It’s not helpful

Believing that everything happens for a reason isn’t helpful to people in grief.

Do you believe that everything happens for a reason? If so, you’re wrong. Sometimes things just happen.

Ok – true, everything does have a cause and effect. But that isn’t the reason people keep saying, everything happens for a reason. The reason people keep saying that is that they think telling people that they don’t have to grieve or feel bad because there is a bigger grander plan and “reason” why something bad just happened, will somehow make what happened less bad.

And it doesn’t work and it doesn’t help.  Sometimes things just happen. Not because of something you did and not because anything good will come out of it. Sometimes crappy things happen.

Instead of trying to tell people not to feel bad, which is a natural response to something bad happening, why not tell them how sorry you are that the bad thing happened and then offer to help them get through it.  THAT is helpful.

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