Life Isn’t Fair

My son was diagnosed with childhood absence seizures yesterday. This has several implications for him, one of them being that he is going to have to take medicine every day for several years, and possibly for the rest of his life.  He is really pretty upset about it.  Not the seizures, because he isn’t even aware they happen. But like any 6 year old, he REALLY doesn’t like the idea of taking medicine and at the moment, that’s what he’s most upset about.

And, he’s in a bit of a state of grief about it. He’s trying to deny he has a problem. He’s trying to find another way around having to take the medicine. He’s trying to bargain.  He wishes I hadn’t taken him to see the doctor. None of these strategies are going to work. As his mom, I know, this is just one of those things he is going to have to accept.

Which brings me to today’s topic.  Life isn’t fair.  I agree with my son. Ideally, he and I and his father shouldn’t have to deal with this. But we do.  And the sooner he and we accept that reality, the sooner we can start coping with it.  Is the coping going to be easy? No; of course not. But we don’t have a choice. This isn’t something that can be just wished away or ignored. 

Accepting reality, as unpleasant as it can sometimes be, is important if you are going to cope with anything successfully.


  1. Sorry to read about your son.

    Interestingly, I found our I was partially dyslexic at about 40ish. Maybe, I might have done things differently if I had known; on the other hand I found ways to cope and succeed on my own.

    As long as you have family and friends who are understanding and can give you guidance then you can achieve anything.

  2. Thanks Nightwatchman. So far he is responding to the meds well. He is only on half dose, but so far no allergic reactions to it and it does seem to have reduced the number of seizures he is having. Hopefully at full dose his seizures will be fully controlled. And yeah - you just figure out ways to cope. No other choice. We're just glad we caught it and didn't find out the hard way - like having him blank out while swimming or something.

  3. Take heart, Jen. My daughter was diagnosed with absence seizures at 7. I wrote about it here,

    Your son is starting medication even earlier so the prognosis is good, I believe. Panda never minded taking the pills once she learned to swallow them but hated the medic-alert bracelet. We learned to cope, the problem got fixed, and now it's a dim memory.

    All the best.

  4. Thanks for the feedback Deeply Suburban. Your daughter is beautiful btw. My understanding is that if the meds work well he has a 90% chance of outgrowing this. And so far so good. We haven't gotten him a bracelet yet. I think they are waiting to see whether this is the meds he will be on. At this point I think he will though. By the time we got to the eeg I was pretty relaxed about it. Had already adjusted to the fact this was probably happening and it was a relief really to have my suspicions validated. My biggest worry at the moment is that the first choice med wasn't going to work or that it would change his personality. So far so good though. He goes to full does later this week. We were told he would be on meds for about 4 yrs before they try to wean him off, but I think that might be a factor of age. Everything I've read says if they grow out of it, it's when they hit their tweens or puberty. So ... we'll see.

  5. Yes, pretty consistent with what the docs told us. We didn't see any personality change but didn't expect to. Weaning her off the meds was incredibly nerve-wracking.

    By the way, very interesting blog, Jen. So glad Friendly Atheist featured your article from The Humanist.


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