Whenever I do a presentation on how to stop bullies and I introduce the concept of dignity - I get asked - what should I do if I feel my dignity has been violated. This comes up a lot in my programs on civility and how to use dignity to create civility.
The first thing to understand about dignity is - that no one can take away your dignity. You may have your feeling hurts - and that is valid. But you - and you alone - are in charge of your dignity.
Second. Acknowledge your feelings. You feel hurt. That's ok.
Third - acknowledge to yourself - your dignity AND the dignity of the other person. Even if they don't acknowledge your dignity - doesn't mean you shouldn't acknowledge theirs.
Fourth - Understand that the other person probably feels their dignity has been violated and they are trying to protect themselves.
Fifth - Focus on healing the hurt that both you and the other person feel. It is not necessary to win a - my hurt is worse than your hurt competition. Just - focus on healing both yourself and them. And work on building trust.
This - usually is enough to reset relationships and start building the trust that is required for positive relationships to happen. You - stop being a threat - the other person stops treating you as a threat. Eventually - you can collaborate on solutions that work for both of you.
Every once in a while - you will encounter someone this doesn't work with - but don't assume this won't work until you try it.
If you want to learn more - take my course on a humanistic approach to civility and using dignity as a tool to create civility. https://humanistlearning.com/a-humanistic-approach-to-civility/
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