Can We Build This?

Yes we can! Powerful motivation from Bob the Builder

A wonderful blog called, Barking Up the Wrong Tree – had a post on motivation – how to go from dreaming to doing. (see: http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2014/10/dreaming-to-doing/)

I liked this post and wanted to share it because, as you know, I am not a huge fan of the positive thinking movement. Why? Because positive thinking isn’t enough. If you want something to happen, you have to take some action. Plus, if your positive thinking is delusional – well, don’t get me started.

The article starts out by explaining the WOOP system– which is an acronym for Wish, Outcome, Obstacle, Plan.  Which is that – if you want good things to happen, you have to wish – yes, but don’t stop there. You have to understand what the specific outcome is that you want to achieve, you have to consider what the obstacles are that will prevent that from happening and then you have to plan HOW you are going to overcome those obstacles.  Then, you have to do it.

All good so far. What I want to focus on is the part of the article about Bob the Builder. I loved this show when my son was watching it pretty regularly (don’t judge).   Anyway – the point is that Bob the Builder is a very positive show. It teaches kids to be optimistic and to take on tough projects and get them done.  Good old fashion hard work and stick-to-it-iveness.

The difference between delusional positive thinking and optimistic motivation is that instead of declaring that we will be successful, as if declaring ourselves successful will give us magic powers to succeed, we instead ask ourselves a question. We doubt. Can we do it?  And then answer that question – with a YES WE CAN!

It seems strange that doubt can help us find the motivation to try, but it’s a really powerful tool. It’s not negative at all. When we ask – can we do something, we doubt, but we also are forced to consider our problem realistically. And it’s precisely because our plans are based in reality that we are more likely to be successful and motivated to take on the project in the first place.

So the next time you hear a new age guru telling you to think positive – bring up an image of Bob the Builder instead and ask yourself – can I build this?  Yes you can.

Optimism Grounded in Reality

Why positive thinking isn’t actually very good for you.

It turns out, that positive thinking isn’t all that positive.  People who practice positive thinking are less likely to succeed and more likely to experience emotional shock and depression when their positive thoughts don’t create positive change.  The reason for this is that it turns out, thinking positive thoughts, makes you work less hard – and that translates into fewer opportunities to succeed.  See: http://www.newyorker.com/currency-tag/the-powerlessness-of-positive-thinking for a round up on some of the research.

So what’s an optimistic Humanist to do?  Give up their optimism?  No.  You will notice that I am using the term optimism to describe the Humanist approach, and not “positive thinking.”  Being optimistic is different from thinking positive thoughts.  Why? Because optimism is grounded in reality.

Positive thinking requires thought policing. And that’s incredibly hard to do.  It prevents people from experience the real emotions of stress and nervousness that often give us the nervous energy to try and change things, which leads to change – which is what most of us are looking for.  So why would we deprive ourselves intentionally of worry?

Optimism, unlike positive thinking, doesn’t eliminate the worry. Optimism is grounded in reality.  We may not succeed despite our best efforts.  But if you are optimistic, you harbor the thought that, if you try, you may actually succeed. No guarantees, but still, optimism helps us make the effort anyway.

And this to me is the real “secret.”  It you want to be successful in life, ditch the magical thinking.  Work hard and take responsibility to get things done.

The Science of Optimism

Why optimism is good for your, regardless of what the skeptics say.

I have become a huge fan of a blog called Brain Pickings. They have such interesting posts. Anyway – one was about the science of optimism. Go ahead and read it here: http://www.brainpickings.org/index.php/2012/12/12/science-of-optimism-sharot/

I like that it provides science to back up what I already feel which is that being optimistic is better than being pessimistic. And yeah, I realize that is confirmation bias at work, but I am too much of an optimistic to care.

Here is a synopsis:

“Though the belief in a better future is often an illusion, optimism has clear benefits in the present. Hope keeps our minds at ease, lowers stress, and improves physical health. This is probably the most surprising benefit of optimism. All else being equal, optimists are healthier and live longer. It is not just that healthy people are more optimistic, but optimism can enhance health. Expecting our future to be good reduces stress and anxiety, which is good for our health. Researchers studying heart attack patients have found that optimists were more likely than nonoptimistic patients to take vitamins, eat low-fat diets, and exercise, thereby reducing their overall coronary risk. A study of cancer patients revealed that pessimistic patients under the age of 60 were more likely to die within eight months than nonpessimistic patients of the same initial health, status, and age.”

In other words, optimism may be a bit irrational but that doesn’t really matter because the optimism helps us cope better with difficulties, leads us to take better care of ourselves and plan more effectively for the future. Take that pessimistic skeptics – you know who you are! Of course, the standard caveat applies – all things in moderation. The pessimistic skeptics aren’t completely wrong either – as always, it’s about getting the balance right.

The real question is what are you irrationally optimistic about and why do you cling to your optimism despite it all? 

There is no “Law” of Attraction

I like to think of this post as positive thinking for people who don't believe in the magical powers of positive thinking. The universe doesn’t magically send things you wish for to you. Here are 3 reasons why you should be positive and optimistic anyway.

There is no “Law” of Attraction. It is not a physical or natural law. It is more like a wish: a wish that if you just wish hard enough, the universe will provide for you. I hate to be the bearer of bad news but there is no physical mechanism by which the universe can grant your wishes. You can’t bring more positive things to you by being more positive. Your energy doesn’t “flow” into the universe. And you can’t bring negativity upon yourself just by thinking negative thoughts.

However, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be positive and optimistic or that you shouldn’t make an effort to control your negative thoughts. There are some really good rational and pragmatic reasons why being optimistic and positive can help you.

• Feeling optimistic, even if irrationally so, feels way better than feeling negative. Depression is a real brain state and it can really negatively impact an individual’s ability to function. For this reason, happier thoughts are preferred as they help us feel motivated to tackle life’s problems. And that’s a good thing.  The problem is that unrestrained optimism is just as bad as unrestrained pessimism, which is why the manic phase of bi-polar disorder isn’t something to celebrate. The goal is to be realistically optimistic and realistically happy as a result.

•  Being optimistic helps us to think about the future is a positive way. This is important because we can’t work towards a goal we don’t have. Goals are important. They give us meaning and purpose in our lives, and that helps us feel connected and motivated. There is nothing magical about this. It’s an essential element of planning for a better future. One of the hallmarks of a Humanist mindset is that we refuse to accept the status quo when the status quo sucks. So think about how things might be better and then start working towards it.

• Positive thinking is motivated thinking. In order to tackle the challenges of life, you have to have some belief that you will succeed. Otherwise there is no point in trying. The fact that we may not succeed shouldn’t stop us from dreaming and thinking about how we can improve. Humanism is a philosophy of human agency, which is the belief that humans can actively work to create change in our world. And that because we can create change, we have a responsibility to try. Again, we acknowledge that we might be wrong and that we might not succeed, but we are committed to trying anyway. Why? Because what if we are wrong and we can succeed? The only way to know is to try so we refuse to give in to pessimism, even if that pessimism is realistic. We feel that there is value in striving.

Like anything, positive thinking can be a force for good or it can be misused. The key is to be rational and realistic about it and to not fall prey to the temptation of magical thinking. But neither should we fall prey to a cynical pessimism masquerading as skepticism. There are practical reasons why we should cultivate a positive attitude in life.

How do you maintain your optimism despite life’s challenges? How do you keep your optimism and skepticism in balance?