May we all balter more!

Don’t worry if you look silly, do what you enjoy anyway.

Balter is a middle English word, it means to dance or tread clumsily. I love that there is a word for this and that we can finally change the axiom, dance as if no one is looking into – May we all balter more!

I agree with the sentiment that we should dance as if no one is looking, but really, that’s a solitary thing.  It’s about claiming your clumsiness and enjoying yourself anyway.

What I liked about the idea of baltering is that it is social. We all balter.   I know I balter. My son and my husband certainly do. But my son has dyspraxia so he can be excused, he can’t help it.  Given that we can’t really help but balter from time to time, why not acknowledge our common tendency to balter and make our baltering dances, not a symbol of independence, though that is important. But rather a way to bring us all together as the flawed humans we are.

Our problem isn't that we aren't alone. The problem is that we are alone and we don’t want to be.  We want to have a community or tribe that we feel we are a part of.  By wishing that we can all balter more – it encourages us to reach out to each other to enjoy each other’s company in all our collective awkwardness.  And that’s a good thing. Because the more we celebrate our baltering, the less we feel constrained to dance as if no one is watching.  Who cares if they do. By baltering unabashedly, we encourage other balterers to join us in our dance.

And isn't that so much nicer than dancing alone?

How to worry less

Don’t feed your worries. Acknowledge them instead.

Most of us worry. We worry about important things and silly things. Some of this worry is good. It helps us plan and strategize for problems that have yet to occur so that we are prepared for them when they happen.  However, if we worry too much, we don’t take action and fail to accomplish anything.

When I find myself worrying too much about things beyond my control I remind myself of the serenity prayer.  I need to accept the things I can’t change.  Unfortunately, that rarely works. Which is why I also practice meditation. I find that the more I practice stilling my mind of extraneous thought, the more I can stop worrying when I find worry counterproductive or paralyzing. (see Humanist Meditation course at: https://humanistlearning.com/humanist-meditations/

When that doesn’t work, I try to find humor in the fact that I get like this every once in a while. I console myself by thinking, I worry because it matters to me and it’s good that I have things I am passionate enough to worry about because not caring at all would be horrible. This usually works because I rarely worry excessively for more than a couple of days at a time.  Usually, whatever I am worried about will pass and I will be free to move on.

However, if it doesn’t pass, you may want to seek out professional help.  It turns out that psychologists and therapists have some really good tools to help you learn how to control your worries through Humanistic Psychology practices like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.

How do you calm yourself when you get worried?  What works for you and what doesn’t?