Finding Friends

Good friends are essential to living a happy and fulfilling life. Unfortunately, finding good friends can be quite hard. I liken it to dating.. Every time I have moved, or had friends move away - I need to find more friends and the process starts once again.

Don’t judge your life and friends by the social butterflies of the world. If you have trouble finding good friends, you are not only not alone, most people are  in the same boat as you. Yes, there are people who still have their friends from school with them, but most people don’t and are eager to find new friends. This is good news because it means that most people you meet will be thrilled if you take the initiative to get to know them better.

Here is what I do. First, be brave. If you meet someone you like and get along with - ask them for their contact information to see if you can get together again. They will probably be thrilled you asked. If they aren’t, that’s ok too. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. The other thing to realize is that it is hard for adults to find time to connect. There is no set aside playground time for us to play during. We have to schedule our playtime. So don't assume that if someone isn’t available the first time you suggest that you get together that they aren't interested in being friends. They wouldn’t have given you their contact information if they weren’t interested. So try 3 or 4 times before giving up.

Be proactive in organizing things. Girls night out at the movies. Bingo night. backyard bbq. Invite people to spend time with you. Don’t assume if they don’t contact you they don’t like you. Keep reaching out and you will eventually be rewarded.

And finally, look for people you enjoy being around. There are a lot of people out in the world. Some are easy to hang out with and are a joy to be around, others, not so much. Don’t worry about finding people. Focus on finding good people with whom you click. Volunteer, join groups, participate and have fun.  And always remember, everyone needs friends. Everyone. Don’t just look to the popular people, look for people hanging out on the sidelines, they need friends too.