Giving Voice to Your Values

 I had the pleasure of interviewing Mary Gentile for the Teaching Teachers to Teach Values program for the International Humanistic Management Association. 

As this involves giving voice to your values and because I am all about giving voice to values - specifically humanistic values, I wanted to share what I learned from her here.

In her presentation, Ms. Gentile pointed out that a lot of what Giving Voice to Values (GVV) is about, is asking and answering different questions. For instance, instead of asking what the right thing to do is, ask how you can do the right thing.  Then, practice saying whatever it is you are going to say.  The purpose is to give people practice at acting ethically in ethically challenging situations.  This is like creating muscle memory through repetition so that when someone is challenged, they will behave ethically even if their mind is scared. 

To teach these, she focuses on clear cut ethical situations. She then poses the question, how do you get the right thing done. This is about behaving ethically, not just thinking critically about ethical behavior.  It is for the pragmatists who want to be ethical, but aren't sure if they can be effective if they speak up and give voice to their values. By helping them practice this, it helps them see themselves behaving ethically and by their values in difficult situations.

This does work cross culturally. She focuses on what she calls Hypernorms, or Super values, that are shared with all humans. The cultural differences are about what unethical behavior is tolerated in each culture and how and whether people tolerate it or speak up about it. The training on this is to help people imagine what they would do if they could to combat unethical behavior. 

When she teaches this in a cross cultural environment she does 5 things.

• Acknowledge the reality of the local culture and the problems with being ethical in that culture
• Respect those difference and the fact that most people are NOT thrilled with whatever the reality is.
• Conduct thought experiments on what if you could do something to change that, what would that be?
• She provides real life examples from that culture or nation of someone who has confronted the unethical culture successfully. This helps give people a sense of pride and that yes, WE can do it, whoever the WE is.
• She explains the metaphor of using one's voice doesn't necessarily mean - yelling or ranting. It can be many things. It's about giving voice to YOUR values and encouraging you to think of ways to handle difficult situations with your ethics intact and then to practice them. 

Her websites have free resources

https://www.ignited.global/ihma/blog/mary-gentile-giving-voice-values-teaching-teachers-teach-values-video 

Elements of Value

 I talk a lot about how to integrate ethics into your work, whatever that is. I firmly believe it helps us all make better decisions when we do integrate our ethics.

The biggest challenge though, is what set of ethics. Most of us live and work in a multi-cultural environment. How can we be sensitive to religious and cultural differences in values and still, integrate ethics in our collective decision making. 

The answer? Use a secular set of ethics. It really doesn't matter which list you use. All lists of ethics do is help jump start conversations about what it is we value and why. It's ok that people value different things more than others. It really is. It's in the dialogue that understanding and collaboration and agreement on how best to move forward can occur.

If you ignore this aspect of decision making, you can end up making some really bad decisions and people won't feel as motivated or connected to the decision as they would if they understood the moral imperative of the decision whatever that is. 

There are several lists you can use. The good news is that there actually are common human ethics that most people share. I like the ones that don't treat ethics as a hierarchy.  The image above is the American Humanist Association list of 10 Humanist commitments done as a wheel. The wheel makes it easier for participants in a discussion to invoke their favorite ethic or an ethical value they think applies and discuss it in conjunction with the other values.

My friend Elizabeth Castillo shared with me Bain's list of 30 Elements of Values. There is a really cool interactive graphic for this at their website and again, this list can help your team or group discuss which values they think are applicable in a way that is inclusive of everyone. https://media.bain.com/elements-of-value/#   Here is a link to a talk she did on this topic: http://humanisticmanagement.international/rethinking-resources-a-path-to-more-humanistic-management/

Another great resource is the Bildung Rose as created by Lene Rachel Anderson. These are integrated ethics that help with decision making and ethical judgement. And again, it's in a rose form because the idea is to balance the values. Here is a link to her talk on this which in turn, links to her website: http://humanisticmanagement.international/using-the-bildung-rose-as-a-strategic-diagnostic-tool/

how do you live out your core values in everything you do?

Companies preach about their core values but fail to live up to them. How can companies live up to their core values in everything they do from recruiting, onboarding, training, terminating, etc...

How do you establish your core values and embedded them in every process?

The first process is to be clear about exactly what it is you value and why you value it. Most companies – write a values statement because they think they have to.  But they spend very little time actually thinking about what those values mean to them and how they manifest them in their personal lives. Spending the time to really be clear about what the values are and why you want those to be your values – ie: how do they manifest in interpersonal relationships – is the first step.

The 2nd step is to build metrics to measure the implementation of those values in your organization and then to reward people – who actually manage to embody those values. For instance – if you value kindness, keep a log of kind acts done by employees and then give the people who do the most kind deeds – a raise, or a bonus.  Quarterly survey staff and ask them – who was the nicest to you and the most helpful among your colleagues – and quarterly – use that information – to promote, give raises to and bonuses to people who are kind.   If you don’t measure and reward the behavior you want – you aren’t going to promote that actually behavior in your company.

The third thing to do is to invoke the values in every single discussion in the organization. Talking about strategy – ask the question – how does this proposal advance our core values and our business needs simultaneously. If it doesn’t – ask the team to rethink how whatever it is could be done while embeddeding the values into the work.  The more you openly talk about the values, the more it will be a habit and the more your employees will understand – these values aren’t just words on paper. They are expected to integrate them in all decision and planning. If you don’t ask about them in the context of the actual work – your employees will naturally assume, they aren’t actually important.

What are your core values? What does it look like and how does it change the way companies do things?

One of my core values is – compassion, for myself and others. I am constantly asking myself – am I treating this other person with dignity and compassion? Or not. If I am in conflict with someone, I think – compassionately about them. I humanize them and design an approach that treats them with dignity and compassion. It’s part of everything I do.

How can companies change the way they do things?  

This is a behavioral question for me.  In order to create this change – they have to be intentional about what behaviors they reward and emphasize. And which ones aren’t acceptable.  Many companies and managers want civil dignified people – but they reward cutthroat individuals. One of my friends once said – the culture of any organization is determined by the last person promoted.  Be intentional about promoting people who embody the values you claim to care about. Let the people who aren’t on board with the values – go. Over time, the values will become embedded and a lived reality for your staff.

One last thing. When we talk about values – we are talking about how we are treating other human beings. Our colleagues, our customers, our vendors. Everyone. The point of our values is to treat people well and with dignity and compassion and to create communities where everyone can thrive. If this isn’t your goal – you probably aren’t talking about values/ethics.  How we treat people – and what we tolerate our managers doing to people- dictates our corporate culture. If you want a nice place to work – you have to hire nice people and get rid of the not nice ones.

Want to learn more about how to do this? Take one of my classes. All my courses integrate discussions of core values with information on how to actively apply them to your work. https://humanistlearning.com/programsoffered/

Whether the problem is leadership/management - https://humanistlearning.com/principles-of-humanistic-leadership/
How to de-escalate conflicts - https://humanistlearning.com/de-escalate-conflicts/
Or how to stop bullying in the workplace - https://humanistlearning.com/workplacebullying1/

Being clear about your values and actively invoking them to improve your own behavior and the behavior of others - will help you be the person you want to be and be more successful as well.

The 10 Commitments of Humanism

The American Humanist Association - Center for Learning - published the 10 Humanist Commitments.  They are worth reading.

The article about what all these commitments mean is here: https://americanhumanistcenterforeducation.org/?page_id=14747  And .. there is a simplified kids version: https://americanhumanistcenterforeducation.org/?page_id=17997


What I like about these commitments and principles is that because they are Humanist - they are without any specific religious creed. This allows them to be used by anyone to 'form a strong basis on which character development can be delivered."

The idea behind this was to provide students with a positive basis for moral development.

I also like it because - they are not commandments - which are externally imposed, but rather commitments we make to ourselves and to each other to be better people. And I do think people who are internally motivated to be ethical - do a better job at being good than people who are only being good to avoid punishment.

Finally - for me - it was timely because I am involved in the International Humanistic Management Association and we are currently onboarding our first cohort of fellows and one of the things they want and need to be good advocates for humanistic management - is a clear statement of what it means to be a Humanist.  These 10 commitments - are exactly what they wanted and need to help promote humanistic cultural change within organizations.

How do you plan to use the commitments?

How to build a thriving work culture

The key to creating a thriving workplace culture - is to be specific about what the values of this - thriving culture are. What are the values you want people to exemplify in their work and with each other?  This is why Humanistic Management is so important.

The number 1 tip – is to integrate ethical questions into every discussion.  What is the moral and right thing to do here? What is a good – and ethical outcome of this situation?

When people talk about workplace culture – they are really talking about morality and ethics. Which is apparently missing – or we wouldn’t be talking about culture.

One way to get an ethical workplace culture – is to make talking about what is ethical and good – part of the normal business practice and you do that – by asking the question – what is the moral thing to do.  Whether it has to do with helping a customer or figuring out how to get energy for your company, make sure to talk about ethics.

I teach humanistic business management and am the author of the new book – Applied Humanism: How to create more effective and ethical businesses. http://humanisthappiness.blogspot.com/2019/08/my-new-management-book.html

Non-Performing Assumptions and Best Practices

Last year I went to India to give a talk about humanistic business management and creating happier workplace cultures through humanistic philosophy.  As a result, I made a lot of new friends in the Delhi area and am connected to some really accomplished people on LinkedIn.

Me at the Taj Mahal. Yes. I was really there!

One of them posted an update by Debashis Chatterjee, who is the Director of the Indian Institute of Management Kozhikode. He had given a talk to a group of bankers about how NPAs (Non-Performing Assets) should be better thought of as Non-Performing Assumptions. https://www.linkedin.com/feed/update/urn:li:activity:6377845541199540224/

Non-Performing Assumptions

First off - I really like the idea of non-performing assumptions.  So much of what we do all day has to do with solving problems. And a big way we make mistakes is we make assumptions. We don't. test our assumptions to see if they are validated or not.  When we make a bad assumption - we don't fix our problems.

The idea of a non-performing assumption is an assumption that doesn't help us fix our problem. It is a signal that we need to go back and do some critical thinking about why we are trying to solve our problems the way we are.  It's a great way to help us remember to critically examine our underlying assumptions.

Best Practices

Another thing he said related to this has to do with assumptions about whether honesty is the best policy.  He suggested that instead of it being a best policy - honesty is actually a best practice.

Let that sink in and consider how the idea of honesty as a best practice makes you reconsider how you think about honesty.

Honesty is the best policy is a slogan you laminate and stick on the wall. It's a rule dictated to us to follow. It is not a lived value.

In contrast, honesty is a best practice - helps us all see the relationship between our actions and our outcomes.  Honesty helps us get good results.  It's a best practice, not a best policy

Putting it together.

We all have assumptions. By challenging our assumptions, we can gain insight into how to improve ourselves and our work.  Even on something as simple as the assumption that honesty is the best policy.  Turns out - Mr. Chatterjee is right, it's a non-performing assumption. It means well. But it doesn't yield the results we want.  Tweaking it into honesty is a best practice - may help us realize that goal.

What does it mean to be ethical?

To be ethical is to be moral. And that’s a loaded term.

Morality is about values. What we think is good or bad. It’s judgements we make about ourselves and about others. Generally – if something is good for us – we think it’s good and if it’s bad for us – we think it’s bad.

People with more developed sense of values will extend their concern for benefit or harm to other people. Most often family members or members of our tribe. Humans are tribal animals. The way this works is – if it is good for our tribe, it is good. If it is bad for our tribe it is bad.

This is why people who may be very ethical to members of their peer group don’t see the problem with being unethical to people deemed to be outsiders.  This seems hypocritical and it is. If something done to you is bad but the same thing done to someone else is ok – the thing being done isn’t inherently bad, you are just judging it to be so based on how you personally are impacted. Hence, the accusation of hypocrisy.

But what is really happening when people think and behave this way is that their sense of ethics and morality is not fully developed. They limit their moral reasoning to themselves or their tribe, however that is defined (politically, racially, religiously, etc).

What makes Humanism so important is that it is a reminder that we need to extend our circle of compassion and concern to everyone.  Humanism is an explicit rejection of tribalism.  If it hurts me, then it probably hurts other people and even if I don’t know those people, it’s still wrong.  Instead of being ethical in a hypocritical way, we strive to be more consistent in our application of ethics equally to everyone.  I say strive because our instinctual tribal impulses make that hard to do.

Regardless, if you find yourself reveling in the hardship of others (the other tribe, or political group or whatever), please stop. Remind yourself they are human too and that you should apply the same compassion to them as you do to yourself. To me, that is what it means to be ethical.

If you want to learn more get my book: The Humanist Approach to Happiness: Practical Wisdom  This book will help you better understand how and why to integrate your ethics more fully into your everyday decision making.

If you are looking for professional or personal development programs that will help you actualize these principles in your daily life – consider taking these 2 courses:
https://humanistlearning.com/socratic-jujitsu/

https://humanistlearning.com/generationaldivide/

Both of these courses will help you rethink how you approach conflict with other people.  Or – if you want a more indepth course of study about applied Humanism – take my course; Living Made Simpler http://humanistlearning.info/livingmadesimpler1/

How to Live Wisely

It turns out the adage that an unexamined life is not worth living is true.

The New York Times had a wonderful article last year on how to live wisely. It is about college students at Harvard who participated in a non-credit seminar called “reflecting on your life” which considered of 3 90 minute discussions with 1st year students facilitated by faculty. See http://www.nytimes.com/2015/08/02/education/edlife/how-to-live-wisely.html

Participants were asked thoughtful questions. How well do your commitments reflect your goals?  How do you spend your free time? (In other words, what are you passionate about?) Would you rather be extremely good at one thing or pretty good at a lot of things?  What are your core values and how does your chosen career path align with them?  How do you define success and why?

3 years later, the participants all reflected that the experience of thinking about what it is they value was valuable and helped them turn “college into the transformational experience it is meant to be.”

Want to live life wisely? Thing about what it is you value.

Critical Thinking and Humanist Values

You cannot think well unless you have a goal in mind. Having a goal requires you to have values.

The reason we try to think critically is so that we can make good decisions that will benefit us and hopefully others. I am a Humanist, so the framework in which I make my decisions is, good for me, good for my family, good for my society and good for the world in which I live. And yes, I do consider all of that when I make my decisions.

My point is that in order to make good decisions, we have to have some set of values that allows us to deem certain decisions good and others bad. Those are value judgements that require a value system.

Most of us make decisions by weighing the pros and cons. And again, that’s about what is good and what is bad and those are value judgements and we  have to have a set of values that help us make those value judgements.

Moral judgement isn’t enough though. We also have to know what is true. Here’s why. Moral judgements don’t occur in a vacuum. They are determined by what you think is true and false about the situation you are judging. If you mistakenly believe something is true that isn’t, your moral judgement will be flawed as well.

Humanism values critical thinking precisely because it helps us to not only organize and prioritize our values realistically, but also because it encourages us and reminds to base our decisions on what is true and to change our minds if we find out we are mistaken.  Our goal isn’t to be right or to be seen as right, but to do good.

And this brings us back to the question of what is good. Humanism bases our values on compassion. But it isn’t enough to have a value system, you also need to prioritize certain values above others so that when you have a tough decision to make you know what you consider to be ultimately good. In other words, what is your ultimate goal?  For me, as a Humanist, my ultimate goal or good is to live my life fully, love other people and leave the world a better place. This is what I aspire to.

Knowing what my ultimate good is helps me make difficult decisions precisely because when all other things are equal – I can use these goals as a way to decide which path to take and feel pretty good about it.

To learn more about how a Humanist combines compassion based ethics, critical thinking and personal responsibility into a holistic approach to life, consider taking Living Made Simpler at Humanist Learning Systems.