Death isn’t Depressing

Well, ok, yes it is. But only in context.  When someone we love and care about dies. It saddens us. We will no longer be able to spend time or talk to our friend. We experience that loss as grief. However, when we think about our own death, it doesn’t necessarily have to depress us. It all depends on how you approach it. 

At some point, all of us will die, unless we experience a singularity that allows us to live forever. I’m not holding my breath on that.  I’d like to life for a few hundred years, but that isn’t realistic at this time.  And being a humanist, I am nothing, if not realistic.

So, I accept that at some point I will die and miss out on everything that will occur after my death.  And yeah, that is a little depressing.  But here is how the average Humanist turns that around.

Knowing that we are eventually going to die makes life precious to us. We have a finite amount of time to live. It would be a shame to waste it. This is why a huge part of what it is to be a Humanist is to live life to the fullest. This is a choice we make and yes, it means we are living life intentionally too. Because you can’t live life fully unless you live it intentionally.

So don’t think about death as a depressing thing. Instead, use the knowledge of death to spur you to embrace life fully.

Image: "Two Sad Girls At A Grave" by Stuart Miles http://www.freedigitalphotos.net/

Have people forgotten how to have fun?

I ask because it seems like a lot of people go around moping all day. And granted, they are probably dealing with quite a bit of crap. We all are. But there are some people who seem to enjoy being down in the dumps. Others like to pretend to be deep and so act brooding to show just how deep their thoughts really are. After all, no one believes that a happy person has deep thoughts. How could they? If they were awake to the horror that is living, there is no way they could be happy. Right?

WRONG! It is perfectly possible to be happy despite it all. Not all the time, granted, but much of the time anyway. And, why not be happy? Isn’t there enough sorrow in the world? Why not take advantage of little moments of happiness that chance to come your way? Haven’t you earned them?

I am not suggesting you should ignore your problems. That isn’t the Humanist way. I am just saying that approaching your problems with optimism and humor not only makes it easier to even want to tackle your problems it will also help you notice the good things that are happening around you. As a result, you are more likely to be happy.

Happy 101 Sweet Friends

I've decided to actually (gasp) participate in a blogging meme. Which means - I am going to participate in Happy 101 Sweet Friends. I am to list 10 things that make me happy and then tag 10 friends who make me happy. Since I am all about happiness, this one resonates with me. It is always a good idea to take a moment and think about the things that make us happy. It makes dealing with the little niggling annoying details soooo much easier. So here goes in no particular order.

1) My family. Obviously my son and my husband make me very happy. I picked an excellent man to marry and our son is really cool, funny, interesting and loving. Being with them makes me very happy.

2) Spandau Ballet. Ok I know that sort of dates me, but I have been listening to their new album in my car almost exclusively for a month now and it makes me happy. Spandau has always had that effect on me. Its pretty meditative in a way. Turns out they make my son happy too. He is 4. Sometimes he is upset that we have to leave somewhere fun, and then the Spandau music helps him feel happy and he really likes that. Trust me - if you are unhappy, get yourself some Spandau.

3) Camping. I love camping. I don't remember being that enamored with it when I was a child, but now it is one of my favorite things to do with my family. Of course, my enjoyment is due in large part to the wonderfulness of my husband. I do the packing and set up the bedding. My hubby handles cooking, cleaning and all other assorting duties, so I can just enjoy myself without stressing out. Plus, its economical. So double plus good.

4) A Beach. There is just something about a large body of salt water that relaxes me and makes me happy. (sigh). I have seen whales, dolphins and manatees just by sitting on a beach. I think what makes me happy about a beach is that it allows me to easily commune with nature. When I was ten I wrote a note to myself that my favorite things in the world were the ocean and music. Still are. Which brings me to:

5) Musical Theater. My all time favorites are: Oliver, 1776, Sweeney Todd, How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying, She Loves Me, and Evita. I know all these shows by heart and can sing them on demand. There are lots of others I enjoy as well - like everything from G&S. My 4 year old is a fan of Oliver now. But my favorite for just pure feel good love is She Loves Me. If you ever get a chance to see this delightful show - do it. My first time was with my dad and we saw it on a whim and we left the theater positively giddy!

6) Singing. I like to sing.

7) Canal Boating. My first canal boat trip was in 2004 on the Union Canal in Scotland. Best Vacation Ever! I am totally hooked and now have a long list of canals I want to vacation on. We did the Erie Canal in 2008. And yes, our son loved that trip It's a great way to vacation. We are eventually hoping to do the Llangollen, Canal du Midi and others.

8) Thinking. Seriously, contemplating the universe is a very enjoyable pastime for me. I usually do my best thinking while hanging out on my porch listening to Hawaiian music.

9) Yoga. I really enjoy the practice of yoga. It feels good to get stronger and more balanced the more you practice. This is one of those things where the more you do it the more you like it.

10) Milkshakes.

OK - now for my favorite blogs:

• A Little Bit Quirky - a blog from a good friend with a high functioning autistic daughter.
• Letters from Abroad - Intelligent, Humanist, ex-mormon, mom living abroad with her family.
• Humanist
  Weddings in Scotland - The joys of Humanist weddings
• Unscripted - The thoughts of an African American Humanist and mom
• Wind from Nowhere - blasphemous and thought provoking artwork
• The Swede Life - a Floridian midwife and mom now living in Sweden shares her thoughts
• JoachimWorld - my friend and fellow Humanist Joachim De Posada's blog. He is an motivational speaker and author.
• Shades of Emerald - a friend who runs a green business making organic pesticide free bags and totes.
• The Sober Secularist - The musings of a former AA apologist. Promotes secular sobriety.
• The Humanist Homeschool Mom - I really enjoy her musings.
• Nabeel A. Khan: Humanist and Journalist - for a global perspective on issues I wouldn't normally think about.

Situational-ly Speaking

I love facebook. Have lots of cool conversations with friends and folks on there. One of my friends posed a question. Are there any rules you are willing to break? The very question assumes that ethics are situational. My response was that yeah – of course I break rules all the time. I just have a personal rule that I only break rules if there is a good reason and no harm will come from me breaking that rule. So, yes, I do my best to follow all the traffic laws.

Another person agreed with me but came up with this mini rule list because let’s face it – 10 commandments are just too many. For this individual you can sum up how to be a good person in 4 easy steps.

1) Harm None
2) Pursue Happiness
3) Be excellent to each other and....
4) Party on dude!

He then had to explain that while harm none seems really easy it does have gray areas that in practice need to be thought about. Like, if harming one saves the lives of thousands - is it then ok to harm one? Don’t you just love situational ethics? They force you think. But that isn’t a bad thing.

You are a dork!

Actually, everyone is, just not everyone admits it. I do. And I am happy as a result. In fact, I think one of the keys to being a happy person is freeing yourself from the fear that people won’t approve of you when you are your dorky little self.

Look at it this way. Trying to figure out how to act so other people approve of you is exhausting and impossible. Trying to act in a way that isn’t how you would normally act is also exhausting and can only be done for short periods of time. So, you might as well be yourself.

Of course, to pull this off and not be ostracized from polite society you still need to be a responsible compassionate and ethical person. But as long as you are, then being a dork will actually help you make true friends that you can actually relax around. And that will make you happy.

Gotta Be Me

Being comfortable with who you are is important. You cannot be happy if you don't like yourself. So don't let other people's insecurities rub off on you. Just be who you are and allow yourself to be happy.

Use Common Sense

Humanist strive to live long and happy lives. In order to live long and happy lives, you must be healthy and.... alive. To that end, it is probably not a good idea to do stupid things while driving your car. Things like, oh, I don't know... folding your laundry. Surely you are not in that much of a rush that your laundry folding can't wait until you get home. I am not an expert, but it seems to me that folding laundry while driving is almost guaranteed to end your life sooner, rather then later. And that is not conductive to living a long and happy life. So please people, use some common sense. Don't fold your laundry while driving.

Happiness Though Humanism

Hi all - just starting this blog to have a specific place to post on topics related to how Humanism can help you be a happier person. In this blog I will write about how specific aspects of the Humanist philosophy can be applied to real life situations to help people do better, be happier and more productive.