Happiness Through Humanism

The Hidden Danger of Serial Harassers: Why Addressing Behavior Is the Key to Workplace Safety

Harassment in the workplace is often seen as an interpersonal issue—a conflict between two people. This perception can make it difficult for organizations to address the root cause of the problem. What happens when the harasser, rather than retaliating against their accuser, simply moves on to a new target? The answer is troubling: it allows the harassment to continue unchecked, leaving a trail of victims in its wake.

This pattern is not uncommon, and addressing it requires shifting our understanding of harassment from isolated incidents to recognizing it as part of a larger, systemic issue with a problem individual.

The Misconception of Harassment as an Interpersonal Conflict

When someone reports harassment, HR’s typical response is to treat the issue as a personal conflict between two individuals. The harasser is coached or given a warning, and the victim might receive support to move forward. But when the harasser doesn’t retaliate and instead targets a new individual, the problem is harder to see. The harassment doesn’t stop—it just shifts.

Serial harassers are often more dangerous than those who lash out in anger. They are calculated, and their behavior is subtle, which can allow them to evade consequences. This behavior goes unnoticed because, in each instance, the harassment seems to involve a different person. HR and management, if they don't recognize the pattern, might view each case in isolation, missing the bigger picture.

A Military Comparison: Serial Perpetrators in Large Organizations

A telling analogy can be drawn from military bases that experience high rates of sexual assault. Studies have shown that, contrary to the assumption that multiple people are responsible for the problem, these environments are often plagued by just a few individuals. These repeat offenders are responsible for harming many victims over time, not through retaliation but through finding new targets.

This is why it’s critical to address harassers not as one-off interpersonal incidents but as a potentially serial problem with the guilty individual. The failure to identify these patterns leaves organizations vulnerable to repeat offenses, with victims cycling through and leaving while the perpetrator remains.

Why Documenting Patterns Is Critical

A question I recently received from someone who took one of my online courses highlights this problem. Someone reported that a bully in their workplace wasn’t retaliating against the initial victim after being reported—instead, he simply moved on to the next person. HR coached him after each report, but the pattern continued.

This is where documenting patterns becomes critical. It’s easy to miss the larger issue if each new instance is seen as an isolated event. But if someone starts documenting the harasser’s behavior—recording each report, each coaching session, and the subsequent shift to a new victim—a clearer picture begins to emerge. Once the pattern is identified, it’s far easier to address it effectively and demonstrate to HR that their current interventions are not working.

HR and Leadership’s Role in Protecting Employees

HR’s role is not simply to mediate between employees in conflict. They have a responsibility to protect the entire workforce. When serial harassers are allowed to continue their behavior after each intervention, it sends a message that the organization is either unaware of or unwilling to stop the problem. Coaching without consequence is a band-aid solution for a deep-rooted issue.

Instead, HR must actively seek out patterns of behavior that indicate serial harassment. This can be achieved through documentation, as discussed earlier, but it also requires a shift in mindset. Rather than viewing each complaint as an isolated event, HR needs to understand harassment as a possible pattern of behavior that can escalate over time, harming multiple people.

The Cost of Inaction: Creating New Victims

When a serial harasser is not dealt with, the consequences extend beyond the initial victim. Every time the harasser moves on, they create new victims. The organization becomes complicit in perpetuating harm when it fails to take decisive action to stop the behavior. Over time, this creates an environment where employees feel unsafe and unsupported, leading to decreased morale, productivity, and trust in leadership.

This is why it’s critical to stop serial harassers at the source. Ignoring the pattern or addressing it too leniently only allows the cycle to continue, creating a fresh set of victims each time.

Conclusion

Serial harassment in the workplace is not an issue of individual conflict—it is a repeating problem that requires the proactive intervention of removing the person once it's clear - they serially harass people. Harassers who move from one victim to the next are extremely damaging to your organization. Organizations must stop treating each report as an isolated incident and instead focus on identifying patterns of behavior that reveal a deeper issue.

By documenting harassment, recognizing the larger pattern, and holding harassers accountable, HR and leadership can protect their workforce and prevent new victims from emerging. Harassment is a pattern, not a series of unrelated events—and organizations must start treating it as such to ensure a safer, healthier work environment for all.

Learn More:

I have many online courses that cover how to identify and stop bullying and harassment in the workplace, for individuals and for young people. Learn how to stop unwanted behavior and how to identify patterns of behavior so that you can stop what is happening once and for all.

https://humanistlearning.com/category/bullyingharassment/

Why Are We So Obsessed with Cats? It’s All About Variable Reinforcement

Ever wonder why people can become so obsessed with cats? The answer lies in a psychological concept called variable reinforcement. This happens when sometimes we get what we want—like a cat’s affection—and sometimes we don’t.

Cats are perfect at this because, let’s face it, they have their own agenda. Sometimes they give us attention, and sometimes they completely ignore us. This unpredictability makes us crave their affection even more.

The key is that variable reinforcement strengthens behaviors and attachments. It’s the same mechanism behind a lot of other behaviors, from gambling addictions to attachment in abusive relationships. In fact, variable reinforcement is one of the reasons people stay in toxic situations—they’re constantly chasing the next positive moment, no matter how rare it is.

If you want to understand more about how this works and how it can affect relationships, check out my website bullyvaccineproject.com. It’s free and includes helpful primers on variable reinforcement and how to break the cycle if you find yourself in an unhealthy relationship dynamic.

As for cats, they’re not being manipulative—they just have cat thoughts and don’t think like humans. But their behavior can teach us a lot about why we attach to unpredictable sources of affection.

Why Our Brains Struggle with Women in Leadership—and How to Fix It

The human brain is an incredible pattern recognition device. Every day, it sifts through thousands of pieces of information, creating and reinforcing patterns to help us navigate the world efficiently. But this incredible capacity can also become a barrier, especially when it comes to bias against women in leadership roles.

For many, the traditional image of a leader is a man. This isn't surprising, given that for centuries leadership roles—whether in business, politics, or other spheres—have been overwhelmingly dominated by men. Over time, this has solidified a powerful mental model: leadership = male.

So, what happens when a woman steps into a leadership role? For some people, their brains simply don’t recognize the pattern. The brain, accustomed to a different model of leadership, resists this new input because it doesn’t align with the established mental pattern. As a result, people may unconsciously doubt, resist, or even undermine women in leadership positions—not because of conscious prejudice, but because their brains are wired to expect something different.

This isn’t an excuse for sexism, but it is a way to understand it. Our brains tend to fight what they don’t recognize. But the good news is that we can retrain our brains. Just as any other skill, brain patterns can be changed with enough repetition.

Training the Brain: The Power of Representation

One of the most effective ways to reshape these mental models is through repeated exposure to new patterns. This is where representation becomes critical. The more we see women in leadership positions—whether in real life or in stories—the more our brains can adapt to the idea that women belong in these roles.

Think of it as updating an old operating system. With enough repetition, the brain learns to recognize women as leaders just as easily as it does men. This is why representation in media, stories, and everyday life is so important. It's not just about fairness; it’s about retraining society’s collective brain to recognize women in power as the new normal.

The Resistance to Change

Of course, not everyone is on board with this change. Some people push back against the idea of women in leadership—or against representation of diverse groups in stories—because their brains don’t like the disruption. When you hear complaints about “too much diversity” in media, for example, it’s often a reflection of discomfort with shifting mental models.

The key to overcoming this discomfort is understanding that change takes time and repetition. The more we expose our brains to new leadership models, the easier it becomes to accept them. It’s not about forcing change on people, but rather about giving their brains enough new information to work with, so that eventually, the idea of a woman in charge becomes as familiar and comfortable as any other well-established pattern.

Dealing with Resistance and Sabotage

While repetition and exposure can help many people adapt to new patterns, not everyone will welcome change, and some may actively resist or sabotage your efforts to create a more inclusive leadership culture. This resistance often stems from discomfort or fear of the unfamiliar, but it can also manifest as deliberate actions aimed at undermining progress. In these cases, it's crucial to recognize that not everyone will adapt—some may dig in their heels to maintain the status quo. My course, Safeguarding Diversity and Inclusion: Unmasking Saboteurs, delves deeply into how to harness behavioral change for good while addressing those who resist. When faced with individuals who continuously sabotage your efforts, the best course of action is to remove them from the equation. Firing individuals who are undermining change not only protects the integrity of your initiative but also sends a clear message that diversity and inclusion are non-negotiable values in your organization. https://hr-credits-us.learnformula.com/course/safeguarding-diversity-and-inclusion-unmasking-saboteurs

More learning at: https://humanistlearning.com

Conclusion

Bias against women in leadership isn’t just a cultural issue; it’s also a brain science issue. Our brains are wired to recognize patterns, and for too long, leadership has been synonymous with men. By increasing representation and normalizing women in positions of power, we can retrain our brains to see leadership in a more inclusive way. The solution lies in understanding that change happens through repetition and exposure—and that’s why representation matters so much.

Unveiling the Secrets of "Mastering the 5 Managerial Superpowers"

I am thrilled to announce the release of my latest book, Mastering the 5 Managerial Superpowers. This is not just another book on management and leadership—it's a deep dive into the science of how you can truly gain control over your responses, hack your brain using behavioral science, and manage conflict with unprecedented effectiveness.

I honestly believe it’s the most important work I’ve ever written. Here’s why.

Foundational Skills: Building the Bedrock of Effective Leadership

At the heart of Mastering the 5 Managerial Superpowers is the concept of foundational skills. This starts with cultivating self-awareness and compassion—because understanding yourself and showing empathy towards others are the cornerstones of effective leadership.

Once you’ve laid this groundwork, you can move on to mastering self-control. This isn’t about repressing your emotions but rather about understanding them so deeply that you can choose how to respond. Instead of reacting with a knee-jerk impulse, you can respond strategically, turning every situation into an opportunity for positive outcomes.

Hacking Your Brain: The Science of Change

The second big idea in the book is about hacking your brain. I explore how you can use insights from behavioral science to literally rewire your default reactions and change how you deal with problems. Change isn’t just possible; it’s something you can engineer within yourself.

Imagine being able to shift your mindset, break free from unproductive habits, and approach challenges with a renewed sense of clarity. This book shows you how to harness the power of behavioral science to make these changes not just aspirational but achievable.

Managing Conflict: Mastering the Art of Response

Finally, Mastering the 5 Managerial Superpowers delves into one of the most critical aspects of leadership and - life: managing conflict. The key to effective conflict management isn’t just about resolving disagreements. It's about managing your own response to conflict.

By mastering the skills of self-control and strategic response, you can approach conflicts not as threats but as opportunities. This book equips you with the tools to navigate these situations with confidence and poise, ensuring that you lead by example even in the most challenging circumstances.

Why This Book Matters

In a world where change is constant and challenges are inevitable, the ability to control your responses and lead with intention is more important than ever both in your personal and professional life. Mastering the 5 Managerial Superpowers is designed to help you develop these critical skills so that you can not only survive but thrive.

The reason I think this is the best book I've ever written is because it's not just about leadership. It's about self management. And how to accomplish that using behavioral science to change how you respond. I feel like I've shared the secrets of the universe and how to be human - better - in this book. Like everything else I've written was leading up to this. It's an odd feeling to have.

The funny thing is - I wrote this course and book, because someone asked me to. They told me the topics they wanted me to cover. I thought they were great and I wrote about my approach to self awareness, managing change, conflict management and - managing actual real people.

The point is, whether you’re a seasoned manager, a new manager, or just want to learn how to be a better human, this book offers actionable insights based on science that will transform the way you approach your work and your life.

I truly believe that the tools and techniques outlined in this book can make a profound difference in your life and in your journey as a leader. Thank you for your support, and I look forward to hearing how Mastering the 5 Managerial Superpowers impacts you.