Watch Out for Each Other

 I was waiting for a subway train in Philadelphia a few weeks back.  To my right, was a man - leering at a woman who was standing to my left.  It was a proper leer and it lasted the entire time we waited for our train. 

I made a decision to intercept this man if he made a move toward the woman.  The woman moved to avoid this man's gaze.  He moved so he could continue looking at her. I moved to block his gaze. He moved again - always so he could see her. 

It is entirely possible that this man didn't have any nefarious intentions. He did not move towards her. He just was intently looking at her, and it was super clear - he was aroused by her. 

The problem is - none of us knew if he was just looking, or was planning to attack her in his mind. And neither did she. And neither did I. Or any of the other women who were aware this was happening on the platform - because - we all were aware of his intense sexual interest in this woman.

When men ask, what is the harm in looking. There isn't a harm in looking. There is harm in leering. 

You might think - whatever you are thinking is in your own mind and it's not hurting anyone. This man might not have been aware he was leering. But he was - for about 10 minutes. 

Every single woman on that platform - was on edge as a result of this man's leering. This wasn't a simple - look at a pretty woman. This was a guy who was clearly thinking more intensely about having sex with this woman. And - it was scary. Not just for her - but for everyone who started making plans on how to keep this woman safe from this man.

1) Don't be like this guy. We don't have problems with men glancing. Leering and obviously thinking about sex with a woman you don't know - is not ok. You are not entitled to invade her space and make her feel unsafe like that. Your body language - matters!!! 

2) If you see it happening, make sure you are between the woman and the guy doing this.

3) Be prepared to physically protect the woman and make it clear, you are protecting her so the guy knows. 

Basically - watch out for each other. 

6 Reasons to be a Humanist

A list of reasons why being a Humanist is a better choice than other options.

There are many reasons why I choose to live life as a Humanist. There are so many benefits.  Here are some statements about Humanism from different people that will hopefully help you understand what some of the main benefits are.

1. Our methods of being responsible for and taking control of our lives more often leads to increased freedom and happiness than hoping and praying. (Dave Collamer)
2. We Humanists are actively engaged with life and affirm and delight in so many aspects of living. (Tim McGuire)
3. By having no set definition or dogma for what is moral, we are forced to consider the opinions of our fellow humans. And by considering their opinions, hopefully improve upon our own. (me)
4. Humanism is optimistic – it helps us find the courage to confront our problems and solve them instead of giving in to despair. (me)
5. Even in death, we humanists celebrate life. Yes, we mourn and grieve for those we love, but we choose to focus on the miraculous reality of the life that has been lived, (Tim McGuire)
6. Our compassion based ethics help us not only come to better moral conclusions that any alternative morality, it also helps us regulate our emotional response to difficult situations as well – so bonus. (me)

What do you think the benefits are to the Humanist approach to life?