doesn’t lead to happiness. What happens is people mistake pleasure for happiness, pursue pleasure and then get themselves into trouble.  Additionally, the pursuit of happiness as a goal, when you don’t end up feeling happy, can cause a lot of feelings of inadequacy.

You don’t experience happiness by seeking it. Happiness is something you experience in in hindsight: when you think about things. Mostly, we experience it when we feel like we are getting the business of living right. Helping others is one of the best ways to become happy. When you extend yourself to others in compassion, actively by doing things to help them, you are likely to experience happiness as a result. It feels really good and you feel good about yourself.

The Humanist approach to happiness is to focus on being a good person & doing good in the world. Humanism is a progressive philosophy of life, that without supernaturalism, affirms our ability and responsibility to lead ethical lives of personal fulfillment that aspire to the greater good of humanity. By doing so, we become happy.

There is a formula to this. To be happy we need to be free. To be free, we need to have control. Freedom (and lack of stress) is a result of the amount of control you exercise over your life. In order to exercise control, you have to be responsible enough to make good decisions that benefit yourself and others. Your freedom cannot come at the expense of others.

For this reason, we Humanists focus A LOT on how to make good decisions. After all, you have to live with the consequences of your actions. The more you can make good decisions about how to act, the more control you have over your life and the more freedom and happiness you will experience. The effect is cumulative. Every good decision you make makes your life a little easier, a little less stressful and a little bit better. Magnify that effect over the myriad of decisions you make daily. Regarding your food choices or entertainment choices, and who you hang out with and whether you drive while drunk or not. And those little decisions add up to either increased levels of satisfaction in life or decreased levels of satisfaction.

This is why a commitment to self education is so important. You can’t make good decisions if your information is bad.

To recap. If you want to be happy, commit to living life fully (with all of its ups and downs). Love other people. And leave the world a better place. You best accomplish that by actively practicing compassion for yourself and others and through making good informed decisions.

To learn more - check out my book: The Humanist Approach to Happiness

A Guide to Happiness

The search for happiness is a lot like the search for the Holy Grail. We don’t even know what exactly it is we are looking for.

I realize I’m probably the last person to lecture on why seeking happiness is a silly idea. After all, I wrote a book called, The Humanist Approach to Happiness.  Check it out – it’s a good book and your purchase of it will make me, very happy.

Anyway, it seems to me that a big part of the reason people struggle with being happy is because they don’t recognize it when they experience it.  Is happiness the state of being happy?  Is it a state of contented bliss? Can you be happy even when you are sad?  Is it a feeling of pleasure? Or something different?

Because we don’t really know exactly what happiness is, our search for it is elusive.  And this search prevents us from being happy and experiencing bliss.

I think my son has it right. Today he told me. Life is pretty good.  I said, I agreed because it sure beats the alternative. And that is how you find happiness.

Don’t look for it. Appreciate the fact you are alive, despite the odds, despite the problems, you are alive and that sure beats the alternative.  What more exactly were you hoping for?  Life is filled with pleasure and pain. Sadness and joy.

To me, happiness isn’t a feeling, it’s an experience of contentedness and to experience that requires a little bit of reflection, that despite it all, life is pretty good. I don’t need to experience utmost bliss all the time to be happy. I just have to be alive so I can experience bliss when I am lucky enough to experience it.

How do you define happiness?

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