Dr. Leon Seltzer wrote a wonderful article about venting your emotions. Ways to do it so that you don't hurt others in the process.
Here is the link: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/evolution-the-self/201404/the-do-s-and-don-ts-emotional-ventilation
What I like about his article is it is all about conscientiousness. You are considering how your behavior is affecting others and taking care to make sure you don't inadvertently cause harm to another person.
His advice - chose who to vent to carefully. Is this confidential - or not? What are your listener's limits? Don't overstep them.
Make it clear - you are venting and get their permission to vent to them before you start. They might be having a bad day themselves and not be capable of listening effectively in that moment.
Should you vent to the person who frustrated you? Well - one of the reasons to vent privately is to help let go of your frustration so that you can think rationally about what you want to accomplish.
What is the best tactic. How can you politely address the problem so they will listen. If you vent and attack - the likelihood of the person who frustrated you - listening - drops to close to zero. Venting to others can help you develop a strategy that might actually work to address the problem.
Do I succeed at this all the time? Nope. Do I need to take this advice from time to time? Yes. Recently - of course. Has the problem resolved? Nope. In fact, something happened today that was frustrating and unprofessional. But ... I am taking corrective action to minimize the problem while still responding in a professional way as much as possible.
Wish me luck.
Here is the link: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/evolution-the-self/201404/the-do-s-and-don-ts-emotional-ventilation
What I like about his article is it is all about conscientiousness. You are considering how your behavior is affecting others and taking care to make sure you don't inadvertently cause harm to another person.
His advice - chose who to vent to carefully. Is this confidential - or not? What are your listener's limits? Don't overstep them.
Make it clear - you are venting and get their permission to vent to them before you start. They might be having a bad day themselves and not be capable of listening effectively in that moment.
Should you vent to the person who frustrated you? Well - one of the reasons to vent privately is to help let go of your frustration so that you can think rationally about what you want to accomplish.
What is the best tactic. How can you politely address the problem so they will listen. If you vent and attack - the likelihood of the person who frustrated you - listening - drops to close to zero. Venting to others can help you develop a strategy that might actually work to address the problem.
Do I succeed at this all the time? Nope. Do I need to take this advice from time to time? Yes. Recently - of course. Has the problem resolved? Nope. In fact, something happened today that was frustrating and unprofessional. But ... I am taking corrective action to minimize the problem while still responding in a professional way as much as possible.
Wish me luck.
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