What does marriage mean to me as a Humanist

I am a happily married Humanist and I occasionally get asked about how I approach marriage as a humanist.

To me - marriage is a commitment people make to each other. To help support each other and to try and get through this thing called life.  In short, it's a partnership.  A partnership that has legal ramifications.

How do I approach my partner in life?  As my partner. In equal dignity and responsibility.

My marriage is a source of stability for me. Regardless of what else is happening, I have a firm foundation from which to explore the world. If I get battered and tattered, I know I can come home to my family and be supported, loved and protected. It's a good feeling.

How do I maintain my marriage as a Humanist? By supporting and loving my husband.  I don't take him for granted. He helps me and I appreciate his help and I try to help him and support him and make sure he feels as loved and secure as I do.

My mother told me marriages work when both parties, put the well being of their partner above theirs. The key is that both partners have to do this. If only one does - it's abusive. But if both do it - it's great.

What about sex?  We love sex. It's about sharing our affection and helping the other person feel good. Again - we have sex - not in a selfish - I need this for myself sort of way - but as a way to help the other person to feel wonderful. Helping each other feel wonderful - feels wonderful.

The core of my humanist marriage is dignity. We are both people with dignity and we treat each other with dignity, love and compassion.  When we encounter problems we work together as a team to solve them. And it's easy to do - because - supporting each other is an act of love.

For people looking to get married, my advice is similar to my mom's.  Find someone who treats you with dignity and compassion.  Someone who is responsible to the responsibilities required of a partnership. And find someone with compatible problem solving skills.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...