Learning Through Failing: Lessons Learned from Playing Solitaire

I play a LOT of online solitaire. I'm regularly ranked in the top 20 in Microsoft Casual Games Solitaire and recently completed their 10,000 point challenge in record time. I ranked in the top 10 in that challenge.  

To get there, I played a lot of solitaire and that meant failing. A lot. But, I got better, to the point I'm really good at it now.  

Failure is a given. 

Random decks might not be solvable at all. When I was younger, I never understood why my mother loved playing solitaire given that she failed to clear the deck on most hands. I now understand that failure is part of why it's so challenging. Failure is not a bug - it's a feature. 

In our pursuit of success and personal growth, it's essential to embrace the valuable lessons that failure offers. One unexpected source of such insights can be found in a seemingly simple game of solitaire. This classic card game, known for its challenging nature, presents a treasure trove of wisdom on perseverance, resilience, and the power of learning through failure. In this blog post, we'll explore the lessons we can glean from solitaire and how they can be applied to various aspects of our lives.

Stick to it – It's OK to Fail – Failing is Learning:

Solitaire teaches us the importance of persistence and accepting failure as an integral part of the learning process. When playing the game, it's not uncommon to encounter obstacles and make mistakes. However, the key is to keep going, learn from each setback, and adapt your strategy accordingly. By sticking with the game, you develop resilience, patience, and an understanding that failure is not the end but an opportunity for learning what not to do, which is valuable. There is an old saying, an expert is someone who has learned all the wrong ways to do something and so knows to avoid them. 

It's OK to Put It Down and Pick It Up Later:

Sometimes, when faced with a challenging solitaire game, it's beneficial to take a step back and approach it with fresh eyes later on. Often I find a puzzle I can't solve one day, is easy the next. The puzzle hasn't changed, but my approach has. 

Similarly, in life, it's essential to give ourselves permission to step away from a problem or situation that seems insurmountable. By allowing ourselves to take a break and gain a new perspective, we often discover innovative solutions or approaches that were previously elusive. Remember, it's not always about pushing harder; sometimes, it's about creating space for creativity and reflection.

Improvement Comes with Practice:

Solitaire, like any skill, requires practice to master. Each game presents an opportunity to refine your strategies, enhance your decision-making skills, and develop a deeper understanding of the game's mechanics. It also takes time for our brain to learn the patterns and to see them more quickly.

If you follow me, you know that I am both a Humanist and a Behaviorist. The behaviorist in me knows, every game is training my brain to recognize patterns and to see solutions and predict the right course of action more quickly. The reason I am ranked so high is because I not only get the puzzles right, I do them quicker than most of the the other 500k people doing the puzzles on any given day.  Practice helps the brain learn patterns it can then use to solve problems easier. 

Similarly, in life, improvement and growth come through consistent effort and practice. Embrace the iterative nature of learning, understanding that every failure brings you one step closer to success. With each game of solitaire, you become more adept at spotting patterns, making calculated moves, and optimizing your chances of winning. The same principle applies to any endeavor in life.

How does this relate to Humanistic Management?

Surprisingly, the game of solitaire can offer valuable insights into the practice of humanistic management, particularly in terms of learning through failure. Let's explore how the principles of humanistic management can be related to the lessons we learn from solitaire, ultimately fostering a more compassionate and growth-oriented approach in our personal and professional lives.

Nurturing Individual Growth and Resilience:

In humanistic management, the focus is on supporting the growth and well-being of individuals within an organization. Similarly, solitaire teaches us to embrace failure as an opportunity for personal growth. By encouraging players to persevere through challenging games, solitaire cultivates resilience and an understanding that setbacks are part of the learning process. Relating this to humanistic management, organizations should create an environment that encourages individuals to take risks, learn from mistakes, and grow both personally and professionally.

Learning from Failure and Encouraging Innovation:

Humanistic management promotes a learning culture that values open communication, feedback, and continuous improvement. In solitaire, each failed game presents an opportunity to analyze mistakes and adjust strategies accordingly. Likewise, organizations should foster a culture that celebrates failures as valuable learning experiences. By embracing failure and encouraging individuals to share their lessons learned, organizations can drive innovation, creativity, and the pursuit of new solutions.

Balancing Well-being and Productivity:

Humanistic management recognizes the importance of balancing well-being and productivity, understanding that individuals perform better when their physical, mental, and emotional needs are met. Solitaire teaches us the significance of taking breaks and gaining fresh perspectives to overcome challenges. Similarly, organizations should promote work-life balance, provide support systems, and create spaces for rejuvenation. By doing so, employees can return to their tasks with renewed focus and enhanced problem-solving abilities.

Cultivating a Growth Mindset and Continuous Learning:

A fundamental aspect of humanistic management is the belief in the potential for growth and development in every individual. Solitaire teaches us that improvement comes with practice and a growth mindset. Relating this to humanistic management, organizations should provide opportunities for training, skill development, and learning. Encouraging individuals to continuously enhance their knowledge and skills fosters a sense of fulfillment, personal growth, and a thriving organizational culture.

Learn More:

Are you ready to become a more humanistic leader? Look no further than the Principles of Humanistic Leadership course, offered by Humanist Learning Systems. This course beautifully aligns with the insights we've explored in this blog post, "Embracing Humanistic Management: Lessons from Solitaire on Learning Through Failure." By enrolling in this course, you will delve deeper into the principles of humanistic management and discover practical strategies to implement them in your leadership role. Just as solitaire teaches us the value of perseverance, embracing failure, and nurturing personal growth, this course will equip you with the knowledge and skills to become a compassionate and effective leader. 

Course: https://humanistlearning.com/principles-of-humanistic-leadership/

Book: https://humanistlearning.com/book-and-video-principles-of-humanistic-leadership/

When is it ok to give up?

There is an entire section of the self-help industry devoted to motivation for a reason.

Everyone struggles with this at some point. Should we throw in the towel or keep going?  The problem we have when making this decision, a problem that the motivation industry perpetuates, is that we all fall prey to the sunk cost fallacy.

The sunk cost fallacy is the idea that if you quit a project before it is completed the time, energy and money you have already sunk into the project will be lost/thrown away.  This isn’t always true, but most people think way. The problem is that the higher our sunk costs, the costlier it feels like to quit. So we keep going. That’s not necessarily a good thing. Especially if the odds of success are low and you don’t figure into your thinking your future sunk costs.

One of the topics I teach is really based strategy development (see my website humanistlearning.com for a list of courses).  Sunk costs should not be a factor in your decision making.  Here’s why.

Your goal isn’t the project. Your goal is what you hope the project will achieve. Keeping your eye on your real goals will help you recognize when a project isn’t getting you to where you want to go.

For this reason, every 6 months I like to re-evaluate what I am doing and why I am doing it and realign my objectives and my projects. If something isn't working there is a reason for it and often if I step back, I can find a way around it by doing something else.  Often, I can redirect what I was working on into a slightly different project that yields better results. In this way – my sunk costs are no long lost, they are redirected towards more effective methods.

If you are wondering whether you should give up on a project or not. I can’t answer that for you.  It depends on the context and what is at stake. If you aren’t clear about what the stakes are, you will have a very hard time making a good decision. For this reason, I encourage people to think about what it is they value and what sort of impact they want to have on the world.   You can then consider whether your goals (primary, secondary & tertiary) should be realigned.

Let me know if I can help you with this. I have a video streaming on amazon about about how to use your ethical values (primary, secondary and tertiary) to know when to refocus (It's not giving up - it's refocusing) http://amzn.to/2f4jLHy

Just Keep Swimming

Sometimes all you can do is keep going.

I have a friend who, whenever things get tough sings, just keep swimming from Finding Nemo.  I love it when she does that because it’s a great life philosophy. And even though my friend is Christian, I think it’s very humanistic of her.

Here’s why. Life is hard. It’s difficult and things don’t always go your way. But being alive, as hard as it is, is better than the alternative.

By reminding yourself to just keep swimming when things get hard, you are doing 2 very important things.

• Telling yourself not to give up, and
• Reminding yourself that things will eventually get better. They normally do.

Why is that important? Because hope is what keeps humanity going. Lose hope, lose your will to live.

If you know that if you just keep swimming, you will eventually end up somewhere, anywhere, it’s easier to bear the present, as unpleasant as it is.

So, just keep swimming.

Positive Perseverance

While persevering is no guarantee of success, there can be no success without it.

Life is hard. Sometimes annoyingly so. I feel like my husband and I have been going through a period of bad luck where things just aren’t going our way. It’s frustrating. But, we stick at it, and keep plugging along working to make things better for ourselves, our family and the world in which we live.

What keeps us going? Well, first, that we don’t have an alternative. Things are what they are and we have no choice but to deal with them. We might as well tackle these things with a positive attitude.

I liken this to my son who hates doing homework and is bored doing it. Whenever he says, I’m bored, I say, so am I, so get the homework done so we can go do something else more fun. Drudgery is a part of life. Get it done and move on and the better the attitude you have about the drudgery, the quicker you get it over with. Fighting it just draws it out.

The next thing that keeps us going is hope.  Hope for the future. Again, we may continue to have bad luck. There is only so much that we can control in our lives. But that shouldn’t stop us from making an effort. There is a lot we can control and by doing those things we improve the possibility that our luck might change. That we may get a break.

An example of this is looking for a new job. There are still way to many people out of work and it doesn’t matter how well qualified you are, you may still lose out on a job to another candidate. Don’t take it personally. My husband lost out on a job a while back that he was actually the top candidate for until another guy lost his job and became available and knocked my husband out of the running. Sometimes things like that happen and sometimes you catch a break. The point is that unless you persevere and keep trying you won’t even be in the running.

For me, the work I do is lonely. I’m a writer. I post stuff and rarely does anyone respond. But sometimes they do and sometimes you find that you had a tremendous impact on someone else’s life. Like yesterday I got a call from a mother who told me that her daughter has become totally empowered because of a book I wrote. If I wasn’t out there persevering despite the lack of positive response, I would not have even met that woman in the first place to have had that impact.

You never know what will come of your efforts. Possibly nothing. But even if that is true, it is still worth it to positively persevere. Because you just never know.

Do you have a story of perseverance you’d like to share? Please share if you do because it will help motivate the rest of us to keep going when the going gets hard.