When we set out to learn something new, most of us fall into the same trap: expecting ourselves to be perfect right away. Whether it’s a new skill at work, a leadership practice, or even a new habit at home, we demand too much, too soon. And when perfection doesn’t happen, we get discouraged, give up, or label ourselves as “bad” at it.
Behavioral science offers us a much better model: successive approximation.
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| Jennifer training a dolphin in Hawaii while in college |
What Dolphins Can Teach Us About Learning
When I was training dolphins, we used an approach to training new behaviors called successive approximation. Which basically means, you reward approximations of the wanted behavior and over time, fine tune it. We aren't rewarding perfect behavior. We are rewarding approximations of the behavior we want.
When trainers teach a dolphin a new trick, we don’t expect the animal to leap out of the water and spin on day one. That’s never going to happen. Why? Because dolphins don't speak human. If we want them to do something, we can't just say - please jump out of the water. We instead, have to help them figure out what we are asking for by both showing and rewarding behavior that is closer to what we want.
We reward small steps that move the dolphin closer to the final behavior. These are called approximations. If the dolphin swims near the right spot—reinforcement. If it jumps a little—reinforcement. If it starts to spin—reinforcement.
Each attempt doesn’t have to be perfect. It just has to be a little closer to the desired behavior. Over time, those approximations add up and lead to the behavior we have been working towards them learning.
And ... I'm going to let you in on a little secret. Dolphins never do any behavior perfectly. They may do something reliably (like - more often than less often when given the signal). But perfection is not something any animal trainer expects from their animals. It's just not a realistic goal.
Humans work the same way.
Stop Chasing Perfection. Start Rewarding Progress.
The key insight is this: no behavior is ever truly perfect. We’re always refining, always improving. The healthiest mindset shift you can make is to stop expecting perfection from yourself and instead aim for incremental successive progress.
Did you do a little better than last time? That’s success.
Did you move one step closer to your goal? That’s success.
Did you learn something useful—even from failure? That’s success too.
By celebrating small wins, you create momentum. By focusing on improvement instead of perfection, you unlock resilience.
If you are a leader - please apply this to your team! Reward them for improvement. Don't punish them for not being perfect.
Applying Successive Approximation to Yourself
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Break it down. Don’t aim for the whole behavior at once. What’s the next small step you can take or learn?
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Track progress, not perfection. Keep your eye on improvement over time, not flawless performance.
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Reinforce the attempt. Acknowledge and celebrate your effort, even if the result wasn’t ideal.
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Never “finish” learning. Even once you’re skilled, you can keep refining. Improvement never stops.
This approach doesn’t just reduce stress—it makes learning stick. You’re rewiring your brain through practice, repetition, and reinforcement.
A Humanistic Shift in Perspective
Instead of saying, “I failed because I wasn’t perfect,” you begin to say, “I’m succeeding because I’m improving.”
That’s a radical, freeing shift. And it’s not just about learning new tricks—it’s about how you approach leadership, relationships, and life itself.
Want to Learn How to Apply This in Practice?
Because the goal isn’t to be perfect. The goal is to improve.
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