You Assume Too Much

We all do it even though we know we shouldn’t. We make assumptions about other people.  

A couple of weeks ago, I gave a talk to some new college students  The talk was all about how we each have our own frame of reference that is unique to us and that we shouldn’t assume other people share our frame of reference, because they don’t.

And then, during a section where I was talking about how you can’t undo an action once done, I added in a bit about time travel from Dr Who remarking that even if you had a TARDIS you still couldn’t go back and undo things because, as we all know, some points are fixed in time. My really cool Dr Who reference resulted in blank stares.  Out of the 100 kids present, NONE of them knew Dr. Who. Which means, I gave them a perfect example of exactly how we all fall prey to assuming our frame of reference is shared by others when it really isn’t.

The point is that even those of us who are supposed to be really good at not assuming, make assumptions.  We can’t help ourselves. Our brains are wired to take these sorts of shortcuts. All we can do is be aware that our perception might not actually be truthful so that when we are confronted by the obvious, we don’t ignore it. The good news is that I learned from this and checked with them before making a Matrix reference later on.

Image from: http://www.entertainmentwallpaper.com/images/desktops/movie/tv_doctor_who24.jpg 

Giving Frankenstein a Cookie

Image: Grant Cochrane /
 FreeDigitalPhotos.net

My son is 6. Last year he went through a phase where he was scared of Frankenstein. We would kiss him goodnight and he would cry that he didn't want to be alone because he was scared Frankenstein might come into his room and eat him.

When explaining that Frankenstein wasn't real didn't work. And after an attempt to assure him Frankenstein was in Germany and that he would have to cross an ocean to get to our house in Florida making it highly unlikely that, if he wanted to eat a kid, he would make the trek to my son's room didn't work. I resorted to silliness.

I told my son on the off chance that Frankenstein did come into his bedroom,my son should offer him a cookie. No one can resist a cookie. I make really good cookies, so Frankenstein would be sure to like them.  That did the trick. He was still nervous about Frankenstein, but could now imagine that instead of him being a scary monster, Frankenstein might just turn out to be his friend. If he was willing to share mom's cookies with him that is.

It strikes me that we should be more compassionate with the people we meet. Don't assume someone is going to be mean to you or dislike you. Find out if they want to be your friend first. And when all else fails. Cookies and milk should do the trick.