How to keep going when the going gets tough

I was asked by reporter to share one of the most difficult decisions I had to make, this past year. My answer: whether to keep the company going or not.

I'm not going to lie, the last couple of years have been tough. My ability to concentrate on the work has ebbed and flowed and different times. I don't feel like I've been as effective as I have wanted to be. And the pandemic? Well, I've wanted to just - escape. As I think most people have.

The reality is, we are living through a global pandemic. And our primary job in a pandemic is to survive the pandemic. The instinct to insulate the family and just withdraw, is a protective instinct. It's healthy actually.

The problem is, that instinct is at odds with running a company with requires, not withdrawal, but engagement.  Finding the will to stay engaged has been really tough for me.

I have ultimately decided to stay engaged because, I really do feel that what I do matters and can make the world a better place.

Being a Humanist helps, because it encourages me to think - beyond myself into my impact on others. And it's honestly - only my feeling of responsibility to others that has kept me going. 

If you are struggling too - you have my sympathy. My advice? It's ok to feel like you are struggling when the reality is - you are struggling.  That's acknowledging reality.  It's also ok to take care of your own for a while. But for me, I always pair that with my concern and care for others.

Hugs regardless of what you decide to do for you. 

Self Care in Divided Times

Pretty much every woman I speak to is stressed out. Really stressed out.  We are having trouble concentrating at work. We can’t seem to get work done in a timely manner. What’s up and how can we help ourselves?

It should come as no surprise to anyone that as a humanist – I really don’t like Trump. He scares me. Not only is he a bully that routinely dehumanizes people he disagrees with – he’s a bully, which means he also has autocratic dictatorial tendencies.  I happen to like democracy and human rights and things like that, so what this guy and his enablers might do to our democracy – has me worried.

Even if you like Trump, and many do, there are a lot of people who are just as worried about “liberals destroying America” as I am of Trump destroying America. And when you think about it, that’s a pretty sorry state of affairs. We are being played against each other by politicians and Putin. The solution to that is to remember we are all humans and not evil. We all pretty much want the same things.

But back to self care. Given our fear levels and stress levels and the need to safeguard all we hold near and dear, we need to engage in some serious self care. I don’t view self care as an abdication of my responsibilities to other. I view it as an important part of my activism.

By taking care of myself. By taking time to enjoy the little and big things in life. And yes, by getting on with the normalcy of life, I not only reduce my stress levels, I also remind myself what it is I am fighting for.

Albert Camus wrote and fought in WWII in Europe. He struggled to keep his humanity and to remember the humanity of the people he fought. And he wrote about his struggles to maintain a sense of beauty and humanity in himself during the struggles. His essay Return to Tipasa is about exactly this and I am linking to it here.  https://genius.com/Albert-camus-return-to-tipasa-annotated

“For violence and hatred dry up the heart itself; the long fight for justice exhausts the love that nevertheless gave birth to it. In the clamor in which we live, love is impossible and justice does not suffice. This is why Europe hates daylight and is only able to set injustice up against injustice. But in order to keep justice from shriveling up like a beautiful orange fruit containing nothing but a bitter, dry pulp, I discovered once more at Tipasa that one must keep intact in oneself a freshness, a cool wellspring of joy, love the day that escapes injustice, and return to combat having won that light.”

If you are struggling with anger – consider taking this course by Dr Leon Seltzer: https://humanistlearning.com/angermanagement101/

If you want to learn how to advocate for your positions without being a jerk about it take this one:  https://humanistlearning.com/socratic-jujitsu/

If you need help learning how to cope and integrate your values into your day to day life – take this one: http://humanistlearning.info/livingmadesimpler1/

If you want to learn how to overcome your hidden biases against other people so you can once again view them as truly human – take this free course: https://humanistlearning.com/controlling-our-unconscious-bias/

And finally, if you want to learn how to sort out the falsehood from truth – take this course: https://humanistlearning.com/realitybaseddecisionmaking/