Self Reflection

Is self reflection a starting point for getting unstuck? Can we get where we're going without self reflection .. maybe by luck and instinct? Why do we resist self reflection in so many ways?

I teach an approach that combines philosophy and science, specifically Humanist philosophy.
Self-reflection is hugely important. It helps us define who we want to be – ideally -  and how we want to get there and more importantly WHY!

I tell people to start by thinking explicitly about what they value most. Getting your ethics straight gives you a foundation to ask yourself important questions when stuck.  Without that basis, it’s hard to even begin to know where to start.

A good way to do this is to read a philosophy book or a book about values. (Like this one) Reading about someone else’s values kicks starts your thinking. Do I agree with this? If not why not? What is it I value?  A lot of what I do (in my books and my programs) is designed to cause this sort of self reflection. The goal is not to have you agree with me. The goal is to have you think about what it is you value.

Once you have that in place, you can start considering whether what you are doing now is helping you to realize and live by your values on a day to day basis.  I like to take stock every six months. Like spring and winter cleaning. Are my values still working for me?  Is the path I am on still the right path.

Like anything self-reflection is a practice. 

Oh – when it comes to thinking techniques, I encourage people to think of three. One of the ways we get stuck is in false dichotomies. We can’t see our way clear because we feel like we have two options, both of which suck.  So think of a third. Once you can do that, you can think of a 4th or  a 5th. That usually is enough to get the creative juices flowing and it’s a simple thing to remember. Think of three.

To learn more check out my online course - Living Made Simpler
Or read my book: The Humanist Approach to Happiness

Key character building traits

How self-reflection can help you to be a better person.

Socrates once said, “The unexamined life isn’t worth living” Ever wonder what he meant by that?  For me, I know that it is through reflection that I am able to set goals, decide on my morals and realign my goals to my moral objectives in life. As a result, I am happier and more productive than if I just floated through life hoping for the best.

Self-reflection, to me, is an essential Humanist life skill. But if you’ve never done it before, how should you get started?  I’m glad you asked. Kelly Bear, who provides character education and anti-bullying educator for school children, has an excellent list of character thoughts to ponder.  (see: 52 character thoughts http://www.kellybear.com/TeacherArticles/TeacherTip52.html?goback=%2Egde_1874438_member_239847139)

Now, you might be wondering WHY I am providing a list of thoughts for children to think about here for you, since if you are reading this, you are most likely an adult.  The reason is because these are good things to think about for anyone. Age doesn’t matter. What matters is how you think.

If you took one of the 52 character thoughts and pondered one every week for a year and tried to actively manifest that thought in your actions throughout the week, you would probably be a better person at the end of the year.

You would be living more intentionally and ethically and that would feel pretty good.

So, question time, which is your favorite thought and why?

Everything will be alright

Why clearing the mind of clutter is so essential to progress.

There is a common thread that runs through the writings of activists across the globe. And that is that before they could really take on the root cause of the problems they were facing, they first had to free their own minds and decide for themselves what was right and what was wrong outside of what the social, religious or cultural norms were.

It is surprisingly hard to do. Most people are able to challenge only a portion of their preconceived notions and so their focus of change is narrow. Those who succeed often become great agents of change because they see how all the various forms of discrimination are interrelated. Discrimination comes from the same place even if the target is different.

Humanism and Freethought help clear the clutter out of our minds. But not everyone is willing to clear out everything. They are rightly concerned about being left adrift. After all, once you clear away the clutter, you usually go back and put some of the old stuff back in because, as it turns out, it was useful.

Many people approach self-reflection fearfully. A Humanist makes self-reflection a habit of the mind. We are continually challenging our assumptions. Our goal is to continue to improve ourselves and the world we live in. The benefits of clearing out the clutter of our minds are so great; we can’t imagine living life any other way. 

How do we nurture Freethought and clearing the mind, even if it is on a small scale? How can we reassure people who need to take this journey that it will be ok and that they will emerge on the other side of this stronger and more centered as a human being?