Marriage Anniversary

Today I married my best friend.

That sounds so trite – but it’s true. There is literally no one else I enjoy hanging out with as much as I do my husband, with the exception of our son.  I suppose this means I’m happily married.  And I feel happily married, so there you go.

My husband is the only person I seriously considered marrying. Both my parents had given me instructions to get him to ask me to marry him. By the time I was getting this advice, he was apparently already planning to ask me. So yay!

As to what makes our relationship work?  That’s a good question.  I think mostly it’s because I respect him and he seems to respect me. We are different, and we have complementary skills sets. What I am good at, he is bad at and vice versa. So together, we can solve more problems than we can as individuals.  Understanding that I think helps us to not get frustrated by the differences.

Compassion carries us a long way too. When I get frustrated with him, I get frustrated with myself.  He’s a human being too. He needs space to be nurtured and supported and carried when he needs help. He isn’t perfect and I don’t expect him to be. I’m in this marriage for better or for worse, in sickness and in health. He supports me when I need it. My job is to support him when he needs it. We are a team.

And I think that’s really the key. Yeah – I like him. Yeah, I love having sex with him, but ultimately, he is my partner on this journey through life. And life is difficult. It’s hard. You have to secure food and shelter and transportation and make sure your child (if you have one) is thriving and survives to adulthood. It’s a lot of work.  By approaching my marriage not just as a romantic relationship, but as a life partnership, I think I get the best of both.

What do you think is the secret to a happy marriage?

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