I give really good advice on the existential issues of life

We all have problems. Big problems, little problems.

Whether you are dealing with a difficult situation at work, or you want to reconcile with an estranged family member.  I can help you think more clearly and therefore more effectively about your problems so that you can solve them in a way you are going to feel really good about.

I provide books and programs that teach people how to think better, be more compassionate and how to infuse their lives with meaning and purpose by truly living their ethics.

My clients have a really hard time being specific about what it is I do for them. All they really say is that my philosophic approach transforms their lives and that my books and programs have helped them with so many issues that they have been dealing with that it isn’t just one thing. It is everything.

And that is because, I don’t just teach a technique. I teach a holistic approach to living life fully, intentionally and ethically. An approach that has been taught in some form throughout the entire course of human history. Best of all, this approach does not require any magic thinking.  It is simply a pragmatic approach to problem solving coupled with a compassion based ethic and infused with a strong sense of personal responsibility that comes from asking one simple question.

What are you doing with your life?

Most of the problems we encounter involve conflicts with other people. To help you solve your problem, I help you think more compassionately about the individual you are in conflict with so that you can think critically about how best to resolve the conflict. 

To learn how I can help you - visit Humanist Learning Systems - https://humanistlearning.com/ - and sign up for a course, or purchase one of my books: https://humanistlearning.com/jennifer-hancock/

I'm told I give really good advice.

Whether you are dealing with a difficult situation at work, or you want to reconcile with an estranged family member.  I can help you think more clearly and therefore more effectively about your problems so that you can solve them in a way you are going to feel really good about.

How do I do it? Applied humanist philosophy. Actively invoking your ethics as you decide what to do about any given situations, tends to yield good results. Seriously it does.

First, taking the time to think, interrupts your instinctual response so that you can choose your response.

Second, thinking about what a good response would be - first requires you to do some thinking about what a good or ideal outcome is.  Notice, this involves the word - good - which involves moral judgement.

Third, once you know what it is you ideally would like to have happen, you can be strategic about how you go about accomplishing that.  I spend a lot of time talking to people who have an outcome in mind and are doing the exact opposite thing to what they should be doing to get what they want.  It's crazy to me.  Take some time to think about the consequences of your actions so that you can have some idea of whether want you want to do will work or not.

Finally, I help give permission to people to strive to be a good person. It's really ok.  Your struggles are normal. Life is hard. Choosing to embody your values doesn't guarantee success, but spending some time  engaging in critical thinking and challenging your assumptions helps.

One way to think of Humanism is that it is the applied study of what it means to be a good human being.  Think of what a good person would do - and then do that.

The compliment to Humanist morality is critical thinking.  We humanists do both.  Compassion tell us what a good outcome is. Critical thinking helps us create a strategy to actually accomplish it.

Finally - the last component is responsibility. We know what the right thing to do it. We have a plan on how to accomplish it. But none of that matters if we don't take action.

Reason and compassion in action. That is what Humanism is. And it really does make life easier.

If you want to learn more about how to actually apply the humanist philosophy in your daily life- I have an online course to help: https://humanistlearning.com/livingmadesimpler1/

Time Management

Time management techniques of a solopreneur – with big dreams.

I am a solopreneur because I am committed to being there for my family when it’s family time.  So – I have to schedule my day and not cheat my family. Otherwise, it defeats the purpose of running my own business.

To do this – I have to choose between must do tasks and it would be nice to do tasks. Yeah – lots of it would be nice to do tasks don’t ever get done. And that’s ok – because the must do tasks do get done.  For instance, right now – my focus is on content creation. I MUST get my CA edition of my workplace bullying program done. Can’t sell it if I don’t have it.  So – publicity efforts – like dong the tv and radio shows I really enjoy doing, are taking a back seat at the moment. And that’s ok. I will get back to them once the bulk of the bulk of the course content is created.

I organize my week based on tasks to do.  Mondays and Fridays I have to do client paperwork for my online courses. Monday is registration day. Friday is certificate of completion day, Wednesday is following up day.  Tuesday is a short day because my son has therapy and is out of school early. So that’s a writing day in the morning -or it’s when I schedule client calls.  Wednesday is recording day, that’s when I record video lectures, lessons etc. Thursday is client calls and writing and marketing.

My months are also similarly scheduled.

• Beginning of the month – affiliate nurturing.
• Middle of the month – blog post writing and column writings.
• End of the month – newsletters.

Putting everything in a recurring schedule helps me to keep organized and ensure that the must do tasks do get done. Doing things like blog posts in bulk helps me to not be constantly distracted through the month. I do 2 month’s worth of blog posts in a couple of days and that frees my mind to work on other content for the rest of the next 2 months.   It also helps me to not get distracted when I see something I want to write about. I make a note of it and put it in my calendar to show up on my first day of blog writing. When that day comes around – I look through all my notes and decide what I want to write on. I am never at a loss for ideas.

OH – and in a similar vein – having a yearly content calendar – for themes I am going to address  - my marketing – specials etc are all tied to that calendar. It is very helpful to me for my organizing.  I know what I am promoting when. I can preview it for my affiliates and fans to get them excited. I’m not just making it up as I go along.

I have also automated most of my social media so that I can set them at the beginning of the week and then not have to check on it during the week – it just happens.  Same with mailing list autoresponders. Set them up and allow them to happen.

Yes – I still spend way too much time on Facebook – but who doesn’t. 

The hardest thing for me is actually calling potential clients when it’s time to do so. I always end up enjoying it and feeling good about it – but I’ve realized, I need help, so I’ve recruited a few commission only sales folks who believe in what I’m trying to build and so – that will get done with some more regularity because I’m at the point where my lead flow has outpaced my ability to follow up and nurture the leads properly.

My advice for the time strapped. Take some time to organize daily, weekly, monthly and annual calenders so that you know what to do when so that things don’t fall through the cracks.  This scheduling also helps you to automate what you do or give it to a virtual assistant to do. So – get help when you need it and be creative and generous about how you pay people.

Feel compassion for those who lack compassion

From time to time, we all run across people who seem to lack compassion. They just don’t seem to care what other people are going through or the negative impact they are having on others.  It is heartbreaking to watch people who are so angry.  It is also incredibly difficult to be on the receiving end of their negativity.

This is why I am always advocating that we find compassion, even for those people who lack compassion. The truth is, you have no idea what brought this person to this point. You don’t know if they have a brain disease that is interfering with their normal brain processes. You don’t know if they are neuro-atypical and so have trouble accessing the emotion compassion.  So don’t assume you do.

This doesn’t mean you should allow them to negatively impact you. It just means how you go about protecting yourself will be motivated by your compassion for them as opposed to your anger towards them.   And that difference makes all the difference in the world.

Adding to the anger and negativity of the world doesn’t help you or anyone else feel better. Reaching out in compassion to those who lack compassion will help you feel better and may just help the other person as well. And isn’t that better than allowing their negativity to consume you? 

Advice for Life

• Be the best most ethical person you can be. Living a happy and fulfilling life means living intentionally. So choose to be the best person you can be and then commit to being that person.

• Be compassionate with everyone you meet, even the jerks. The more you can replace frustration and anger with compassion, the happier you are going to be and the more you will be able to respond to the challenges of life in the way you know you should, with grace and poise.

• Always remember, your actions have consequences so choose your actions wisely.

Image: photostock / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

20/80 Rule

The Atlantic published yet another very long essay from yet another woman who is unhappy with her relationships status.  This time it was from Kate Bolick who wrote about the dismal prospects for single ladies these days. The ability to marry up is just not there for most single women, so, they either need to choose to remain single or, gasp, marry down. But wait, it gets worse, apparently the fact that the eligible men (read wealthy) can have their pick of women means that eligible men have become commitment phobes.

One of the experts she interviewed was Susan Walsh - of Hooking Up Smart.  According to Ms. Walsh on college campuses, 20% of the men are having 80% of the sex with about 20% of the women. The problem is that this gives everyone who isn't participating in the "hook up" culture the impression that this is just the way it is these days.  It seems like no one wants to date or be in relationships anymore. But just the opposite is true. According to Cosmo, 73% of women would like to, you know, date. (read the statistics on one page - very enlightening)

So, if you are lamenting the fact that there doesn't seem to be anyone interested in dating and being in a relationship anymore, stop focusing your attention on the 20% of men and women who aren't interesting in dating and relationships (ie; the hook uppers).  Focus on the other 80% who aren't participating in the hook up scene.  As Ms. Walsh says, consider approach the shy guy or gal in the corner.  You may just have better success. I know this strategy always worked for me.

Also, don't feel pressured to hook up if that doesn't feel right to you.  It is right for some, but not for all. It's ok if it isn't for you. Respect yourself enough to know if it isn't and don't get sucked into the belief that this is the only way to find someone. It isn't. And again, if you stop focusing on "the popular" kids, you may just find that the rest of your school contains some pretty amazing people that will be worth your time to get to know. And for goodness sakes, read all the advice on Hooking Up Smart - she knows her stuff.

PS: This is very consistent with the advice I give in my book.

Nothing ever changes

So… I ran into a girlfriend over the weekend that I haven’t seen in ages. It was nice, though a little awkward. She wants to friend me on facebook. I’m not sure I should do that because, well… as it turns out, she is one of the people I wrote about in my book and not in a flattering way. If she knew I wrote a book, she would want to read it and while I didn’t use any names she would definitely recognize herself and her situation. You see she has problems with basic life management issues. I was hoping when I saw her those issues would be resolved, given that I haven’t seen her in over 5 years. It turns out they aren’t and I was not all that surprised.


Now, why am I telling you this? Two reasons. The first is that if you find yourself attracted to someone who has basic life management issues such as not being able to secure housing, transport, food, or being able to get or hold a job in a normal economy (current conditions do not apply) don’t assume it is a temporary problem. Even poor people are able to find housing and food. So unless you want to end up taking care of a person who can’t be cared for, don’t date a person like this.

The second reason is that if this describes you: YOU NEED TO CHANGE! You can’t look to other people to solve your problems for you. You need to do that for yourself. It is your responsibility and no one else’s. If you are emotionally incapable of coping, seek help. You will be surprised how effective drugs are today. They can help take the edge off so you can focus without nasty numbing side effects. Remember, the Humanist approach to happiness is to take personal responsibility for your life and your happiness.