Tips on how to manage a difficult client

Communication tips do you have to keep things on track. When and how to cut ties if they become too difficult to work with?

Tip 1: Stay calm. Model the behavior you want them to exhibit. By staying calm you don’t join them at their level – you elevate them to yours. Bonus is – when you are calm – you make fewer mistakes and you don’t allow them to bully you into doing something you shouldn’t be doing.

Tip 2: Redirect to rational problem solving.  If they are trying to bully, you into doing something you shouldn’t be doing – don’t roll over for them. Just keep saying – I’m sorry – we can’t do it that way – but perhaps we can solve your problem in another way. Your goal is to get them to engage in calm rational problem solving. You want to help them, but they need to allow you to help them before you can. Your mantra – I’m sorry – but perhaps we can solve this problem in a different way.


Tip 3: If they refuse to work collaboratively and rationally – allow them to choose to leave you.  Don’t get upset about this. You can help – if they let you. If they don’t – that’s on them. Often, when they try someplace else and also can’t get their problem solved – they come back as your biggest fan.


FYI – I have a video course, DVD and streaming video on this called How to Handle Cranky Customer Problems Using Behavioral Science.  Working on making it available as an ebook as well  - should be available by December as an ebook and audio book.  And yes - I can do this as a group training.

https://humanistlearning.com/crankycustomers/

Understanding that it isn’t customer service – it’s human service

Understanding that the people you work with and for are real people with real problems of their own helps you think about your job in a totally different way more satisfying way.

I started my company, Humanist Learning Systems, to help people by sharing my knowledge and the knowledge of others with them.  The thing about sharing knowledge though, is it’s a pretty lonely business.  People read your book, or they take a course and very rarely do you get feedback about whether they thought it was helpful or not.

But every once in a while I hear from a customer. Maybe someone takes the time to post a review online, or they contact me directly because they have a question they need answered, or – they have a problem they are hoping I can help them with.

When someone actually takes the time to call me and ask me a question – I am thrilled. I don’t view these conversations as a hassle. I view them as the reason I went into business in the first place. It’s another opportunity for me to help a fellow human being and it’s satisfying because – it’s real.

It’s nice when my customers recognize that my company is not some faceless bureaucracy, but it is staffed by a real live person, me.  

We all play multiple roles in our lives. Sometimes we are the ones providing customer service and at other times we are asking for customer service. Regardless of the role I play, I try to remember that the other person is a human just like me.

I find that when I treat my customers and my customer service reps as real people, not just people who exist to serve my needs, I not only feel better. I feel more human. And that feels really good.

Derek Sivers – founder of CD Baby has a really great article on customer service (http://sivers.org/cs) where he talks about how putting the customer first and allowing them to win every fight with you is not just good customer service, it’s good for you. He says, “the act of doing this every day is very peaceful. It feels like daily empathy practice.”

Being human with your customers and with those who provide you with customer service are a way to not only make a human connection, it’s a way to practice being the best version of yourself. And it feels good. So why not make work and your interpersonal interactions fun. Why treat what should be an opportunity to connect with your fellow humans as work?

Be nice, be yourself, be human and recognize that those you interact with are human too and show a genuine interest in them.  You may not be able to solve all your problems or theirs, but you will help make things a little bit better and that’s at least something.

Stop Blessing Me!!!

I’m not a scrooge, but ... please don’t bless me through your voice mail message.  Why religious expression in the workplace does more harm than good.

I’m a Humanist and I’m all for freedom of speech, freedom of expression and freedom of religion. But that freedom has limits when it imposes itself on others. This is especially true when you are in the workplace. Unless you work for an explicitly religious organization – don’t tell people to have a blessed day.  Here’s why.

Contrary to popular belief, we non-believers aren't offended by religious speech.  I certainly am not. But I do get annoyed by it when it is forced on me in a business setting. Generating intentional and avoidable annoyance is not polite. And is that really the impression you want to have on your customers?  Unless of course, you  don’t care about keeping your customers – in which case, you have other problems.

For the record, I am not offended by someone telling me to have a blessed day in their voice mail message. What I am worried about is how this employee will treat me if they found out I'm not religious like they are. This worry is especially acute if the employee is a public employee working for the government who has the power to deny me services based on my non-adherence to said public employee’s personal religious beliefs.  And yes, that would be illegal and yes, it happens anyway. I doubt that people who leave these sorts of voice mail messages mean any harm, but lots of religious people are scared of people who don’t believe as they do, so while they wouldn't intentionally discriminate, their fear might cause them to. It’s a real concern. And keep in mind. This isn't me inflicting my non-belief on them. It’s them forcing me to either go along with their religious belief or be exposed as a non-believer. It’s a very uncomfortable position to be in – especially when the stakes may be high.

Aside from the fear that I will be actively and openly discriminated against by the employee who “harmlessly” wishes me a blessed day, I also have to actively translate this peculiar bit of religious speak into secular speak so that I can understand what they are saying.  Do they mean for me to have a good day? Or are they making some sort of political statement under the guise of telling me to have a good day?  I have no idea.  But the attempt to figure that out is exhausting. And it’s pointless because I can’t really know for sure.  So, while I would like to think - this person means well, I can't always be sure.

“Have a blessed day” is an obviously overt religious expression and the secular expression to "have a nice day" is so ubiquitous that to choose the blessed option is rather obnoxious and that makes me wonder why this particular person felt it was important to use that particular phrase in such an overt and inescapable way. And all this is way too much thinking to think for a simple phone call message and so I become super annoyed that the person who just attempted to bless me put me through all that extra annoying unnecessary thinking and I no longer really want to do business with them at all – unless I absolutely have to.

If you want me to have a nice day - say so. Don't annoy me by making me do extra unnecessary thinking and worrying. It isn't very nice, it isn't very Christian, it isn't very professional and it certainly isn't very humanistic. Religion is your personal business. Don’t make it mine.

Your Customer Matters

 A lesson in humanistic customer service.

A door to door salesman came to my door smoking a cigarette - when I complained - he said - oh, you don't smoke. I said no. He apologized for being so rude and stepped back from me but didn't put out his cigarette and continued to smoke while attempting to talk to me about his product - which had something to do with construction. I wasn’t paying attention because the smoke was still bothering me. I made an excuse and went back inside my house.

I don't want to critique his sales technique but .... Obviously, his sense of how his behavior was impacting other people was lacking. He was aware of it, but didn’t care enough about what impact he was truly having and how it was negatively impacting his ability to make a sale to change his behavior.

And this matters. It is not enough to be aware of other people and how your behavior is impacting them if you don’t use that knowledge to improve how you interact with them.

Sales are a very social and interactive activity.  You have to talk to and deal with other people. F you want them to buy from you, you have to listen to them, understand their needs, and help them feel comfortable enough and secure around you to want to do business with you.

Customers matter. Without them you have no business. If you aren’t willing to pay attention to them as individuals and you aren’t willing to accommodate their basic needs, like the need to breathe air, you aren’t going to get their business.  And yes, I realize I have no right to ask this man to not smoke. But this wasn’t just about him. It was also about me, his potential customer. We both matter.  And since he showed me through his actions that I didn’t matter, I didn’t bother to listen to his sales pitch, whatever it was.

Basic courtesies like understanding you shouldn’t be imposing your worst habits on others without their permission is basic. Your customers matter. Treat them like they do and adjust your behavior accordingly.