Whose Fault is It?

Anger and the blame game might feel emotionally satisfying, but they rarely help us solve our problems.

When things go wrong, most of us get angry.  And then we try to figure out who is to blame for the problem.  The problem is, this won’t help us solve our problem.

It is emotionally satisfying to get mad.  It helps motivate us to take action. But when the action is to blame someone, our actions move us away from problem solving.

It seems figuring out who is to blame should work. After all, if someone caused the problem, they should fix it right?  Well, in an ideal world, yes.  But we don’t live in the ideal world. We live in the real world.  And in the real world, the person responsible may or may not be capable of fixing the problem they caused.

First, they may not know how to fix the problem.

Second, it might not be in their best interest to fix the problem.

Third, they might not care if the problem is fixed or not.

Relying on the person you are blaming for the problem to fix the problem is not a good strategy if you want to actually fix the problem. This is why as good as it feels to assign blame you are better off focusing on what you can constructively do to solve the problem.

If you need help, seek it out. Just be aware, people are more willing to help you solve your problems if they aren’t being blamed for them. Which is yet another reason why you should avoid playing the blame game.

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