The Humanistic Leader's Paradox: Embracing Methodical Progress for Greater Efficiency

In the pursuit of personal growth and success, we often find ourselves pushing harder, trying to achieve more, and striving to go faster. Yet, a simple story of swimming in the ocean teaches us a profound lesson that can be applied to the realm of humanistic leadership and management. As we navigate the dynamic waters of leadership, it is essential to understand that sometimes, a slower, more methodical approach can paradoxically lead to quicker and more efficient progress.

Learning to Swim Methodically

I have been swimming for exercise for a while now. I've gotten stronger and can swim longer and not get as winded as I did when I first started.  I'm also swimming at the beach in addition to swimming at the pool. Swimming at the beach is different than swimming in a pool. The waves and currents make it totally different. I set a goal for myself, to swim to a buoy and back.  At first, I couldn't quite make it to the buoy. I would be winded. Even though I know I can swim that distance easily, swimming in the ocean is way more tiring. I decided to take a new approach. In the pool, I swim methodically and honestly rather slowly. I take my time with each stroke and focus on matching my stroke to my breath, which I try to make slow and steady. When I applied this technique in the ocean, not only could I swim to the buoy easily without getting out of breath, but I got there faster than I normally do when I am trying to power my way through the water. 

The Ocean of Leadership:

Humanistic leaders understand that leading a team is much like swimming in the ocean. There are waves of challenges, currents of change, and unpredictable tides of emotions. Each individual on the team brings unique strengths and weaknesses, much like the varying conditions in the open sea. To guide our teams to success, we must adapt our leadership approach, recognizing that one size does not fit all.

The Initial Struggle:

As leaders, we often set ambitious goals, just as I did when I decided to try swimming to a distant buoy and back. However, just like swimming in the ocean, the journey to achieve these goals can be more demanding than we expect. At times, our team might feel overwhelmed and get disheartened when they cannot reach their objectives as swiftly as envisioned.

The Paradox of Efficiency:

The most striking lesson is the paradox of efficiency. Taking a slower more methodical approach not only tends to work better than random thrashing about, it is also quicker and uses less energy. 

The humanistic approach, which seems slower on the surface, ultimately leads to quicker progress and more profound growth. By acknowledging the individual needs of team members, supporting their well-being, and fostering a collaborative and trusting atmosphere, humanistic leaders create an environment where productivity and efficiency naturally flourish.

Applying the Methodical Approach:

I experimented by adopting a slower, more methodical swimming technique in the ocean and it resulted in reaching the buoy with greater ease and efficiency. Similarly, in leadership, a measured more humanistic approach that values individual progress and fosters a supportive environment can yield remarkable results and require less energy. 

How do we do this?

Emphasize Well-being: 

Instead of pushing our team members relentlessly towards their targets, we can encourage them to focus on their well-being and maintain a steady pace. By providing support and resources to address personal challenges, we create a healthier work environment, which ultimately enhances productivity.

Foster Collaboration: 

Just as each stroke was matched to the breath in the pool, a humanistic leader ensures that each task and responsibility aligns with the strengths and skills of team members. By fostering collaboration and encouraging open communication, leaders can build a stronger sense of teamwork and cohesiveness.

Empowering Through Trust: 

Trust is the foundation of a successful team, much like the buoyancy that keeps us afloat in the ocean. Humanistic leaders entrust their team members with autonomy, allowing them to take ownership of their tasks and make decisions. This empowerment fosters a sense of accountability and commitment to achieving common goals.

Conclusion:

Just as my methodical swimming technique transformed my experience in the ocean, I know from experience that embracing a humanistic leadership approach can revolutionize the dynamics within a team. By prioritizing the well-being of team members, encouraging collaboration, and empowering through trust, leaders can navigate the challenges of the ever-changing business landscape with grace and efficacy. 

Remember, as humanistic leaders, we have the power to make a difference, not only in achieving goals but also in fostering an environment where everyone can thrive and succeed.

Learn More:

If you want to learn more you can take this online course on applied humanistic leadership: https://humanistlearning.com/certificate-in-applied-humanistic-leadership/

Or get my book Applied Humanism: How to Create More Effective and Ethical Organizations - https://humanistlearning.com/new-book-applied-humanism-how-to-create-more-effective-and-ethical-businesses/

My new management book

I published a new book for Business Expert Press edited by David M. Wasieleski, Professor of Management & Business Ethics in the Palumbo Donahue School of Business at Duquesne University. 

The book is called: Applied Humanism - How to create more effective and ethical businesses. This book provides a short introduction to the philosophy of humanism and discusses how and why it is being applied to business and why it is so effective when you do so.

Review:

Chris Laszlo - of the Weatherhead Institute - has already read it and said,

 "I just finished reading your new book, Applied Humanism. I loved its clarity and straightforwardness. In many ways the writing is deceptively simple: the concepts and their applications are universal in appeal yet subtle in their implications for living and working in today’s world."

You can’t understand humanistic business management unless you understand what humanism is. This book provides a short introduction to the philosophy of humanism and discusses how and why it is being applied to business and why it is so effective when you do so. Humanism helps us prioritize human value as important. It supports positive interpersonal relationships and collaborative and respectful decision-making. Since all businesses are in the business of solving problems, good problem solving is essential to good business.

Humanism has already transformed many other disciplines including psychology, medicine, nursing, and more. Additionally, humanism is foundational to the practice of human resources, without which businesses cannot operate. It is important for business managers to understand the philosophy fully so they can understand how to not only manage people more effectively, but how to operate their businesses in a way that helps the communities in which they operate. This book will provide the primer they need to create more effective and ethical businesses.

This book can be purchased at amazon as a kindle or paperback book: https://www.amazon.com/Applied-Humanism-Effective-Ethical-Businesses/dp/1949991423/

If you are interested in using the book in a course please visit Business Expert Press and request a desk copy: https://www.businessexpertpress.com/books/applied-humanism-how-to-create-more-effective-and-ethical-businesses/

The book is divided into 4 sections

1. Introduction to the philosophy of Humanism (Philosophy)
2. Applying Humanism to the Business of Business (Integrating Ethics into Decision Making and Interpersonal Relationships)
3. Problem Solving Like a Humanist (Strategy and Decision Making)
4. Case Studies – Applying Humanist methodology to problems liked Diversity & Inclusion and Harassment problems in the workplace.

Angels in the Workplace

My friend Pauline Mc Charles is a humanistic management colleague of mine. She hosted a really amazing conference in Seattle last fall about building resilience in a changing world.

She is a coach and consultant that helps people find inspiration in the workplace so that employees can make better decisions for the company while maintaining the dignity of all of the participants.

Turns out - she has a book she published. It's a handbook/workbook of sorts. It is designed to help you find the inspiration to help us all remember that everyone you meet is human. And yes, when you practice that - it's inspiring. You can use that to help yourself be more resilient and to create supportive teams that help make the workplace better and by extension, helps your teams make better decision.

Check out her book and let me know what you think. It's called: Inspiration Developers: Angels at the workplace: A handbook - Keep it simple Life is complicated enough

And if you like the book - consider hiring her. You won't be disappointed. She's wonderful and I think the world of her. Here is a link to her website: https://www.inspirationdevelopers.com/

And remember to keep life simple, life is complicated enough. 

Your perception is flawed.

Before you get upset, you might want to consider that you might have misunderstood the situation.

I have been reading a book I grabbed from my father’s house. It’s called Plato and a Platypus Walk Into a Bar (http://amzn.to/2cp3wnx)

The book is a way to teach philosophy using jokes to explain the concepts. If you want to learn about philosophy and don’t want to read an academic book – this is a great way to grasp basic concepts.

I obviously teach a Humanist approach to solving problems, meaning my philosophic approach is to be compassionate, ethical, and rational when trying to solve problems.

A large number of our problems are interpersonal, meaning they involve other people. We don’t like what they did or said. We are right and they are wrong. The problem is that our thinking is biased. We only know what we experience and how we personally experience interactions. We won’t know how the other person does. And their experience might be quite different than ours.

One of the jokes in the book is this:

A man is worried that his wife is losing her hearing, so he consults a doctor. The doctor suggests that he try a simple at home test on her: Stand behind her and ask her a question, first from twenty feet, next from ten feet, and finally right behind her.
So the man goes home and sees his wife in the kitchen facing the stove. He says from the door, “What’s for dinner tonight?”
No answer.
Ten feet behind her, he repeats, “What’s for dinner tonight?”
Still no answer.
Finally, right behind her he says, “What’s for dinner tonight?”
And his wife turns around and says, “For the third time – chicken!”

Don’t assume you know what the other person is experiencing. When you are tempted to get mad and upset and righteously angry. Pause, step back from your moral opining and consider whether or not you are the one at fault!

At the very least – try to approach these problems with compassion so that if it turns out that you were being the idiot – you don’t compound the problem by being an angry idiot.

It’s Not About You!

Image: imagerymajestic /
 FreeDigitalPhotos.net

I’ve recently released a book on bullying (free on KindleMay 14th & 15th 2012 by the way) and as a result, I’m getting a lot of adults talking to me about their own experiences with bullying. It’s clear that pretty much everyone I know was traumatized by bullying as a kid.

Anyway, one person referred me to the essays at Salon on writers confrontingtheir childhood bullies as adults. What struck me about these essays was that in almost all the cases the bully either didn’t really remember specific instances, though they remember teasing or being mean, and/or they talked about how traumatized they were during the period of time and that they themselves were so overwrought with nervousness, stress or bullying themselves.

These essays validate what I’ve been trying to teach people for years and what is at the heart of my book, The Bully Vaccine. The world does not revolve around you. When someone is mean to you it rarely has anything to do with you. The person being mean has their own issues they are dealing with and those issues are rarely about you. This is why these bullies don’t really remember being mean or bullying . Their experience wasn’t about their victims. It was about them and what they themselves were going through at that time.  They, like everyone else, were kids just trying to survive childhood with all the pressures growing up brings with it.

This tidbit of wisdom has so many important ramifications that I devote 2 ½ chapters of my Happiness book to this concept and my entire Bullying book to it. Let me try to summarize. First, by understanding that a bully’s behavior isn’t about you, even though they are being mean to you, you don’t take what they do personally. If you don’t take it personally, you aren’t hurt by what they are doing. You feel sorry for them instead.  

Whenever someone is mean to you, always remember, it’s not about you!

Standing Tall

I just published a book on bullying called, The BullyVaccine.  I was talking to my son about bullying the other day since I’ve taught him the skills I teach in the book and he said, it’s important to stand strong and have courage.

I agree. The problem is, how does one do that?  It isn’t’ easy.  As I was pondering this concept of standing tall, I realized something important. Standing up for yourself doesn’t mean you get violent or demean the person you are standing up to.

Yes, you are defying them, but the best way to stand tall is to stand up, look your oppressor right in the eye and basically say – you don’t scare me and no, I’m not going to stoop to your level. It’s an act of compassionate non-compliance.

It isn’t about fighting back. It’s about declaring that you aren’t going to play the game a bully is playing anymore. And that’s why standing up is such an act of courage.

I don’t think it’s just kids that need to learn this lesson. It’s the adults as well.

Here is a video of my son talking about bullying.

A Good Book

Not to brag or anything, but when your Christian mother in law likes your new book about Humanism, A LOT, you’re doing something right. She called me the other day to tell me she was reading “a good book.” Not the good book, mind you, but a very good book. It was mine. She likes it so much she is planning to share it with others. Did I mention she is a Christian? And that my book is about Humanism? And that the people she is planning to share my book with are Christians?

What she said she liked about my book is that it is filled with just plain old common sense. The sort of stuff her preacher talks about. Living a good life isn’t rocket science. It just requires common sense, which, unfortunately, isn’t always common, and sometimes doesn’t make a lot of sense until someone explains it to you explicitly. But then, once you understand the reasons why, it makes perfect sense and your understanding of the world is more complete as a result.

Humanism is a lot like that. It’s simple. It makes a lot of sense, and is born out of common sense. But until or unless someone explains it to you, it remains a mystery. The other thing this experience teaches is that it is possible to explain Humanism and its emphasis on secularism in a way that makes sense to people of faith and in a way they will listen to, seek out and accept without the knee jerk reaction that characterizes most interactions between atheists and people of faith.

See what a good book can do for you? And yes, I realize this is a shameless plug for my new book, but honestly I couldn't think of any way to not plug the book and share this really cool story- so deal with it! LOL.

And the Winner Is …..

Jumping on a trampoline
makes everyone happy.
So Chill Out and Enjoy Yourself!

Hemant Mehta over at FriendlyAtheist.com ran a contest to win a copy of my new book last week. Since my book includes practical advice, he asked his readers to provide practical advice to someone who has just realized they are an atheist. It was very difficult to decide which answer was the best. But I am happy to announce the winner!

Lore from St. Louis won a copy of my new book. I liked her answer because her advice is good for anyone who has just learned something new that they are excited about, not just for those who are breaking free of their old theologies. Here is what she said, “I wish someone had told me that just because I had recently figured out my own beliefs didn’t mean that everyone else was ready or trying to do the same. It was all well and good that I had rationalized my way through the troubling bits of theology I had been taught growing up, but not everybody was ready to confront those inconsistencies and me trying to force the conversation made me seem like a jerkass. If I could talk to former me I would say ‘Chill out and wait, you will find people who want to have this conversation eventually, but this person is not them.’” Congrats Lore - I hope you enjoy my book.

The runner up was Tim. I liked Tim’s answer precisely because it mirrors my own personal feelings about life, the universe and everything. It encapsulates so much of what makes the Humanist philosophy such a wonderful way to view your place in the grand universe we live in while simultaneously putting to rest the pain of an existential depression. Tim’s answer is as follows, “I think everyone one should be told how awesome they are when throwing off the faith shackles, because it is a tough and sometimes heart breaking thing to do. They should be told that they are part of the cosmic potluck that is everything, which is more amazing than only being part of a very small part of the universe that their faith said they were. We are cousins of stars and siblings of all life and that is pretty damn amazing if you ask me. They should be told that they’re still extremely special because they are unique and smart enough to realize this. That they have the capacity to learn mysteries their faith can’t even imagine and a body that can feel and experience the world around them that can bring more joy than any prayer ever could. And if they don’t believe it they should just try to jump on a trampoline without smiling.”

Lessons learned? Chill out and enjoy yourself!

Pragmatism?

I have been reading Greg Epstein’s new book. Apparently there are several different flavors of atheism. According to him I am a pragmatic atheist, which means that for me whether god(s) exists or not is irrelevant to living an ethical and successful life. I actually told an ethics class at a college that I thought the existence of god was irrelevant a few years back and almost every jaw in the room dropped. Apparently considering gods irrelevant is more shocking then not believing in gods at all. In my defense I was asked to present non-theistic ethics to them so the question of the existence of god was totally relevant to our discussion.

Regardless – I had no idea I was such a pragmatist. I’ve always considered myself an apathetic agnostic, atheist, ignostic apatheist. But what do I know. What is really important to me is not whether gods exist but rather once you have decided for yourself as an individual what you believe or don’t believe about gods, the next question is what is really important. Given what you believe, are you going to approach life with love or with fear and hate? And how does that affect your personal ethics? Your answer to this question, by the way, impacts me and everyone else on the planet. So yeah, color me pragmatic.

And that is why I am a Humanist. Humanism is a very pragmatic approach to living well and being a good person. That is why I titled my book – The Humanist Approach to Happiness: Practical Wisdom. It isn’t a philosophy book so much as a book about the pragmatic reasons for being an ethical, compassionate and responsible person. If you want to learn more you can buy an advanced copy here: http://www.cafepress.com/sumogirl.409202605 If this link is no longer good it means I found a publisher and you can find the new link on my website at http://www.sumogirl.com/