What is workplace harassment?

And more importantly - how do we make it stop?

Harassment is defined by law in most states as a pattern of behavior that upsets or harasses the target that serves no legitimate purpose.  It’s this last bit that is most important. Does the behavior serve a legitimate purpose or not?  If the only purpose of the behavior – is to upset or annoy someone, it’s harassment.

Workplace harassment is harassment by colleagues or managers. Again – the key to understanding it is whether or not it serves a legitimate purpose. Annoying someone is not a legitimate purpose. 

How can harassment negatively affect the workplace environment?

Harassment in the workplace is a form of bullying.  Bullying is done to gain advantage.  Basically – it helps to understand the dynamic as the creation of in groups and out groups. Humans are tribal animals. We want to belong to a group. If someone shows they have the power to say who is in or out of a group, they wield a lot of power.  The reason this is a problem in the workplace is that – harassment creates in groups and out groups. People in the outgroup are prevented from getting their work done because they are denied support and resources from their colleagues. No company hires people to not get their work done, obviously. Harassment in a workplace, prevents work from being done. Unfortunately, it’s usually the person who is having their work sabotaged that is let go while the person doing the sabotaging is kept. So the cycle tends to repeat itself. 

Additionally, because bullying and harassment can and do cause mental health problems and because it’s illegal, it can also create legal liabilities. But the main reason to stop it is because of it’s negative impact on work flow. All work is problem solving. All employees should be engaged in that problem solving – ideally – collaboratively. When bullying/harassment is present in a work environment – the problem solving process is distorted and that has negative cascading impacts on workflow as people begin to hoard information or withhold it to protect themselves.

How to prevent workplace harassment 

First is to decide to not tolerate it anymore.  So many companies and managers just view it as a normal but unfortunate part of the work environment so – they tolerate it.  Decide to not tolerate it.

Second: Educate yourself on how exactly to get unwanted behaviors, like bullying and harassment to stop. This requires behavioral training.  The short version of this is – you have to be very strategic in what behaviors are rewarded and which aren’t.   It’s a good idea to review workplace policies to ensure they help eliminate harassment.  Most policies treat harassment as an interpersonal problem and try to mediate it. It’s not a conflict. Instead, companies should be looking to document a pattern of behavior and encourage individuals reporting and being accused – to document interactions so that you can see whether there is indeed – a pattern of behavior that serves no legitimate purpose.   If you do see that – eliminate the person engaging in that behavior. Don’t allow someone engaging in inappropriate behavior to claim their inappropriate behavior was justified by some conflict. It’s not.

Basically – the only way to see it happening, is to look for the patterns and to ask questions and keep an open mind. Just don’t treat it as a one off problem. If it’s happening, it’s a pattern. And the behavior will escalate if they get caught – this is called retaliation. It’s predicted to occur when you are using a behavioral model to understand what is happening, so -  ask for ongoing documentation to capture that – if it happens. If it’s just a conflict, asking people to document things – will help them behave more professionally. It’s only people who are used to getting away with harassing others that will escalate.  

The idea is to switch from using a conflict mediation model and move yourself to a behavioral elimination model instead.

What should companies do when they get a report of workplace retaliation?

Take it seriously and work to educate the person reporting problems, to document everything.  Evidence of retaliation is evidence of harassment. It’s pretty much tells you what you need to know about who is the problem.  Often, what happens is – when someone starts reporting harassment, and they report retaliation, they are seen as troublemakers who are filing too many reports.  Instead, you should welcome those reports because – harassment – is a pattern of behavior and to show that pattern, you need the documentation of ongoing problematic behavior.  A single instance of harassment, may seem insignificant, but when you see the pattern of everything that’s going on – that’s when it comes into focus.

Let me know if you have any questions.  I teach how to stop this using a behavioral science approach over at Humanist Learning Systems: https://humanistlearning.com/category/bullyingharassment/

We need to teach people how to make harassment stop

The article in the Atlantic by Caitlin Flanagan on the problem with HR and why it's ineffective at stopping bullying and harassment misses the mark. It didn't tell us anything new.  It explains the problem, but does not provide a solution.  Why?  Because - no one working in the field of HR or labor law seems to actually know what works to make unwanted behavior like harassment stop.  

Here is a link to the article: https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2019/07/hr-workplace-harrassment-metoo/590644/

My response to this article? (submitted as a letter to the editor)

The basic problem? No one has ever taught HR how to make harassment stop.

I know this because - I teach how to make unwanted behavior like harassment stop using established behavioral science techniques and I get told by HR veterans all the time that the have been attending harassment training for decades and no one has ever taught them how to make it stop.  I'm the first one. They are shocked because - it should be basic training.

(Note: If you want to learn this - here are links to my online courses. I am HRCI & SHRM approved and do groups as well - https://humanistlearning.com/category/continuing-education-2/hrcredit/) 

What HR and the rest of us get taught - isn't' how to make it stop. We are taught: what the law is. How to file reports. How to comply with the law. But no one ever teaches us - how to actually make it stop.

The sexual harassment training we are all subjected to - is designed by lawyers - who also - have never been taught how to make unwanted behavior stop.  To top it all off the training we all get is based on a flawed assumption that all we have to do is tell men to stop doing it and they will stop. The result is that every 2 years we are forced to sit through a training that tells us - it's illegal - don't do it, for 2 solid hours!!!!  No one ever thinks to include a unit on how to  - oh  I dunno - MAKE IT STOP!

Blaming HR is unfair. Yes, they work for their bosses. Yes, the tools they have at their disposal are limited. But I've never met an HR professional who doesn't want it to stop. They all want it to stop. They are often victims of it themselves. The problem is - they have never been taught how to make it stop. They've only been taught how to comply with the law.  

Instead of asking, what the problem is with HR. Let's ask the all important question. What needs to happen to actually make sexual harassment stop.  Behavioral scientists have known the answer to that question for 70 years so we have no excuse. Let's start teaching everyone how to do it using established science and maybe then, we can make some progress instead of continually being shocked that asking a sexual predator to stop - doesn't work and is never going to work.

What will work? Teaching people how to behaviorally train their abusers to leave them alone.  Teaching HR how to tweak their processes so that they facilitate behavioral extinction instead of making things worse.  Helping upper management understand the negative cascading impact that bullying and harassment has on problem solving in the workplace so that they stop rewarding bad behavior. 

I talk to people all over the world about this issue. Everyone wants it fixed. The reason we haven't succeeded, is because all our interventions are based on flawed assumptions instead of established behavioral science. My videos are available at Humanist Learning Systems or with amazon prime membership in case anyone wants to educate themselves.  And yes -  I have free programs for kids as well - 

https://humanistlearning.com/category/bullyingharassment/

Reporting Harassment

Part of the process to get unwanted behaviors like harassment to stop requires reporting. What do women need to do to properly report harassment in the workplace?

1. What steps can a women take to prove sexual harassment at work? 

The number 1 thing is to document all interactions that are inappropriate.

Date, time, location, any witnesses, any proof and a very specific description of what happened exactly. Not – I was harassed, but on this date at this time in this location he said this and put his hand on my shoulder. Don’t talk about how it made you feel – just what can be validated.

Harassment is a pattern of behavior so what you are trying to prove is a pattern of behavior. Don’t omit anything. Small snide remarks, go into the pattern. They aren’t worth mentioning on their own – but in the context of a pattern of behavior – they become important.

2) What steps should they take if they want to report it? 

Once you have documentation in place, you take a good look at the power structure. Are there any allies you can recruit higher up than the person harassing you?  Get the lined up. Report according to the proper channels. It is important to realize that this – won’t stop the harassment. You do this to set up the conditions to seek monetary damages if the employer fails to protect you.  You give them the opportunity to protect you – use the system they set up. Only after that fails, can you sue.

If your main goal is to get the harassment to stop, you need to retrain the harasser to make them stop. You can use reporting and documentation to do that – but that is separate and apart from the reporting process itself. Again – you have to view this as you helping your employer so that they can put pressure on the harasser to stop. But don’t be surprised if this fails or results in escalation of behavior or retaliation. The behavioral extinction process will play out and that means – there will be an escalation of behavior as that is predicted to occur. There are ways to plan and manage this and reporting is part of that – but not the only part.

3) What if it is a he said/she said situation? 

Document anyway. Every interaction. Make sure your response to these interactions deny the abuser their reward and report – every single incident. Once you start reporting – you have to report everything. Consistently. Over time. This is the only way to make it stop. Also, this will help the company understand just how prevalent something is. What you are doing is triggering the extinction process by denying the reward. You keep denying and reporting and the abuser escalates. You keep denying them the reward and eventually – they either stop or they blow out – spectacularly. Your goal as the victim is to get that to happen as quickly as possible so – relentless consistency in denial of reward and reporting to increase cost of behavior.  What normally happens is that as the abuser’s behavior worsens, it becomes easier for everyone else to see it more clearly. You just have to remain calm and professional and allow them to blow out.

4) Why do women, even high-ranking execs, tend not to report harassment

Because most of the stuff we encounter is not actually physically threatening we just deal with it. If we raised a fuss at every single thing that happened, we would be doing nothing but that. It’s only really worth it if the behavior is aggressive and dangerous. And even then – it’s easier to extract ourselves then to fight. But we need to because – abusers always have other victims and if we aren’t going to do this for ourselves, we need to do it so that there isn’t a next victim.

If you want to learn more about how to end harassment & retaliation in the workplace - take my online course or streaming video.

https://humanistlearning.com/retaliation1/