What you dwell on you dwell in

 One of my friends is a regular church goer. She came home from church the other day and shared the topic of that week's sermon with me.

What you dwell on you dwell in

I love this as a quote. As a Humanist, I can relate.  What you dwell on you dwell in. 

One of the reasons I choose positivity is not because I have some sick need to be positive. It's more that I am aware that what I choose, impacts my mental health.

Much like the social media algorithms. I have a great social media feed. Facebook for instance is always feeding me interesting music and dances. Why? Because I interact with posts that focus on music, movies and dance.  What I focus on, is what I get.

If I focused on things that made me outraged, I would be fed things that would make me outraged. There is nothing wrong with outrage. I get outraged all the time.  It's just that - I would rather NOT be outraged. I am aware that outrage can be manufactured and IS manufactured and I would rather reserve my outrage for things that truly warrant it - like Human Rights abuses.

I've had this approach my whole life. I remember when I was a teen and some of my friends had gotten into punk and they had gotten really angry. I sat down one time to listen to the music and it was really angry. I could see why they had become angry.  I do understand righteous anger.  There is a place for that. But if I have a choice, and I do, why would I choose to be angry?

What you dwell on you dwell in. 

And yes, I understand saying that is a form of priviledged. But this is about balance in your life.  I have been a social activist my entire life. I have attended protests and been an organizer for as long as I have memories of these things. I am, at heart, a political animal. I just choose to engage with love and joy in my heart. I refuse to allow the hate and injustice in the world to make me bitter and angry.

Finding and looking for joy is an activist skill. One of my favorite quotes is from Camus - Return to Tipasa.

"For violence and hatred dry up the heart itself; the long fight for justice exhausts the love that nevertheless gave birth to it. In the clamor in which we live, love is impossible and justice does not suffice ... But in order to keep justice from shriveling up ... one must keep intact in oneself a freshness, a cool wellspring of joy, love the day that escapes injustice, and return to combat having won that light." 

After all, what are we fight for, if not to help people find happiness. That is our right as humans. Fight for your happiness, by finding happiness. 

For those that have mental health issues, take it seriously. There is help for you. Happiness is a state that is easier for some just based on biology. But certainly, you can aim to suffer slightly less. And that is worth it. 

Subjective vs. Objective Knowledge

The world is in color, not black and white
  Image: Worakit Sirijinda / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

There is a man on twitter asking me questions. He seems to like my answers, but he also keeps trying to fit my answers into an absolute either/or framework. As a result, his attempts to summarize my views keep missing the mark.

The basic question he seems to be asking is whether there is absolute objective truth or whether truth is, instead, subjective. He seems to want me to be firmly for one or the other. The reality is that I acknowledge and am comfortable with the existence of both types of truth. This isn’t an either/or dichotomy for me. It’s more a matter of how you integrate objective and subjective truths.

Why does this nuance matter? Well, it matters because the world is not black and white. The world is made up of full spectrum color. Attempts to categorize the world in an either/or (black/white) sort of way will almost always lead to an incomplete understanding about the world and about other people, just as it is hindering this man’s ability to grasp what my opinion on these matters truly is.

Because I cannot possibly answer his questions in the 140 character format that twitter allows, let me try to clarify my views here.

I believe in the existence of objective reality. As far as I am able, it behooves me to base my opinions, as much as possible, on that objective reality. The problem is that human brains are incredibly imprecise so, however, sure I might be about what constitutes objective reality; I need to be humble enough to recognize that I could very well turn out to be wrong about what the objective reality/truth really is.

It is also clear to me that much of what I believe is subjective, meaning, it is simply what I believe and no, I don’t always have a very good objective reason to believe these things. It’s just a gut feeling I have. I happen to think my subjective truths, like rape is bad, and my love for my husband and son is good are sufficient unto themselves.

The problem for me isn’t a matter of which knowledge is better. The problem is how do I best integrate my subjective truths with objective reality. And am I willing to adjust my subjective knowledge when objective truths contradict them?  My success in life is largely determined by how accurately my subjective beliefs reflect objective reality. I think the best any of us can do is to be humble enough to admit that our beliefs are largely subjective and that they do need to be adjusted from time to time. And no, that isn’t a sign of weakness. It is a sign of flexibility and a willingness to adapt to reality instead of trying to force reality into your preconceived ideas of how things should work.

As I told my new twitter friend. All rules have exceptions, including this one. 

I've been saying this for years!

What you think about others is more a reflection of who you are, then it is of the other people.  If you view people you've never met positively, it means you are basically a positive person. If you view people you've never met as most likely jerks, it's because you are probably a jerk.

It's called projection and we all do it. We tend to project onto others our own issues and concerns. And it's important to understand this. That's why I wrote about it in my book about how the world doesn't revolve around you. When someone judges you unfairly it has very little to do with you and every thing to do with them.  It isn't about you. It's about how they feel about the world and themselves.  And that's not just folk wisdom, scientific research actually backs that up.

See: What you say about others says a lot about you : http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2010/08/100802165441.htm#.TpcmRlX_6M0.blogger

Also - thanks to Empathy Heals for first posting the story: http://www.empathyheals.com/2011/10/what-you-say-about-others-says-lot.html