Feeling Overwhelmed?

Learning how to take 1 thing at a time is a critical skill for leaders.

My dad died a couple of months ago. I bring this up not for sympathy but because it left me feeling overwhelmed. I simply didn’t have the brain power to do much of anything besides grieve. And that’s ok. It’s kind of expected with grief.

The problem is that the world doesn’t stop when I feel overwhelmed. I still had things to do, a family to care for, work related tasks and publication deadlines to make. As much as I might want to scream – stop the world I want to get off – it’s not going to happen.

One thing at a time

I find that when I am overwhelmed, I need to not look at the enormity of the task or tasks in front of me, but just focus on 1 thing at a time and get that 1 thing done.  Once it is done, I can do the next thing.

The hard part in doing one thing at a time is not worrying about the other things that also need to get done. To help me with this – I write out a timeline – what all needs to get done. Knowing that I am not going to miss something helps me focus in the present on the 1 thing I need to do. When I am done, I look at the list for the next thing.

And when other things come up that I need to deal with – I look at my list. It’s either time for me to work on that other thing or it’s not. My to do list helps me to reject intrusions that I can’t handle at the moment. I might add them to a to do later list, but I’m not taking them on right at this minute.

What I find when I do this is that by allowing myself to be overwhelmed and allowing myself to restrict my activities to just those things that I really have to do and by doing them 1 thing at a time, I fairly quickly stop feeling so overwhelmed and am able to return to normal activity levels sooner rather than later.

Be Realistic

At this stage in my life I have no illusions about what I can handle and what I can’t. And I know that I don’t do anyone any favors by pretending I’m ok when I’m really not.

We all get overwhelmed. That’s ok. Not taking care of yourself just makes things worse. Trying to soldier on through and get things done when you aren’t capable of it only means that the things you do get done don’t get done well and you will continue to feel stressed out and overwhelmed and you will not be performing at the level you should be.

The most effective way to get back to a high level of performance is to take a break and to focus on 1 thing at a time and do it well so that your brain can relax. If your brain is so stressed it can’t think well, give it a break. The sooner you acknowledge your frail humanity, the sooner you can do what you need to do to take care of yourself and get better.

If you are feeling overwhelmed, take it 1 day at a time and 1 task at a time. You have my permission.  These are boundaries you need to set for yourself so that you can take care of others. Good luck.

The World Doesn’t Revolve Around You

File this under Humanistic Management

As much as we would like interoffice and intraoffice communication to go smoothly, the reality is that we humans aren’t robots. We are real people with real issues, real dreams, real desires and real insecurities. This means, a simple communication to ask a co-worker for some help can often be viewed as a form of power struggle between competing rivals.

Look.  We all have a tendency to read into emails and letters what was left unspoken.  Some of us are better at this than others, meaning that what we read into things is accurate. Most of us, however, are REALLY REALLY bad at this and read into things stuff that isn’t there.

What dictates our success or failure in this area is whether or not we are taking into account the actual motivation of other people or their perceived motivation. To help you reach the actual motivation, it is helpful to remember that the world doesn’t revolve around you. This person has their own issues and concerns that likely have nothing to do with you. Once you realize that, it puts you in a position to actually be helpful instead of competitive. And that will help everyone be more successful.

You Ain’t Leading

Do you even know if they want to cross the bridge?
Renjith Krishnan/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net

File this under Humanistic Leadership. Lots of people like to think they are leaders, but if no one is following you, you ain’t leading.

It’s amazing how many leaders don’t get this. They get mad at people for failing to see how brilliant they are or how important the work they think needs to get done is. If people aren’t following you, the problem must lie in the stupidity of the followers who are refusing to follow. Right? Wrong. If people ain’t following you, it’s your fault. And launching ad hominen attacks on the people you would like to have follow you isn’t going to endear you to them.  

If you want people to follow you, you first need to take the time to find out what it is THEY want to accomplish. They could care less about what you want. What they want to know is how you are going to help them accomplish what THEY want. But unless you are willing to find out what THEY want, you aren’t going to be able to help them see how your plan of action will help them. If you want people to follow, you need to step back, consider the problem from their perspective, and help walk them through step by step how what you are proposing is going to help them and you get to your shared goal.

Never underestimate the intelligence of your followers. They aren’t stupid if they aren’t following you, they are just being skeptical, and that’s a good thing. If you want to lead people, you first need to give them a good reason to follow you.

(If you want to get more information on Humanistic Leadership - visit http://humanisticleadership.com/ )