It would be nice if all leaders were humanistic leaders. But they aren't Some are downright toxic. What should you do when you are being bullied by a manager at work?
Question:
I'm being bullied at work and my managers don't do anything about it. The other bully is another manager and she has gotten away with it. Now my non-bully managers want me to handle more responsibilities when I've been treated like this, because my work has been credible. So, how do I get them to address the problem with the bullying manager?
Answer:
1) Start documenting what is happening. Download the documentation log included in the course. You need, who did what. Names, dates, times, witnesses, documentation of proof (like if it was in an email) and specific description of what exactly was said or done.
2) Include everything. Even the stupid petty stuff. It's a pattern of behavior you need to prove. The key is - did this behavior serve a legitimate purpose? No - it's inappropriate workplace behavior - document it.
3) Have a conversation with your non-bullying managers and tell them your concerns. Say - I appreciate that you recognize the hard work I am doing and that you are trusting me with more work, but ... I feel very uncomfortable with how the bullying manager is treating me and others (I am assuming you aren't the only one). And ask them if and how they plan to address the problem. It is important to do this in a problem solving way. Make sure they know - it's not just you you are worried about but your colleagues as well - since it is creating a difficult work environment for everyone.
4) With the bullying manager - do not have any communication with her that you don't document and follow up with a cc.
5) The bullying manager will most likely escalate their inappropriate behavior. Have a plan for what to do when this happens. And work with the managers who like your work to get them to support you through this process. And be prepared for things to get possibly nasty.
6) As for your interactions with the bullying manager - emotionally detach and be pleasant and professional. Decide what you are going to say and how you are going to say it when they behave inappropriate. What exactly you say depends on what exactly the behavior is. If they yell - you can politely say - - it isn't necessary to raise your voice - we are all professionals here. Say it sweetly and just consider it a redirect - like if you were training a kid to use an indoor voice. Repeat as necessary. And again - do not take their inappropriate behavior personally - just detached - professional and compassionate redirection of their behavior to more pro-social and professional behavior. But continue to document.
I have a wide variety of online programs over at: https://humanistlearning.com/category/bullyingharassment/
You can also view several of the programs free at amazon prime: https://amzn.to/2RixU3p
Question:
I'm being bullied at work and my managers don't do anything about it. The other bully is another manager and she has gotten away with it. Now my non-bully managers want me to handle more responsibilities when I've been treated like this, because my work has been credible. So, how do I get them to address the problem with the bullying manager?
Answer:
1) Start documenting what is happening. Download the documentation log included in the course. You need, who did what. Names, dates, times, witnesses, documentation of proof (like if it was in an email) and specific description of what exactly was said or done.
2) Include everything. Even the stupid petty stuff. It's a pattern of behavior you need to prove. The key is - did this behavior serve a legitimate purpose? No - it's inappropriate workplace behavior - document it.
3) Have a conversation with your non-bullying managers and tell them your concerns. Say - I appreciate that you recognize the hard work I am doing and that you are trusting me with more work, but ... I feel very uncomfortable with how the bullying manager is treating me and others (I am assuming you aren't the only one). And ask them if and how they plan to address the problem. It is important to do this in a problem solving way. Make sure they know - it's not just you you are worried about but your colleagues as well - since it is creating a difficult work environment for everyone.
4) With the bullying manager - do not have any communication with her that you don't document and follow up with a cc.
5) The bullying manager will most likely escalate their inappropriate behavior. Have a plan for what to do when this happens. And work with the managers who like your work to get them to support you through this process. And be prepared for things to get possibly nasty.
6) As for your interactions with the bullying manager - emotionally detach and be pleasant and professional. Decide what you are going to say and how you are going to say it when they behave inappropriate. What exactly you say depends on what exactly the behavior is. If they yell - you can politely say - - it isn't necessary to raise your voice - we are all professionals here. Say it sweetly and just consider it a redirect - like if you were training a kid to use an indoor voice. Repeat as necessary. And again - do not take their inappropriate behavior personally - just detached - professional and compassionate redirection of their behavior to more pro-social and professional behavior. But continue to document.
Learn more:
I have a wide variety of online programs over at: https://humanistlearning.com/category/bullyingharassment/You can also view several of the programs free at amazon prime: https://amzn.to/2RixU3p
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