Showing posts with label misandry. Show all posts
Showing posts with label misandry. Show all posts

Consider Humanism

I was asked recently about labels.  The person, a woman, considers herself to be a feminist. But, she also was dealing with the reality that some people view feminism as being somehow misandrist, meaning, anti-male.

Obviously, being pro-equality for women is not the same as being anti-male but that doesn’t stop the comparison from being made. She was wondering if it might be better to label herself as an egalitarian or a Humanist.

Feminism as activism can express itself in many ways - but at it’s core is the idea that women should have equal rights. Now, there are some women who use the word feminism to describe female superiority - which is not what I consider feminism to be. To me that is misandry not feminism.

Humanists are feminists and if they aren’t, then they aren’t doing a very good job at being humanists.

So what is Humanism? Humanism is the applied study of what it means to be a good human being without supernatural guidance. In other words, it’s a-religious, or without religion or ghosts or anything.

Egalitarians are also feminists and if they aren’t, they aren’t very egalitarians. What egalitarianism provides as a term that feminism doesn’t is feminism focuses specifically on gender equality where egalitarians are concerned about all people. Which sounds nice, and it is. But the reason we still need feminism is the same as the reason why we need the black lives matter movement. There are some forms of oppression that uniquely effect women. And there are some forms of oppression that uniquely effect people of color. Or nationalities, or sexual expression or whatever.

If you are currently considering how to label yourself, please don’t spend a lot of time debating these things. Most people are multiple things and use multiple labels to define themselves. We aren’t just one thing. For me, my humanism (philosophy) leads me to be an egalitarian and a feminist and an activist, etc. Which is a way to say - one label will never be sufficient to define your views. When confronting oppression of women, I am a feminist. When discussing my philosophy, I am a Humanist.

But seriously – if you are concerned about equality – consider learning more about Humanism – because – it may be the philosophy driving your concerns and understanding humanism better will help you articulate your beliefs to others regardless of the labels you choose.

To learn more get my book: Jen Hancock’s Handy Humanism Handbook – or check out my online course about living fully as a Humanist – Living Made Simpler – which is a 6 hour exploration of philosophy, critical thinking, compassion, activism and coping.

Misandry and Misogyny


If I can find compassion for myself, I can find compassion for others and my negativity ebbs away.
There has been a lot of discussion within the organized atheist movement about the existence of misogyny and misandry within the movement. And while I totally agree that these approaches are negative and are not conducive to bringing people into the movement, I wanted to address here, the reality of these views and how we deal with them as Humans.

I am a Humanist which means, generally means that I like humans in the abstract. In real life they tend to annoy me. I do try my best to treat each human I meet as a unique individual. I try not to lump all men together when one does something stupid. I try not to lump all women together either when one of them does something stupid. I say try, because the reality is, I fail at this. A lot. And I think the reason I fail is because I am human and I get frustrated just like everyone else. Our human brains have a tendency to generalize patterns. It’s a good thing that it does this but it does have some unintended consequences

The fact that from time to time I harbor misandrist and misogynist thoughts doesn’t mean that I am a horrible person. It means that being perfectly wonderful to everyone you meet all the time is not a realistic goal to have. It’s something to strive for certainly, but not something you are necessarily going to achieve.

I say this so that you can have compassion with yourself whenever you find yourself thinking less than charitably towards a group of people.  Because for me, letting go of my misandrist feelings towards my husband whenever he puts a bottle cap into our silverware drawer requires me to first remind myself that I am not perfect either. Since I am not perfect there is no reason for me to get angry just because someone else does something stupid from time to time. If I can find compassion for myself, I can find compassion for others and the negativity ebbs away. 
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