I come at this both from a behavioral perspective (as
someone who teaches people how to stop harassment and discrimination using
behavioral science) and as someone who has dealt with this. I also come at this as Los Angelino living in
Florida now and this colors my views.
First – personal experience.
I used to work in international franchise sales. My boss was
a boorish oaf (he would rub himself in front of me – not joking). We had
clients in from Singapore. Nice guys. They were both planning to do vacations
after our visit and were asking for advice. One was going to New Orleans. My
boss – told him – you need to be careful – there are black people there and he
held his hand like a gun. The guy from
Singapore had ZERO idea on why he should be concerned about black people in New
Orleans and why that was an issue. He was extremely confused and did not know
what my boss was implying. He looked to me for guidance. I told him – New Orleans has a lot of poverty
and a lot of guns and while it’s a very fun safe city, you do have to be aware
of your surroundings at times. He nodded
and understood.
After our guests
left, I went into my boss’ office – fists clenched because of how furious and
upset I was and I told him he was NEVER to say such racist things in front of
me ever again!! Ever. My position was
eliminated 2 weeks later and I was let go. My boss was let go 4 months later
when he could no longer blame me for his bad performance. I did the right thing even though it cost me
my job.
He wasn’t alone in holding these racist views. My secretary
there – told me she didn’t like black people because they would poop in the
sinks of her father’s night club and she thought they were animals. (Those were the words she used). I told her that her views weren’t accurate
and that black people are humans and the majority of them would be horrified at
the idea of pooping in someone’s sink! I didn’t let her comments go
unchallenged.
This was the start of
my education on just how blatantly racist southerners really were. I grew up
in Los Angeles. Not only were my
classmates multi-colored growing up, I only had one job where the staff was
majority white. No one would ever say
anything remotely like this because everyone, except people who isolate
themselves in certain enclaves, has friends of every color. The racism in
Florida was shocking to me when I arrived It’s gotten better, but it’s still
pretty shocking.
Now for the behavior side of this:
Racism is a learned behavior. It can be unlearned. The
process for unlearning something like this is not easy. It’s best if people
have positive personal experiences with people of color – but given the high
level of segregation in places in the south – that isn’t likely to happen.
It is critically important that white people who don’t like
racism speak out against it when it is voiced every time it is voiced.
Here is why. Behavior
happens when it is rewarded. To get it to stop, you have to stop rewarding
it. Racism is rewarded socially. It’s a way of bonding. Failure to bond is
failure to get reward. You don’t have to
be mean about it – but calling it out as inappropriate is necessary. Every
time. People like my boss and my secretary would have never considered
themselves racist even though they clearly said and thought horrendously
bigoted things and clearly felt fully justified in those views and that it
would be safe to voice those views in front of me because I am white too.
Challenging those views – politely – introduces doubt – not
everyone agrees. Some will argue. My secretary thought I was naïve and
unexperienced with black people and so I just didn’t know the truth. It doesn’t matter how these situations turn
out, the important part is to introduce doubt. Start the process of them
rethinking whether what they think they know is actually so.
The other reason we have to speak out is because of
bystanders. People who are listening who
aren’t racist need to know those views aren’t ok and that it’s ok to challenge
them. They can only learn that if
someone says – hey – that’s not ok. People of color are human too – stop being
an idiot. This isn’t done to change the
beliefs of the racists. It is done to create a new social norm where these
ideas are no longer “accepted wisdom.”
If you are a manager and have to deal with this stuff, I
recommend taking one of my courses on harassment. They are based in behavioral
science and will help you understand the process and how to facilitate it. And yes, some people may have to be fired.
If you are an employee and dealing with this stuff – again –
I recommend you take my course. I teach a science based approach and can help
you navigate these things, without losing your job or at least of setting
yourself up to have the best chance of success.
Science really does help.
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