House Hunters International, the Rule of Threes and Reality Based Problem Solving.

I have a guilty pleasure. I really like watching people move to foreign countries and figure out where to live. My husband and I have started watching House Hunters International. It dawned on me one of the reasons I like the show is because of how they utilize the rule of threes to help the participants choose where to live.

I have been editing a new book for a publisher on applied humanism for business management. We don't have a release date yet (Feb 2019) - but feel free to look it up as it should be available later in the year. 

Anyway - one of the sections has to do with reality based decision making and critical thinking. And in that section I discuss using the rule of threes to help both expand your thinking and simplify your thinking simultaneously.  I have been using this technique for decades and yes, that does age me.

My point is that if I have a difficult decision to make - I list at least 3 requirements of a good solution, and I consider at least 3 options to find a solution that will meet my criteria.

I find this helps me simplify my thinking quite a bit and yields good results.  I can also use this to engage in brain storming, but that is outside the scope of this post and if you want to learn more - then check out my course, book and dvd - Reality Based Decision Making for Effective Strategy Development - and yes - I do do group training on this topic. https://humanistlearning.com/video-reality-based-decision-making-for-effective-strategy-development/

In House Hunters International - they use the rule of threes, exactly as I do. And the participants are almost always super happy with the results, or at least they say they are.  So how does this work?

We have 2 people looking for housing in some city somewhere in the world. They meet with a realtor and list 3 things they really want in a property. This could be a yard, or a view or a washer and dryer or a specific location close to city center and of course price. Whatever the criteria is - there is at least 3 criteria against which they are going to judge their housing options.

They then view 3 different properties. Some of these properties meet more of the criteria than others do. Some might have a yard but be farther away from their ideal location. Some might be in the ideal location, but more expensive than they want.

The participants then have to weigh the three different properties against their three stated criteria and pick the property that they feel will best meet their needs based on their criteria.  Once a decision is made- we get a 3 months later update on how they are adjusting to their new home. 

I realized that the reason this appeals to me is not only that it allows me to live vicariously through other people  But I also like it because it's such a logical way to go about making what is really a life altering decision.   And I get to think along and consider what decision I would make given the criteria the people set for themselves.  I have learned that I am willing to let go of some of my like to have - to stay within budget. That is super important to me.

Which brings me to another thing I like about the show - participants have to weigh the things they value - against each other. And this is a lot like ethics. We have things we value. When we can't get an ideal solution which of those values is paramount?  I LOVE thinking about what I think is most important in any given situation and I think practicing making decisions - is a good thing to practice because the more you practice the better you get. 

If you are interesting in learning more about how I use the rule of threes - check out the course/book etc - https://humanistlearning.com/video-reality-based-decision-making-for-effective-strategy-development/ 

And just so you know - I would love to live in Valencia Spain or Kobe Japan so if anyone has work for me in either location - let me know. 

What does it mean to be practical

To me being practical means being reality based. I might be shooting for the sky – but my strategy to get there – is grounded in reality.

It does not mean to limit myself. It is just a reminder that if I want to achieve my goals – I need to take practical reality-based steps to make it a reality.

Being practical means understanding that my ultimate objective is more important than the steps I take to get there – so I can innovate and be flexible in my plans. 

Being practical means – not getting side tracked on fun things that don’t get me to my ultimate objective.

Of course, to be practical – means really understanding what my ultimate objective really is.

I offer online personal and professional development programs on humanist life skills. Just published my course – Planning for Personal Success ( https://humanistlearning.com/planforpersonalsuccess/) as an ebook, a paperback and as an audio book. https://amzn.to/2VSFbsu

Reality based decision making - it's important

Came across this graphic the other day and wanted to comment on it. Reality based decision making is important - because it saves lives.

When we have problems it's very easy to make assumptions about what is causing those problems. The problem is - if you don't know what is causing your problem, you won't know what will work to solve it and you can end up making your problem a whole lot worse.

Science based approaches to problem solving help us fix our problems. We should use them and reject non-science based approaches if we actually want to be successful.  

We now use science for medical problems, but we should also use it to help us fix our economy. We don't have to guess. People have studied this. We also know what works with health care policy and what policies make things worse.

So everyone - please push for science based solutions everywhere in every realm of your life, but in particular, the political realm. While making guesses may hurt you - when governments guess - they can end up killing a LOT of people.

To learn more about reality based decision making, consider taking my online course: 

https://humanistlearning.com/realitybaseddecisionmaking/

Business Plan Reviews

I used to be involved in franchise sales and I reviewed countless business plans in that capacity to ensure that our potential franchisees understood not only what they were getting into but that they were properly capitalized so that they would have the best chance of success. I was recently asked about how to take a reality based approach to business planning.

- What sections are the most essential elements of the business plan?

 Income and expenses.  The main thing I would look for was whether the individual had allocated enough money for marketing purposes and whether or not their income and expenses looked realistic.

 - What story should the business plan tell?

Where does the money come from and how is the money going to be spent.  Everything else is fluff. Either the person understands how their proposed business makes money and what they need to do to realize that potential, or they don’t.

- What common business plan mistakes do you see the most?

Most people over-estimate their income and under-estimate their expenses. Business plans are a work of optimism. The problem is – they also need to be realistic. Understanding what is realistic is key.

- What is your advice for startups and entrepreneurs that are writing or refining their business plan for review?

Halve your income and double your expenses. 

- What is the most vital piece of information in the business plan? 

 How long until you realistically break even? Do you have enough capital to ensure that you can make it that far? Too often people over-estimate their income and under-estimate their expenses. Then, just as they are starting to gain traction, their money starts to run out so they cut expenses in the only place they can – which is their marketing. When that happens, they tend to die a slow death.   Understanding, realistically, what has to be invested and how long until you see a realistic return at your break even point – will help you avoid this fate.

- What is your #1 business plan advice?

Halve your income and double your expenses. If you still want to do this with your worst-case scenario numbers, take the leap.

- Anything else that you'd like to add - that relates to the composition of a business plan? 

Make sure you understand your motives for starting a business. Why is it you are doing this?  Without truly understanding your own motivations, you may not have the stick to-it-ness that will help you keep going when things get tough. And… they are going to get tough.

The best motivations are working to help other people. If all you want to do is make money, then you probably won’t stick it out when the going gets tough. If you want to help people, nothing will stop you.

To learn more about how to make better more realistic decisions, take my online course; Reality Based Decision Making for Effective Strategy Development.

If you want to learn more about humanistic management – take the short self-study problem – Principles of Humanistic Management

Confronting Lies

I’m afraid that this may be one of those – do as I say, not as I do posts.  I know what I should be doing ideally, but I don’t always do it. That’s ok. This is practice, not perfection, thought that shouldn’t be an excuse to not try and correct our bad behavior in the future.

For me, there is nothing quite so infuriating as a lie. I suppose I lead a sheltered life if this is my main beef with the world, but hear me out.  I am all about reality based problem solving.  Lies prevent reality based problem solving. They interfere.  Think of it as a form of verbal bullying designed to get people to take courses of action that will not only not work, but may cause harm.

Why would people do this?  Because they either don’t know what they are saying is not true, or … they have something to gain from the lie.

There are a couple of different ways to think aboiut how we deal with lying.

One is behavioral. Lying is a behavior and can be modified with behavioral modification techniques. In politics, there is a WHOLE LOT of misinformation being spread by otherwise normal caring people who have no idea that they were lied to or that the post they just shared is a lie or is based on a lie. These people have been conditioned to do this and can be conditioned to stop. The key is to remove the reward by letting them know – this isn’t true.   Yes, when you do this – people retreat. But they also come back. The retreat and the re-entrenchment is what happens when a reward is not received for some behavior. Just be patient and allow them to come back for more. Eventually – they may even start to trust you. 

Am I good at this?  Depends on the lie that is being told to me. I gotta be honest, lies that are told by white nationalists, because they involve denying and erasing people from the public sphere are so horrendous to me that I have zero patience and sometimes – lose it. But I keep reminding myself to try and be calmer the next time.

Another possibility is that the person is lying because they are pathological about it. Lying has become so much of a habit that like any habit – they can’t break it. You can’t get them to stop, your goal should instead be to make sure people listening, understand it’s a lie. Challenging them won’t change them, but it may help others avoid falling prey.

The final category is people who lie strategically for gain. These are the hardest to deal with because most of what they say is true so you won’t notice the lie slipping through. These require skepticism and doubt. 

Which brings me to the technique – doubt. Skepticism. When someone tells a lie calling them out as a liar is ok. Especially if it is a bald face lie. But for people who don’t know they are lying, you need to get them to doubt and you do that – not by calling them a liar- but in letting them know you are highly skeptical and doubtful that what they just shared is true.

Is this easy to do in the moment when you are confronted by obvious lies? No. But we have to start somewhere.

Learning Socratic Jujitsu can help - the online course is only $15 https://humanistlearning.com/socratic-jujitsu/